


Sometimes, What We Want Isn't Necessarily What We Get

by amahmess



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Cuban Lance (Voltron), Eventual Keith/Lance (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Keith (Voltron), I kinda hope they end up boyfriends but who knows, Light Angst, M/M, My First Work in This Fandom, POV Lance (Voltron), Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Slow Burn, and maybe some - Freeform, its an idea i had and i just rolled with it, its post season 3 ish?, mostly???, so pls be gentle, sometimes it goes into Keith POV just cos that's nice, we'll see
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-11-27
Packaged: 2019-06-16 18:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 71,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amahmess/pseuds/amahmess
Summary: Life doesn't always work out the way you plan it to. Lance has learned that in more ways than one....but apparently the universe doesn't think that's enough.(Fic is based around the line “Sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily what we get” if you couldn't tell)-Excerpt-“Sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily what we get”The words echoed in Lance’s mind long after he had walked away from his beloved lion. Blue was something he was going to miss, even if he could still hear her soft purrs. They were far away and tucked into the farthest corner of his mind but, reassuring him nonetheless. She almost seemed to be telling him things were meant to be this way. Even with the distance he could feel she was in pain for having to let him go  but, it was also twisted with the pride of seeing him grow- you’re moving to bigger better things (ironically...the red lion was smaller in stature than the blue but...well he wasn’t in the mood to crack jokes internally just yet). It was a bittersweet feeling that left the Blue Paladin reminiscing about more than just his time spent inside the blue lion.Blue had felt like home. Maybe it was the fact she was connected with water, he didn’t know.





	1. So Where Do We Begin?

**Author's Note:**

> Translations for anything in Spanish will be provided throughout the story! Let me just say that I'm Mexican and not Cuban sooo the slang/wording I use might be slightly different but, its what I grew up with so it's really the only way I'm able to write the language- which mind you might not even be that good considering I was never taught...I just kinda picked it up from the rest of my family (and google translate low key sucks, just saying). I'm not 100% sure if there are any super different ways of wording things (aside from slang- cos that always varies from different regions) if anyone wants to help out that's cool!  
> Anyway! I hope you all enjoy!

_“Sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily what we get”_

The words echoed in Lance’s mind long after he had walked away from his beloved lion. Blue was something he was going to miss, even if he could still hear her soft purrs. They were far away and tucked into the farthest corner of his mind but, reassuring him nonetheless. She almost seemed to be telling him things were meant to be this way. Even with the distance he could feel she was in pain for having to let him go  but, it was also twisted with the pride of seeing him grow- _you’re moving to bigger better things_ (ironically...the red lion was smaller in stature than the blue but...well he wasn’t in the mood to crack jokes internally just yet). It was a bittersweet feeling that left the Blue Paladin reminiscing about more than just his time spent inside the blue lion. 

Blue had felt like home. Maybe it was the fact she was connected with water, he didn’t know. Still, something made being in the cockpit as he tried to bond with his lion outside of the countless battles they fought feel like more than just preparing to fight in this weird mess of a space war he somehow wrangled himself up in and more like he was riding the waves on his surfboard back home. A calmness would lull over him….like the soft shushing of his Mamá’s voice as she rocked him to sleep from a particularly bad nightmare as a child or, like in more recent memories...the way his Mamá had hushed away his worries and doubts, leaving the gaps and holes he had prodded at filled with love and hope.

So yeah, leaving Blue hurt… considerably less than the thought that he was going to be rejected altogether but, it still felt like he was being ripped apart from the splashing waves of the beach that neared his childhood home all over again. It felt like the tears that had trailed themselves down his cheeks everytime he remembered his Mamá...his siblings….Abuela...It felt like the twist in his gut when the looks of pride on their faces noticeably mixed with the pain of worry when he was accepted into the Garrison. It brought back the guilt that would wash over him as he thought about how worried they must be. Time in space was...odd to say the least but, if there was one thing he knew for certain it was that he’d been out in it long enough to cause a worry- if not a panic- in his household. He could already picture how his Mamá and Abuela must be praying for his safety, praying that he was still alive and all he could do was fight and hope he made it back to them in one piece.

Even that was proving harder than one would have expected- and he had expected it to be insanely hard.

If it wasn’t people actively trying to kill him and his fellow Paladins, then it was his mind eating him up from the inside out with his worry. Insecurities might be the better term if he was being honest...but, it was better not to think about it. Not to think about how now he was the Paladin of the Red Lion and how he most definitely would not live up to Keith standards. It wasn’t good to think about how Keith was their new leader and didn’t seem to be dealing well with the whole thing. It made sense. Shiro had been gone...again and this time it had torn what he had started to think of as his space family apart. He wasn’t sure any of them really knew how to cope with what was happening to them. They were teenagers for Christ’s sake! He shouldn’t be worried about living to see tomorrow...he should worry about whether the cute girl from the café would return his flirtatious remarks or if she was going to roll her eyes each time. He should be worried about his grades, going home for the holidays not...not a war that could potentially destroy everything he had to look forward to back home if they didn’t win. Not that he didn’t like being out here. Not that it didn’t feel so incredibly good to know they’d liberated so many from the Galra. Knowing they had done that felt _amazing_ . It made Lance feel _useful_. Sure, for the time they hadn’t had Shiro things were rocky...even now that they had him again things still felt unstable. Or...maybe it was just Keith that felt that way and being his right hand let the feeling sink back into Lance. He didn’t know. He didn’t want to think too much about it, not now anyway. The Blue Paladin had enough random thoughts muddling around in his brain.

Being in Red definitely wasn't the same as being in Blue and it was definitely doing something to Lance. For the better or worse...he wasn’t sure. It was really too early to tell. Blue was calm, level-headed and almost maternal and Red...Red was fire, anger, frustration, impulsivity, and want. Raw emotion. Less gentle with suggestions. He didn’t hate it, he didn’t think he could even though it was obvious that Red still wanted Keith in the pilot’s seat. Lance was just someone worthy of holding his place until it was time to come back.  He was sure Keith knew of it, since Lance had caught him speaking to Red in the hangers on days he wandered around looking for something to do while the others worked or simply wanted to speak to Blue or Red...sometimes both to clear his mind.

At times it felt like the lions were almost encouraging them to talk to each other...not that he minded. The days where he looked at Keith as a rival seemed so distant. He wasn’t sure if he’d call them friends but...they certainly weren’t enemies. It was on days where they found each other in the hangers that they would talk...mostly about nothing. Sometimes about Earth but, then it was just Lance doing the talking. The Red Paladin would just listen and Lance...greatly appreciated it and returned the favor by listening to stories about Shiro...though those had stopped once Shiro had returned to them.

* * *

“Don’t you think it's kinda weird that I can hear Blue and Red?” Lance let himself ask aloud on one of the days they both found themselves seated on Red’s paw. Their conversations lighter now that Shiro was back and seemed to be recovering properly. It would still be a while until he was good to go back on missions...Coran still wanted him in bed. “I mean, I get it. I’m totally irresistible and they both want me-”

“I can hear Red just fine too. Even if Black’s a little louder so, no. I don’t think it's weird” the darker haired boy cut in, rolling his eyes at Lance but despite his annoyed expression, there was amusement in his eyes.

“I dunno, I kinda just figured Red wouldn’t say as much. Since you’re her favorite and all. Honestly, I kinda thought she’d hate me” He was getting there again...his worries, he was going to laugh it off but...it seemed like all this time in the hangers and being connected by Red made it almost impossible for Lance… or Keith to hide what they really meant.

“She doesn’t hate you, Lance” Keith was blunt, stating it like it was a know fact as he caressed Red’s paw. Lightly tracing his fingers across a couple scratches that decorated her otherwise glossy appearance before looking at his fellow paladin. From the look on Lance’s face, it didn’t seem like he believed him “She wouldn’t choose you if she did. We don’t work that way, right Red?” He says, suddenly speaking more to the lion than the boy right next to him. It earned him a purr in agreement. A purr that was directed as much towards Lance as it was to Keith.

“We? So what, you don’t hate me either?” Lance was prodding now, pushing his luck as much as he was pushing his right eyebrow up his forehead to ask the question. He was teasing. He knew that Keith was more socially inept….slower to get social cues and jokes at times but, one thing he could always count on was how quick he was to defend himself and start bickering.

“I never hated you” Blunt and to the point- Lance didn’t think he could get used to that.

“Right, guess I didn’t either. Jealous...if anything” he admitted...why? He didn’t know. Red seemed to approve of the gesture, so did Blue. He could hear her small proud roar ringing in the back of his mind, urging him to go on and get things off his chest. This is what friends do anyway, right? _Friends talk_. It was around then that Lance realized that between their training as a team, being his right hand and their occasional talking sessions, he and Keith had become friends. Keith was looking at him now. Violet eyes set on him, brows knitting as if debating on asking why aloud. Lance didn’t wait for him to ask. He just kept talking “You’re so good at everything, dude. You’re all instincts and it just comes to you! We’re at war and I have to work my ass off just to compete with you and then you go and do something that reminds me we aren’t even in the same league in the first place! I guess...I just wish I could bring just as much into the fight, ya know?”

Keith was still staring. He was trying to determine if this was Lance’s attempt to start picking fights with him again...then again that didn’t sound like a way to start a fight. The look on Lance’s face was...so different than the looks Keith had seen on his face. It was very un-Lance like...but then again did he really know him? He felt like he knew more about the guy’s family if he was being honest... Something- well more like Red - urged him to answer. Respond. Say something. Anything. So, he laughed. Just a bit, dismissive with a shake of his head “That’s what you think? I guess...I’ve always had to fight. It’s the only thing I know how to do...I learned because I had to ...so maybe don’t be jealous of that?” He’d never had it easy. Fighting was really all he knew for a time, all he could do while he was growing up. Tiny and full of resentment. Tiny and different. Tiny and tired. _Tiny_. Insignificant and he needed a way to make himself be seen so he wouldn’t get pushed down again. A way to keep himself or anyone else from getting to close. And maybe...just maybe he was jealous of Lance too. How easy communication came to him and how he seemed to settle himself in new situations so easily. He wasn’t going to admit that outloud. Not if he could help it.

“Yeah, cos it totally works like that” Lance says, a small chuckle escaping his lips. He knew that was Keith’s sorry attempt at comforting him and he appreciated it. “Care to elaborate on why, oh fearless leader?” He flashes a teasing grin at the Red Paladin, in an attempt to let him know that he was done feeling sorry for himself. In front of other people anyway.

Keith looked away, the look on his face seemed to be contemplating the options “Oh come on, I totally deserve an answer. We’re friends! I tell you about my past all the time, it's totally cool. Only if you want to but, I just bore my soul out to you so I think I’ve earned a little backstory on you Kogane”

“We’re friends?” Of course, that’s the thing that stuck out. Keith can’t remember the last time he actually had a friend...probably sometime after his dad passed. He had Shiro but….Shiro was his brother and he didn’t think he could count that. Even if he could that means his list of friends was still a pathetic one.

“Of course we are! What you think I’m here cos I think you’re pretty? Don’t flatter yourself, Mullet” Lance teases lightly, trying to mask his surprise. Keith’s voice had been so soft, almost like he didn’t believe Lance. He didn’t think it was a tone of voice he’d ever hear from his otherwise feisty teammate. Then again...there were a lot of things about Keith he didn’t know. Like exactly how he knew Shiro, what he’d been doing out in the desert, why he got kicked out of the Garrison...and that left Lance feeling like a pretty crappy friend.  

“Oh…”

“Oh?”

“I...I didn’t think we were friends?” Keith admits, almost shyly as he went back to tracing the scratches on the surface of the Red Lion’s paw. The noises from her that vibrated against the walls of his head sounding like laughter so he stops, shooting her a look and hopes that Lance doesn’t catch onto the teasing. It wasn’t like he thought their talks didn’t _mean anything_. He just...saw it as Lance maybe talking to him because he was bored? Pidge and Hunk were off doing some tech stuff...and there was only so much time that could be spent in the training room- well he could spend all day there but, he figured Lance got bored easy. He seemed like the type anyway.

“Well, we are. Don’t think you go around fighting back to back with someone in a war and not be. Sure...we might not know everything about each other but...we can change that, right? Start with the basics...So spill” Lance says, leaning back and crossing his arms. He even went as far as to turn his whole body to face Keith as he motioned for him to continue “Only if you want though….we could trade off, ya know? You tell me something and I tell you something? ”

_Oh no, he wants to get to know me_ “Maybe next time” Keith says, instinctively pushing away and mentally cursing himself. At least now he knew they were friends. Did the others see him as a friend to? They were nice but... he tended to keep to himself.  Only talking to them when they approached him first….could that change? He could let them in, put his walls down for a second but...what good had that ever done him? He could feel Red’s disapproval as he hopped down to his feet, she wanted him to stay and...part of him wanted to stay too but...not now. Not yet. He didn’t think he could handle all these feelings right now.

Lance had pushed too far...of course he had. “Oh, what is that like unlocked with time? Gotta be friendship level 4 to unlock your backstory?” Back to teasing...that seemed best, right? Leave off with a joke and maybe, just maybe they won’t be back in square one because talking to Keith has been the one thing really keeping him from going insane. It gave him something to do instead of wait around for Hunk or Pidge to take a break from whatever weird tech thing they were working on. He loved them but, sometimes he didn’t understand what they were talking about and he felt more like a bother. They couldn’t afford any distractions. “Come on Mullet, I’ve got to at least be level four so you can totally tell me”  
  
“Actually its level five and you’re at least level one” he retorts with a grin, grateful to be back to the teasing. Internally, he felt sorry for leaving right when he discovered that for the first time in a long...long time someone actually wanted to get to know him. Sure, Lance could be annoying and loud...He had no real sense of personal space but, in the time without Shiro...Lance had grounded him in a way he thought only Shiro could. There was a mutual understanding between the two of them that he didn’t really understand...nor did he want to understand it. Honestly...it kind of terrified him. So, for now, he would push away and let Future Keith deal with it.

“Hey! I’m at least level two!” yells Lance as he watches the other boy walk out but, the air felt lighter than it had a couple of minutes ago. Red was still seemingly reprimanding Keith for leaving and he got the feeling that he didn’t really know how to deal with friends. Red seemed to be saying that Keith didn’t really have friends and that Keith needed to turn around and get back there...something that he knew for a fact she should not be letting Lance in on but, that was fine. It was fine because, the slight sadness that lingered after Keith left made Lance determined to be the best friend Keith had ever had….per recommendation of Red of course.

* * *

Weeks passed after the conversation and Lance found himself talking to Keith in the hangers more often. Sometimes they didn’t even talk, they were just there after finding themselves with absolutely nothing to help with around the castle. Lance kind of figured Keith didn’t need to talk to him anymore...now that Shiro was back though...it didn’t really feel like he was back. His hair was still shaggy and...he hadn’t come out of his room yet. But he was alive and that was what mattered. The silence...well it wasn’t awkward but...he found himself unable to really keep prodding about Keith’s past or even to talk about Shiro. He was just grateful Keith hadn’t stopped talking to him in general though...he felt like Red might have something to do with it. She was dead silent whenever he asked her about it but...that was fine. Unless Red was forcing Keith to be friends with him...that was not fine and if that was what was going on he hoped Red let it go.

Despite this worry, he found he enjoyed Keith’s company. He wasn’t a stick in the mud...sometimes Keith would actually make jokes! Funny ones! It was something Pidge and Hunk never believed but, he swore on his family that it was true. Part of him wanted to keep Keith’s jokes and laughs to himself but...Pidge and Hunk deserved to know. Keith deserved to have them too.

And that is how Lance found himself organizing another movie night. Pidge and Hunk were always in for it. Somehow Pidge had found a way to get translate what could only be described as the alien version movies...sure the dub over voice was robotic and emotionless but it made the experience so much better! Not to mention Hunk made snacks every time...he’d somehow found a way to make alien food that tastes like popcorn. Lance didn’t question it...he just accepted it. This was their life now and he was going to make the best of it. Now Keith could be a part of it...they’d never asked him before….figuring he hated all of them but at least now he liked? tolerated? Lance. So, all that was left to do was ask. Like his Mamá would always say: _ya tienes el no ve por el si (translation: you already have the no, go for the yes)._

“Sooooo….” Lance says, swinging his legs back and forth from his place on the Red Lion’s paw as he looked down at Keith, who was situated on the floor with his back leaning against Red. “Pidge figured out a translation for these old alien movies we found on the ship a while back and sometimes we have movie nights. Hunk makes this weird alien popcorn- I mean it tastes like popcorn but it doesn’t look like popcorn...looks more like moss really but that’s not the point! We’re gonna have another one tomorrow night...and we wanted to know if you wanted in”

“Me?” The question had slipped from his lips before he knew what he was saying. Sure, he and Lance had been spending more time with each other- if that was what they could even classify sitting in silence together as but, well he found it kind of hard to believe that he was being asked to hang out with them. He’d noticed them having a movie night before….he’d heard their laughter as he walked out of the training room toward the kitchen. He’d sneak behind them, take some food and leave. Though he’d be lying if he said his heart didn’t ache for that kind of bonding? Was that what it was?

He tried to snuff out the bit of happiness that burst in his heart at the thought of doing things teens actually did. He tried not to get happy at the idea of having _friends,_ plural, as in more than one. Keyword: tried because despite his best effort the corner of his lip twitched upward. Just the tiniest bit but, Lance noticed...of course he did. That boy was more observant than he let on and before Keith had the chance to let his smile fade, Lance was already nodding and grinning “Yeah! You’re the only one here dude. I mean sure, I could be asking Red or Blue here but...something tells me that they won’t exactly fit in the commons. So...whaddya say, Mullet?”  

“Uh...sure?”

“Awesome! Don’t forget your pjs!”

And that was that. All that worrying for nothing! Soon enough the two were talking nonsense again, Lance cracking jokes and Keith trying his best not to react. It was...nice.

* * *

“I can’t believe you actually asked him to come,” the Yellow Paladin says, mixing what he hoped would be a successful attempt at making cookies. Alien food was weird but...Hunk had a knack for cooking so most times things went well and hopefully the brownie incident wouldn’t repeat itself.

“Yeah, me either. Kinda expected him to say no and then go brood in the darkness or whatever he does” Lance says from his place on the counter, swinging his legs to the weird beat of Pidge’s fingers clacking away on her laptop beside him.

“I think Hunk’s talking more about how you swore you hated him. You were literally obsessed with everything he did” Pidge says, pausing for a moment to adjust her glasses and look over the string of code that was on her screen.

Lance flushed “I was not! I just couldn’t stand him being so good at everything! But now…”   _But now what?_ Nothing had changed...Keith was still...well _Keith._ He guessed...he understood him more? He hadn’t realized he trailed off until he looked over to his right and saw a smug grin on Pidge’s face. Lance furrowed his brow, turning to Hunk who was giving him a curious look.

“But now what? I don’t think anything’s really changed, buddy. Don’t get me wrong, I think it's great that you guys are getting along. I got really worried, ya know? We need teamwork for Voltron and most times….it's your guys’ fault we fail” Hunk says, with no real malice or mean spirit in his tone. He was a gentle guy, even when he was practically telling Lance that he and Keith were messing things up in training.

“Can we just drop it?” His tone was defensive...he knew that but he didn’t need his friends prodding at his new friendship. “It’s probably Red’s fault or something. Whatever...how are those cookies coming along?” he says, craning his neck to look at the finished mixture in a desperate attempt to change the topic. Pidge laughed next to him but, he ignored her and whatever she was trying to insinuate. Right now, it was time to get ready for the best movie night ever!

“I think it's good? Won’t really know until I put these babies in the oven though” Hunk was already moving towards the oven, one of the baking trays in his hands and his back to his fellow Paladins. Lance looked at Pidge and grinned before reaching over to get a chunk of the (hopefully) delicious cookie dough. He handed half his chunk to Pidge and the two of them brought the mix to their nose, giving it a long sniff. It seemed fine….there was only one way to find out. He looked at Pidge and the two of them seemed to have a silent countdown before popping the bits into their mouths. A second passed before their eyes widened with excitement. It tasted just like chocolate chip cookies! “Hunk, buddy have I told you how much I love you lately?”

“You ate some of the cookie dough, didn’t you?” Hunk says, knowingly looking at Pidge and Lance as he set down his oven mitts. The guilt was already written all over their faces, not that Hunk really minded...the compliment meant his cookies would probably turn out just fine! He lets out a sigh “Lance, I already told you. Eating that stuff raw is gonna make your stomach hurt, now get out of my kitchen so I can finish making the snacks. You too Pidge” he says, pointing his spoon. Pidge opened her mouth to argue but...if there was one thing you didn’t mess with, it was Hunk and his cooking. With a swift nod, she shut her laptop and pulled Lance behind her.

“Come on, I should set up the TV now anyway”

“Can I choose a movie?”

“I think you’d cry if we didn’t let you” she jokes, earning a whine from Lance. Soon enough the whole thing was set up, Hunk was done cooking and the three of them had disbursed to their rooms to change. They were lucky the provided pajamas were comfortable. Lance almost didn’t want to change out of them once he put them on if he was honest. They were soft and felt expensive. Much better than anything he’d ever put on his body back on Earth….and to make it better, everyone had matching ones! Once he slipped on his slippers, he made his way to the couch. He’d already taken the liberty of decorating the area with pillows and blankets so everyone would be comfortable and Hunk had placed the snacks in the middle of the room.

It was perfect.

Pidge had already wrapped herself in blankets by the time he was out and he figured Hunk was getting them something to drink. He was thoughtful like that. Even though there was plenty of room on the couch, Lance plopped himself onto the array of pillows he had strategically placed along the floor….it was more comfortable that way in case Hunk or Pidge ended up falling asleep. He stretched, reaching forward to grab a cookie off the plate in front of him when a tiny hand darted out and smacked it out of the way.

“Hunk didn’t let me have one, so you get to suffer too. He said he wants to make sure Keith gets one or whatever” she groans, retreating her hand back into the cocoon of blankets. Lance lets out a sigh, long and dramatic as he tilts his head upward to look at the sound of footsteps.

It was Hunk….with a slightly nervous looking Keith next to him. He did come! “Hey! Keith! You made it!” He says, smile maybe a little too wide but...he was just happy they were all a friend group now. Or at least they would be soon.

“You invited me...so…” he says, trailing off and looking at Hunk for a moment before casting his attention back to the two cups in his hands.

“I found him in the hall and asked him to help out,” Hunk says and Lance realized that meant Keith had been trying to bail….Bless Hunk and his friendliness or Lance would have ended up looking like a liar. Bless that the two had seemingly been talking before. This whole friend group thing might actually work out! They would all get along just fine...and then Keith would have more friends and...slowly leave him for the others- NO! Bad brain! Happy thoughts! Everything is just gonna be hunky-dory!

“Hunk tried to make some hot cocoa like thing….tastes pretty good” Keith felt awkward like the whole situation was strained. Maybe Hunk was just being nice to...just be nice...No. The guy was way too genuine for that. Even he could tell.

“Cool cool! Just take a seat then and we’ll get this movie night going!” he cheers, picking his head up off the side of the couch and reaching for a blanket as Hunk and Keith made their way to the couch “I chose a random one so, this should be interesting”

“As long as it's not like that weird horror movie….alien monsters are too scary” Hunk moved to the couch beside Pidge, reaching into the pile of blankets she now inhabited to hand her a cup. It took Lance a second to register the hand out in front of him. Keith’s hand. Keith was handing him a cup

“Oh, thanks man” he gripped the cup with both hands, taking a long wiff...and for a brief second he felt like he was back home.

“No problem” Keith didn’t think before taking the spot next to Lance. Sitting next to Hunk would...be okay but he didn’t really talk to him and...he was pretty sure all the conversations he’d had with Pidge were always strictly mission-related so that was out. Lance….well he was comfortable with Lance- to a certain extent.

Lance looked at Keith for a second, they weren’t super close or anything….he just hadn’t expected the guy to plop down next to him. Whatever. On with the show! He pressed play on the weird remote in his hand and focused his attention on the weird robotic voice. It was some weird alien romance….probably supposed to be a real tear-jerker but Lance just found himself laughing.

_“But father, this is the man I wish to marry”_

 

_“You shame your family. That man is nothing! You will marry another, that is final!”_

 

_“But father- I love him”_

The robotic voice was just too much. Just the deadpan way it delivered the dramatic lines in contrast with the flails and pained looks on the actors' faces….it was terrible in the best way possible. The four found themselves laughing hard, occasionally choking on food when an important line was delivered oh so emotionlessly. When the movie was over and the remnants of laughter were shaken out of them, Lance turned to Keith...who was actually smiling.

“As great as that was, you know what that needed?” Pidge asks, popping her head out of her blanket cave with a grin on her face. Hunk and Lance groaned, knowing that she was joking with them….the girl just had some weird liking toward really bad movies and insisted that every movie be turned into one.

“Shitty graphics- or really bad alien stereotypes ” Somehow Keith had managed to say exactly what Pidge was thinking. Something along the lines of what she said every time they watched one of those movies “But, like the super stereotypical kind. Like if she was trying to marry a little green guy instead of whatever his name was, it would have been so much better”

Keith hadn’t realized he’d actually talked...he was joking but...maybe they wouldn’t like that. He was just too caught up on all the sweets and laughter that he hadn’t thought before just talking. He started getting anxious until he noticed Pidge’s face lit up “Yes! Exactly!”

“Pidge, this movie is literally all aliens! Why would making it look worse make it better” Lance groans, turning to Keith and pointing a finger “Don’t encourage this!”

“Lance! Shitty movies are the best!” Pidge says, looking at Keith who was nodding in approval “See! He gets it! Oh man, we have tons to talk about! I’ve been trying to get these guys to let me try and get some human movies but they keep vetoing my suggestions!”

Keith smiled again “...what kind of shitty movies?”

“Any of them really. Early horror movies have got to be the best though. Terrible acting, terrible quality, reaaaally bad graphics” she says, shimmying her way out of her blankets with an excited look in her eyes.

“Yeah, I used to watch those all the time...that and...conspiracy stuff. My dad had a big collection of alien movies” he says, thinking back to the times he and his father would watch the movies claiming to have proof of what was out there. Looking back he realized that his father was laughing about how wrong and right they were….considering his mother and all.

“I think we’re gonna get along just fine” Pidge says and Lance didn’t like the glint in her eyes. Sure he wanted them all to be friends but...now it looks like he’s stuck with two weird movie lovers. Not that he didn’t find the conspiracy theorist side of Pidge but now she had someone to talk to about it and he didn’t think he would hear the end of it.

_Sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily what we get_

Well...at least they were friends or...getting there. After a bit of talking, the group decided to make movie nights a weekly thing. Hanging out together or in little groups, sometimes just sitting in the same room together was becoming a norm. Sure, Lance and Keith still spent time in the hangers and Keith...didn’t seem to talk a whole lot yet- they had a group. And it was starting to feel more like a family than ever before. Lance was grateful. No one knew it but...he needed it.

Keith, he was grateful too. For once he didn’t feel out of place, he was included and it wasn’t like being shoved into the deep end of a pool without knowing how to swim. It was at his own pace, talking to Lance had been like dipping his toe - just breaking the surface...and now, he was about waist deep in comfort. Most of the discomfort he felt stemmed from not knowing what to do or how to properly react but...for now, this was good. It was great. Unbeknownst to him, he needed this too.


	2. Brave Face Talks So Lightly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone's busy and Lance feels lonely.

Keith was working with the Blade. He had been for a while and Lance wasn’t going to say he missed the raven haired boy he’d learned to call his friend but, he did. Shiro had gotten better and had finally walked out of his room to join them in missions but...he still insisted on helping from inside the castle. Keith was still their leader, which was cool and all but he was also training with the Blade of Marmora….Not that that was a problem. Lance totally understood the whole wanting to get to know his Galra side a little better but, it just didn’t leave Keith with a whole lot of free time. 

Things were getting tough and the only one who ever seemed to have any downtime anymore was Lance. Pidge and Hunk were off being the little geniuses they were, Allura and Shiro would talk strategy and training schedules all the time and Coran….was always doing something. Sure Lance could help but after the fourth time hearing about Coran and the time he accidentally got his hand sucked into the food goo tube while trying to clean it he’d just about had it. He loved the guy, he really did. Coran was like the weird uncle he didn’t know he wanted- considering he already had so many back on Earth….but he could only take so much.

With Keith gone he found himself thinking about Earth a lot more. He found himself missing his family...both of them. His weird little miss-match of a space family was separated for the time being….the rest of them had a part to play and Lance felt like his part was so small and really,  _ really _ unimportant. Not to say anyone had ever told him he wasn’t helpful but, no one ever called him out on good things he did- had he made a mark? Or was he the one just simply following orders? If his Mamá was here, he knew she’d reprimand him...console him in the way she always had.

_ “Mijo, cómo piensas que no vales nada? Eres todo (My son, how do you think you’re worth nothing? You are everything)”   _

He could hear her voice in his head so clearly, but without her kind face and fingers trailing lightly through his hair as he leaned against her on the couch...it wasn’t enough. He knew it was okay to miss his family but...he just hadn’t realized how they had kept him grounded until he was too far to see or hear them when he wanted. Everyone had something to miss back on Earth….and he just hoped to keep himself grounded in the new but he found himself pushing away. He couldn’t burden anyone else with this right now. They were in the middle of a war and him being emotionally weak would not be the reason for their downfall, he would make sure or that so, instead, he went to clear his head. 

Usually, on days like this he’d make his way to the hangers and talk to Blue and Red but...right now that reminded him of the fact that his new friend- the one that understood this part of his brain, was too busy for him too. He just let his feet take him, looking but not really seeing in front of him. It wasn’t until he found himself in an empty hallway that he brought himself out of his head. It wasn’t because he was tired of thinking- he was but he could never find himself a way to stop, it was more because of the view in front of him. Thousands of stars...most of them were probably unknown by any other humans. Despite the thoughts swirling in his head, Lance found himself smiling. A bittersweet one, from the memories of laying in the grass of his front yard pointing up and calling out constellations that he could see. His family laughing in the background with the faint sound of music filling the air. 

It was more than that though. His fascination stemmed from a rather...morbid thought but, truth be told his love for the stars came after his Abuelito’s funeral. He was nine at the time and he wasn’t quite able to accept the fact that his Abuelito was gone. The man had taught him to play guitar, to feel the music in his soul rather than just listen to the lyrics...he was a strong man and he couldn’t believe that just like that cancer had taken him away. It started small, in his lungs after years and years of smoking but, it traveled through him like a forest fire. After three months, his scans had lit up like a Christmas Tree….and there was no going back. Lance has been told he looked a lot like his Abuelito did in his teens, the same tall and lean structure and blue eyes that sparkled with mischief. He was a lot tanner than his Abuelito was in his youth but the resemblance was almost hilarious. A lot of his personality carried into Lance which...made the family feel like they hadn’t totally lost him. But, at nine years old….none of that even mattered. What mattered is that one of the men he looked up to the most was gone. His mother had found him outside on the front porch during the wake, some of his Abuelito’s favorite songs playing in the background….he was supposed to go into the backyard with the others- who were now just his immediate family since, it was nearing midnight  and play his guitar as sort of a tribute to his grandfather. Yet, he couldn’t bring himself to do anything but absentmindedly pick at the guitar strings and stare off into the sky, silently pleading for this not to be real. 

* * *

_Memory Start_

* * *

 

_ “Mijo, que haces aqui? Te estamos esperando (My son, what are you doing here? We’re waiting for you”  _

_ “No puedo...Mas mejor que cante Luis, el se sabe la cancion mas mejor que yo. Mi Abuelito apenas me la vía enseñado (I cant… Its better if Luis sings, he knows the song better than I do. My Grandfather barley showed me the song)”  He desperately wiped at his eyes, trying to hide the tears that had been welling up inside him...for his mother’s sake. They were all in pain and he knew it...he just couldn’t help but see how him playing would be any better than his cousin playing for them. Luis was better anyway, he took classes in school for this.  _

_ “Pero el te lo enseño a  _ **_ti_ ** _ , no a Luis. Yo se que es duro….pero mi Papá le hubiera gustado mirarte cantar esta canción. Ya se que el te mirara desde el cielo (He taught it to  _ **_you_ ** _ , not Luis. I know its hard….but my dad would have liked to see you sing this song. I know he’ll watch from Heaven)”  _

_ Her voice was soft, with little sniffles and he knew she had been crying too. They all had. He wanted to comfort her but, instead, he let out a sigh and looked up to the stars. He’s watching from up there….that’s a nice thought but...could it be?  _

_ “Sabes lo que me dijo cuando yo estaba chiquita? (You know what he told me when I was a little girl?)” She was moving to sit next to him now, hand wrapping around his shoulder and pushing his head into hers as fingers worked their way into his hair “Cada uno de esas estrellas son alguien. Cuando uno se muere, te conviertes en una estrella, por eso hay tantos. Esa estrella ahi, esa es mi Abuela y la otra que sigue es mi Abuelo. (Each one of those stars is someone. When you die, you become a star, that's why there are so many. That star there, that's my Grandmother and the one next to that is my Grandfather”  She was pointing, a small smile perched on her face and he couldn’t help but stare in the direction of her finger.  _

_ “Y ese es mi Abuelito (and that one is my Grandfather)” he announced, pointing to a twinkling star under the two his Mamá had pointed out. He saw the smile widen on his mother’s lips and felt one sneaking its way on his own. Of course his Abuelito would say something like that, of course, he would be a star and of course he would be the one that twinkled. It was almost like he was waiting for Lance to notice him.  _

_ “Si, yo tambien pienso lo mismo. Y desde ahi te mira, el te va cuidar, echarte porras y te va oír cantar. ‘Lancito es muy talentoso, mija! El nos va sacar de pobres!’, es lo que me decía ‘No lo vayas a dejar que se heche a podrir en el trabajo, ah este si le gusta la escuela...este si lo va hacer. Va comenzar una línea de escolares en esta familia!’ Y sabes que, mi Papá nunca me ah mentido (Yes, I think so too. And from there he’ll see you, he’ll take care of you, cheer for you and hear you sing. “Lancito is very talented, my daughter! He’ll take us out of poverty!’, that’s what he would say to me ‘Don’t let him rot away in work, he likes school….this one is going to make it. He’s going to start a line of scholars in this family!’ and you know what, my Dad has never lied to me)” The smile on her face was genuine and Lance couldn’t help but cry. His grandfather had thought the world of him….he was going to make him proud. Starting with this song.  _

* * *

Memory End

* * *

 

At first his fascination with looking at the stars was just a way for him to search for his Abuelito before bed and then he found out stars had names. He found out that stars could create pictures and he got curious. It turned out, the stars they had pointed out that night came from a constellation called Orion and from there...Lance kept searching. Space was HUGE and once Lance found out he could be a pilot and travel the stars….he was hooked. 

That’s why making it into the Garrison had meant so much….his Abuelito never lied but now...he was so far away from the clumps of stars he’d become so familiar with. Could he take care of Lance now? Could he see him? If he sang….could he hear?

It was silly and he knew it but….that little story- a belief…whatever it was called gave him hope on the worst days. He’d look out the window of his room in the Garrison and see his Abuelito and it calmed him. His family might be miles away but the stars were always something that connected them. He’d told Hunk about it...being his roommate and all. Hunk thought it was sweet, he’d wave at the star with Lance and it was nice. He needed to stop thinking like that.

It  _ is _ nice, not  _ was _ . Nothing was gone.

This was just a change in plans because…. _ sometimes, what we want isn't necessarily what we get _ . He had wanted to be a fighter pilot and ended up a cargo pilot just to go back to fighter status after Keith got kicked out….just to end up here in Voltron. It doesn’t mean things went  _ wrong _ they just didn’t go as planned and that was okay. 

Even if it didn’t feel okay.

* * *

 

Since finding the hall with the big window, it became Lance’s new hiding place. It was nice to just sit and think, not that he really needed to find a place to be alone….the stars just seemed to bring more comfort. He’d just visited Keith in his room...not being able to take keeping this to himself anymore. He knew Keith would be blunt and to the point, even if it hurt….he needed that. Hunk would make a big deal out of the whole thing and get Pidge involved in consoling him. Pidge...would have been blunt too and he could have easily just gone to her but telling her without telling Hunk felt wrong. Especially since he didn't think the two of them ever really had free time and was even more certain that any free time they did have was spent together. Sure they offered to hang out with him but...right now Lance couldn’t bring himself to be himself for them.

He could honestly come up with thousands of excuses as to why he didn’t talk to anyone else...but most of the truth was that he found himself in front of Keith’s door without really thinking about it. He didn’t let himself question the action, passing it off as just confiding in his new leader because….well what else would it be? Keith, as the interim Black Paladin deserved to know what was muddling Lance’s brain just in case it started messing with Voltron. So of course, he couldn’t help but explain to Keith why he was there. Six Paladins, five lions...one paladin not being as talented than the others. Who needed to be subtracted was a relatively easy guess, he might not be the best at math but even he could see that in this war...the needed the best of the best to be out there. If that meant he had to step down...he would. Whatever it takes to make it back to his family safely. Whatever it took to win this war, he’d do it in a heartbeat. 

And just like he expected, Keith handled the situation in the most Keith way.

_ “Leave the math to Pidge”  _

That echoed in his mind as he found himself looking at the stars in that hallway again. 

_ “Stop worrying about who flies what and just focus on your missions.” _

Of course, he could say that….it was easier for Keith to push everything else away. He felt himself getting angry at Keith but, only for a moment. It was how Keith coped...Keith was telling him to just focus on what he could do now. As in...maybe he wasn’t completely useless and  _ had  _ been doing something. 

_ "Things will work themselves out.” _

Maybe….maybe Keith was onto something. Sure...it wasn’t anything like his Mamá’s advice or his Abuelita and her caring touches or his sister’s tough love but...it was  _ something _ . Something that was more than he’d gotten in a long time. He let out a sigh, sitting himself as close to the window as he could and just staring out into the ocean of stars in front of him. “Los extraño mucho...pero voy a regresar, no me cuenten con las estrellas...por favor. (I miss you guys so much….I’ll be back, don’t count me with the stars...please)” he hadn’t meant to say it out loud….there was a pleading tone in his voice and he hadn’t expected it. He felt like he was nine years old all over again and as tears welled up at the corner of his eyes, he imagined his grandmother singing along to the strums of his guitar after asking if he knew the cords to a song that she swore was now her anthem. 

He could see the same song being dedicated to him. A different tone...a different meaning because it was a different type of love but still the feeling remained. His voice carried in the empty hallway, echoing ever so slightly and he found himself craving his guitar. Fingers plucked at imaginary strings as he closed his eyes and lost himself in song

“Te extraño más que nunca y no sé que hacer (I miss you more than ever and I don’t know what to do”  His voice was shaky...tense so, he sucked in a breath and counted to five. Abuelito had taught him that, confidence was key and even if you had none...smile like you did and no one would know the difference. That’d become a sort of...motto for Lance. Fake it til you make it and...well he’d made it all the way to space. That’s pretty damn far, right? But...what this really what was destined for him? His Abuelito believed he was destined for greater things than working in his family’s shop….but was this something he ever imagined?

“Despierto y te recuerdo al amanecer (I wake up in the morning and remember you)”  He never thought himself much of a singer….but his Abuelito was. He was a music man but, he never did anything more than perform for his family and make up silly songs about whatever it was they were doing. Doing chores had always been fun with Abuelito and...after his passing Lance had taken it upon himself to keep doing it. To keep his spirit alive? Or was it more him trying to emulate the man he admired? He was remembering them more often...lying awake at night with nothing but the sound of the beat up guitar that was passed down to him clouding his mind. One of the strings was never in tune, parts of it were held together with duct tape but, it was precious. It was a memory, not meant to be played anymore but instead, meant to be displayed and talked about during family events.

“Espera otro día por vivir sin ti (Another day of living without you waits) ” God, he was so homesick...He wanted to take off to Earth and tell them he was fine. That he hadn’t just dropped off the face of the Earth with no reason...that he was actually doing _something_. He wondered if they were fine….of course, they were going to look for him but how much had he missed? What had the Garrison told his mother? Christ, did he really need to think about that right now? He was alive and his mother would forgive him if he made it back in one piece...so he had to survive. For them. For her. For his own sanity. He was never much of a fighter but, he’d be a soldier if it meant protecting his family….he’d be anything if it meant he got to come back home to them.

“El espejo no miente me veo tan diferente (the mirror doesn’t lie I look so different)” He didn’t? Did he? Sure...his body had more scars than when he left and emotionally...he was all over the place. God, what would his family say if they saw him? Probably call him an idiota (idiot) while pulling him into tight hugs. Yeah...yeah they would curse at him and smack him as relieved tears streaked their faces. _ “¡Nunca me hagas esto otra vez! ¡Pensé que estabas muerto! ¡Idiota! ¡Estúpido! Como se te ocurrió hacer algo tan ... tan peligroso!? Casi me matas! (Never do this to me again! I thought you were dead! Idiot! Stupid! How did you think to do something so...so dangerous? You almost killed me!)” _ He smiled at the thought, despite himself. The words just rang so clear in his head. Words that were always there when he did something stupid- like the time he broke his arm after trying to do some gymnast level move on the monkey bars. That was a fun time. The blue cast should still be in his old room, turned into a piggy bank and filled with coins….probably mostly pennies. 

“Me haces falta tu ( I need you)” Yes...he did… he felt himself start to cry freely. His throat closed and the rest of the song died with it. He didn’t even get through the whole thing but...he couldn’t bare with his thoughts anymore. He hadn’t realized how much he’d actually missed his family. He missed the nagging. The teasing that almost never ended. The nicknames that should be insults but, they were said with such a fond tone he didn’t care. He pulled his jacket tighter, trying to get its warmth trick his body into thinking he was being hugged.

It didn’t work.

He could hear his sniffles bouncing off the walls and figured it was loud enough that someone would find him. Lance quickly wiped his eyes with his sweater sleeves before standing and shoving his hands into his pockets. If he walked fast enough, he could probably miss anyone else trying to talk to him. He could escape safely to his room and cry himself to sleep. Yeah, that sounded like a plan. Hopefully, he could stop the waterworks long enough to do his skin care routine….Lance might be moping but, he still valued his routine. 

In his haste, Lance failed to notice the other body in the hallway with him. Pressed up against a pillar, holding his breath with moist eyes shut tight in an attempt to not be seen...was Keith. 

* * *

Keith hadn’t meant to spy. He hadn’t meant to follow the boy at all. He just...took a moment after Lance left to asses the situation. Had he dealt with it correctly? He didn’t know….but Lance came to him and the best he could do was tell him to  _ leave the math to Pidge _ ??? That hardly seemed like the right response to something like that. It wasn’t his fault! No one ever came  _ to him _ ! That was always Shiro’s job….Shiro would have handled it better. It took him a while to think of a Shiro-like answer but, when he found it he went looking for Lance.

First, he checked the Blue Paladin’s room and after knocking a couple times he realized that….maybe he wasn’t there. So, the hangars it was then. 

Nope.

_ Nothing _ . 

After asking Red if she had seen Lance, she admitted that she never really saw Lance unless they were training in their Lions.  _ Weird. Lance always comes here.  _ He thought maybe...he didn’t know his friend as well as he thought he did. Or...Lance went and got himself lost somewhere in the Castle. That wouldn’t surprise him, it wouldn’t be the first time either. Hopefully this time he stayed put and waited for someone to come to get him, unlike the last time where the team had to run around in circles before finally finding him. He’d laughed it off as the entire team had been damn near panicking. Well, Hunk  _ had _ panicked and Lance had just waved him off, promising never to do it again as Hunk crushed him into the bear hug.

Lance was…. _ something else _ . He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his lips because, as much as Lance irked him...he wasn’t a bad guy. Obnoxious as hell, yes but….a terrible person, no. Not by a long shot. He’d brought him into his circle of friends and made Keith feel like he was actually part of this weird space family they apparently had going on. He knew that flight crews often referred to each other as such but, he’d never expected to  _ feel _ it. He had found it cheesy and something that he’d never find but, Lance had brought it to him. He could joke with Pidge freely, receive hugs from Hunk and not feel like he didn’t know what to do and he could talk to Lance about things he...never really told anyone because he knew that Lance listened. He always listened. To everyone, no matter how small the problem may seem and even if it wasn’t a problem. Lance, Keith had figured out, was much like a glue that held all of Voltron together. Someone that picked up the pieces and placed them back with encouraging words and an unbelievable amount of optimism. He deserved the same treatment back. 

A treatment Keith felt sorry he couldn’t give him but, maybe he could help him find it. Encourage him to talk to Hunk or maybe have him open up to Shiro since, the whole team seemed adamant on Shiro being some sort of Space Dad (Keith still saw him as just his brother but….he really couldn’t deny that there was truth in their statements. He'd been on the receiving end of his  _ ‘I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed’ _ face enough to know there was plenty of truth to the statement.). 

It was in this thought process that Keith heard a murmur. Words he couldn’t understand but, he’d heard Lance break into Spanish from excitement before to recognize some of the accented syllables. He was sure it was Lance’s voice too….not that he could instantly pick up on the sound of his voice, it was just a hard voice to miss- the guy really never stopped talking so...it was hard to not have the way it sounded engraved into his brain. Whatever he said was low….quiet and sad, not like Lance at all. Well, not like the usual Lance. Happy Lance. Actually kind of annoying but, it was okay because he meant well Lance. Maybe his words hadn’t helped Lance….he hadn’t expected them to. Honestly, he just hoped his words hadn’t hurt Lance even more. He knew he had the tendency to be blunt and that part of him tended to do more harm than good. He was going to approach him, maybe put a hand on his shoulder like Shiro had done to him so many times in the past and offer to listen. But, before his foot could finish its step forward….Lance was saying something again. 

He was singing. 

Keith couldn’t tell what he was saying but, he sounded sad and it didn’t last very long. Spanish...definitely Spanish...unless Lance managed to learn another language in his free time, he was sure those were the only two languages Lance knew how to speak. Then again...Lance could be surprising like… right now. He had no idea Lance could actually sing pretty well….but, now wasn’t the time to think about that. Keith knew Lance missed his family and felt like he had no place on the team now that Shiro was back….and something told him that was what all this was about. And by something, it was the fact that Lance had literally told him as much while they were talking in his room and the fact that Lance talked about his family a lot when they hung out at the hangars.

He really had no idea what Lance was saying but….there was feeling in what he was singing. Notes that carried such raw emotion that couldn’t be faked. Keith knew music, it was something that filled up the lonely silence and expressed feelings he himself could never bring to the surface. He wasn’t the most well versed in music but, he knew there were certain voice cracks and tells that were impossible to fake unless the singer had some deep connection with what they were saying. Keith could tell Lance was expressing that….a deep sadness. It was something that he wanted to say was very un-Lance but, the way he saw Lance in front of him made Keith realize it was all too Lance-like. It was Lance at his core. 

He suddenly felt like he'd interrupted a private moment….but he couldn't bring himself to leave just yet. It wasn't that he  _ wanted _ to see Lance cry. No...seeing Lance cry was actually  _ hurting him too _ . Is that a Space Family thing? He'd never really been empathetic but, right now...well seeing his friend hurting was hurting him too.

He felt himself tear up as he listened to what few lines Lance had managed to let out before he started sobbing. Each muffled sniffle tugged at Keith’s heartstrings, the way Lance held himself reminded him of the nights following his father’s death where Keith had struggled to fall asleep in a strange new house with blankets that smelled nothing like home wrapped tightly around him. It reminded him of the many nights before Shiro where he would try to go to sleep just to see if he woke up that morning to find it was all a dream. To find that his Dad wasn't dead or that his Mom had coke looking for him. It reminded him of the nights he prayed to a God he didn't believe in because, if he truly loved everyone then maybe he could give Keith a tiny piece of that. 

Lance was seeking comfort and Keith wished he could give it to him because he knew that Lance wouldn’t hesitate had he been in his shoes. He just….didn’t know how to and he’d never resented that part of himself more. Then Lance stood and Keith froze. 

Lance wouldn’t want to be seen like this. He already felt weak enough so, Keith hid...it was the least he could give him-his pride. Lance had already given him so much, he deserved this at the least.  He closed his eyes, held his breath and hoped Lance was just too focused on leaving to really notice his presence.

It  _ worked _ .

Surprisingly, it  _ actually worked _ . 

And here he was mentally praising Lance for being so damn observant...but if he hadn't noticed Keith then...something was definitely wrong. He was sure he just hiding in plain sight. 

Lance rushed past him and Keith could hear his steps pattering down the hallway. He felt cowardly for not being able to help his friend….if there was only a way to help him. Keith got to thinking, making his way back to his room….he could talk to Hunk and ask him to make something special for Lance in the morning or organize an impromptu friend hangout but, that really didn’t solve the problem. What he did know was that he had the time off from his Blade duties the next couple days so….maybe he would make some time for Lance. He’d missed hanging out with everyone and by connection, that meant he missed Lance.

He’d never tell him that though….he was sure if he initiated some sort of contact, Lance would get the message. The guy was just too damn observant. He could already picture the smug smile on the other Paladin’s face as he sang  _ “Am I hearing this right? Mullet, did you actually miss me?”  _ and as much as he would say the opposite, the teasing would be worth it to get Lance feeling just a bit more like his normal self.

That would only be a temporary fix, wouldn’t it? 

Keith needed to find something more concrete. Something that would have a lasting effect. He juggled around ideas in his mind, absentmindedly playing with his mother’s blade. He twirled the luxite in between his fingers, turning it and slashing it before just idly running his fingers along the sharp edge of the blade. 

And then it hit him. It probably wasn’t a permanent fix...but….it  _ could _ work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone is wondering the whole stars story is actually based on something my family would tell me as a kid! I just think its a fun and neat concept (totally reminds me of The Lion King but I swear my family didn't get it from there). 
> 
> Also I might start updating twice a week? bc I'm going through writing chapters pretty fast. Wednesday and Saturday seems to be a good schedule for me.


	3. So How Do We Win?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance talk.  
> Lance is still sad and Keith has a plan...will it work though?

Keith was losing his touch. He was coming late from missions with the Blade and not keeping up with his promises or duties as the Black Paladin. Lance was concerned. The fact that Shiro seemed annoyed with Keith concerned him even more.

 He'd either landed himself in some kind of alternate universe where Keith wasn't annoyingly perfect and Shiro didn't have the patience of a wise old man or something was wrong. He settled on the latter…he'd know if he was in a different universe, right? Besides...there'd be another him and he hadn't run into any of those so….yeah, definitely in the same universe and something was wrong with a teammate..or two of them? Maybe Shiro was just grumpy….he'd been through a lot and that was understandable but, Keith….Keith never let what was bothering him hold him back. He usually let it fuel him.

 Lance had already been considering talking to Keith when he missed the show they were supposed to be putting on. Sure, Keith might have thought it was stupid and didn't see it as necessary but, he wouldn't have just blown it off. He thought so anyway. He'd like to think he knew Keith and the Keith he knew cared about Voltron. Even if he acted grumpy all the time so….him missing an important Voltron event was the last straw. Even Pidge and Hunk were starting to get worried. He'd been sitting in the common room, trying to figure out the best way to approach the situation when he let out a loud groan. Pidge looked up from her computer, pushing up her glasses before facing Lance... it was the first time they all had a chance to hang out in weeks and of course...his mind was somewhere else.

 “Stop whining and just go talk to him”

 “Pidge, it's not that easy. Why don't you go talk to him?” His tone was defensive, he knew that but, he looked to Hunk anyway in hope that his best friend would back him up. Tell him he was in the right for not just pulling Keith away the moment he landed.

 “Our talks are strictly about aliens and cryptids. You know this. It's a sacred bond I'm not going to crossover with all this feelings talk. That's more your department anyway” She says, waving her hand at him dismissively before going back to working on her laptop.

 “My department?” Was that an insult? He didn't know but...he felt insulted anyway “I'll have you know that Hunk is very into the whole talking about feelings thing too. Why am I the designated Keith whisperer anyway? We're all his friends….we can do a group thing! Intervention!”

 “Do you really think that'll work with Keith? I just think...he responds better when it's just you, buddy. Sure, I can make him some cookies and offer him a hug but I'm like 95 percent sure he'd take it and say thanks” Lance let out another long sigh once Hunk was done talking, draping himself across his lap. “You're his right hand anyway. That's kinda part of the job description”

 “But why me?” he says, groaning and draping his arm across his face. Yeah...sure he wanted to go talk to Keith but, now there was pressure. The team _expected_ him to help. What if he failed? What if he couldn't get Keith back on his A game?

 “Stop being dramatic and go” Pidge says, turning her laptop towards them where a video feed of Keith training was playing “He's in the training room anyway”

 “You set up cameras?” He sounded surprised, but he….really wasn't. It was Pidge after all.

 “Just in the training deck so we can review training sessions and see what went wrong or what works. No mics though, figured none of us want to hear a playback on our voices” she says like it was the most obvious answer as she closed her laptop. “It was Shiro’s idea. Hunk and I got to installing them last week”

 “...yeah yeah. Whatever, just dont use it for anything weird” Lance says, admitting defeat he got off Hunks lap and stood up “See you guys later” With a small wave, he was gone.

 “10 bucks says they kiss” Pidge says with a snicker after Lance was gone and out of earshot.

 “This one of your weird shipping things again? Because, that did _not_ end well for your whole Shay and me theory” Hunk says, hand out to take the bet anyway “But, you're on.”

 “Hey, was I right or was I right about your little crush on her” she smirks, shaking their hands once their palms were connected. Hunk refused to answer but, the darkening of his cheeks was enough. “Lance needs this as much as he does anyway”

 “Yeah...he does.”

* * *

Lance made his way to the training deck, wondering exactly what he could say to Keith that wouldn't blow this whole thing out of proportion. Before he had a clear enough mind, he was already at the door and it was sliding open to reveal Keith. He was still training, breathing heavily and drenched in sweat as he continued to dodge blows from the robots surrounding him. His usual fire wasn't in his eyes and he looked...tired. Lance shook his head, picking up a towel and a pouch of space juice from the supply corner Coran had installed for their “human needs”....which basically meant he didn't want them in the kitchen while they were all sweaty and was tired of mopping up drops of sweat that occasionally trailed after them. Keith hadn't noticed him yet but, once the robots seemed too close for comfort, he called it “End training sequence!”

 The commotion disappeared and a look of confusion took over Keith's face. Then it was replaced with a scowl “I had that!” He was raising his voice, yes but….they could both tell there wasn't any real anger behind it. There was never really any anger between them anymore, most things were just meant to annoy the other or were quickly forgiven when they took into account the other meant well. 

 “No you didn't, Samurai. Totally just saved your mullet there, you should be thanking me” he says, tossing the towel at his face “I shoulda just let them give it a little trim”

 If Keith had said something, it was muffled under the towel patting against his face. The towel was then wrapped around his shoulders as he picked a hair tie off his wrist to pull his hair back in a messy ponytail to keep Lance from making any more hair comments. “Whatever, you done insulting me? Because I'd like to get back to training”

 “Oh no, you don't, Mullet. You look tired as heck. Here” he says, marching over as he made a show of sticking the straw into the juice pouch and handing it to Keith “Take it easy will ya? How long have you been at this?”

Keith shrugged but...thankfully he took a sip from the pouch, eyes lighting up a bit. He really liked those things apparently and Lance resisted the urge to laugh. It reminded him of his niece, Natalia and how no matter what was happening, a Capri Sun seemed to save the day. “Everyone's worried about you, ya know. You're kinda messing up your image as the cool, calm and collected leader” he was teasing, just a bit but the look on his face showed there was truth to his statement.

 “I've….just had a lot on my mind”

 “.....I know the feeling but, you can't fight whatever's bothering you away. You gotta talk to us man”

This was the Lance Keith was expecting. He wanted to yell at him _“what about you!?”_  but, that would not solve anything. Lance didn't know that he knew to what extent he was hurting...it was all kind of a mess. So, Keith nodded “I know….just not used to it I guess”

 “I know but, you'll get used to it. You have the team to help you out now and like my Mamà used to say: _Dios aprieta pero no ahorca_ ” Keith blinked at him and Lance chuckled a bit “God squeezes but he doesn't choke...basically, life doesn't give you anything you can't handle” he was walking out now “Come on, I don't think the training decks a good place for a heart to heart. Plus….Pidge has cameras in here and she's gotta be watching right now” he adds in a whisper, Keith nods and follows but...not before looking around the room to see if he could spot the camera.

 He couldn't.

The two made their way to the hangers, just out of habit as the conversation still flowed between them “Your mom….she sounds really...wise” He knew it came out as awkward as it felt but...Lance didn't mind. At least they were talking and, even thought he wouldn’t admit it out loud...he really missed their talks where the words just seemed to flow out and neither of them had to really worry about what they were saying.

“Yeah….she is. Probably why I hear her voice in the back of my head everytime I feel...She's just a voice if reason, ya know. “

“When you feel what?” Keith's eyebrow arched and Lance tried not to flinch….things just slipped out when he talked to Keith. He couldn't help it. He couldn’t help actually explaining himself either. It was times like this he wished he could just close himself off like Keith did when he felt like Lance pushed a little too far. Lance was just too trusting. He always had been and it had backfired on him one toom any times. That was a different story though...many different stories actually. But, something about this felt _different_. 

“I don't know...not good enough? Whenever something would happen, she'd pick me back up. I could tell her anything and it wasn't a problem because she loves me and that's what mattered. I think it's just a mom thing...to be a comforting presence“

Keith nodded...he knew what that felt like, at least to a certain extent. His dad was like that...and Shiro was almost like that. For the most part. It couldn't be different from what he knew. “Must be nice”

“Shoot sorry...I know the whole mom thin-”

 “Don't worry about it. My dad was the same….when he was alive. I could tell him anything and Shiro’s kinda the same just...not as much. He's more like a brother”

Keith never talked about his dad, so it surprised Lance. He knew he was dead...he didn't know why or when but he knew that much. “...it doesn't have to stop now that he's gone. It might be kinda stupid and I keep bringing up my Mamà but….she always said death wasn't the end. The people who you love and love you are always in here” his hand hovered over his chest, right above his heart as they made it into the hangers “I talk to my Abuelito all the time….in my head sometimes or out loud cos, he was a big part of my life and it's not that I don't want to let go. It's just nice to think part of him is still here and seeing what I'm doing” 

Keith nodded, not really knowing how to respond so he took a moment to take a seat on Red’s paw “That….that isn't stupid. It's...nice. I never thought of it like that. If its like that...then Pa’s probably yelling at me to stop and get some rest.”

“Pa?” Lance asks, copying the small bit of emphasis on the a that made it sound more like he was saying ‘paw’

“....sorry. Texas...has a way of just clinging to you, no matter how much you try to get away” Keith admits, he wasn't ashamed of it...it was just kinda hard to admit. It'd taken him a while to get rid of the accent as a kid but, sometimes it would come back when he let his guard slip. He’d gotten enough shit for it in the foster homes...sure his father’s parents were from Korea but, his father was born and raised in Texas and the accent was inevitable. It made sense that Keith had developed it too but….kids his age had just seen it as weird. A reason to pick on him once he was moved into the system. It was never good to stick out in those places….but, Keith stook out like a sore thumb for more reasons than one. He tried his best to eliminate reasons. 

“....you’re from Texas” The grin on Lance’s face could be heard, Keith didn't even have to look at him to visualize the teasing grin that had spread itself on Lances face.

“Is that a problem?”

“Nope, nope it's not….cowboy” Lance snickered, earning himself a smack upside the head. He rubbed at the spot, acting like it hurt more than it really had. In reality...it couldn't even qualify as a smack but well...Lance had a flair for dramatics. Not to mention the whole ordeal reminded him of arguing with his cousins and siblings back home….a lot of Keith reminded him of home. _Nope, nope not going there. Be gone thoughts._ “Sorry, sorry. I couldn't help it. I just...wouldn’t have guessed”

“I kinda lost the accent when I was younger...after my Dad passed. Made things easier”

“Easier?” Keith froze for a second…Yes, he could tell Lance everything now but...as much as he wanted to, he didn’t need pity right now or the ‘I’m sorry’ or the apologetic look that was sure to come with telling him. It’d make everything else he needed to say that much harder.

“Level five, McClain, Level five” He teases, smirking a bit when Lance’s grin dropped into a small pout. It brought Keith some sort of happiness in knowing that Lance wanted to know things about him that badly. More so that he seemed to want to know it _from him_ , even though he could easily bug Shiro about it….though he was pretty certain Shiro wouldn’t tell him a thing, nothing was stopping him from trying. The reasons why….well, he didn't want to explore those. Not yet...or ever. Yeah, never was preferable. 

“Come on! I have to be at least level five already” Lance wasn’t proud of the whining tone to his voice, nor was he proud of the way he huffed and crossed his arms across his chest like an overgrown kindergartener. What he was proud of was the snort he got from Keith because of it and the immediate flush that rushed to his cheeks after realizing the sound had come from him “Oh my god! You snorted!”

“Shut up!”

“The great Keith SNORTED” He sang, making Keith’s flush deepen and his laugh louder. It was precious. He missed moments like this where the heavy tone of their talks would turn into light hearted banter. He missed getting lost in the moment to the point that he forgot where they were for a second. Right now, that was one of those moments.

Until he felt a pair of hands shoving him and his bottom sliding off the paw of the Red Lion. Lance let out an incredibly high pitched noise that he didn’t even know his voice could reach which was followed by an even louder snort from Keith. The two were laughing so hard that Lance didn’t even bother getting up from the floor “You...you did it...again!” he wheezed, clutching his stomach with one hand as he wiped at tears with the other.

“Shut...up!” the strain in his voice showing that he was trying to hold back another snort “At..at leas..t I… dont… sound like… a..lit..tle girl!” With Keith’s laughter ringing through his ears, lance couldn’t help but lose himself in laughter even more. His face was flushed, both from the realization of the unbearably high pitched yelp he had produced and the lack of oxygen that came with laughing. When he opened his eyes to look at Keith...well he didn’t seem much better. His head was tilted back, body doubled over and his arms were wrapped around his middle.  Before he or Lance knew what was going on, Keith was also slipping. His fell on the floor beside Lance, a look of confusion spreading on his face as Lance cackled.

The two stayed that way for a while, Keith had dissolved into laughter a moment after his confusion. Their cheeks burned from smiling so hard, ribs hurting as they gasped for breath and eyes were stained with tears. Lance turned to face Keith once he'd finally calmed down enough to talk “Did I move up a level now?”

Keith playfully shoved a hand in his face “Sure, you're level three now. Happy?”

“If I say no, do I get to move up another level?" 

“No”

“....well it's still a no,” he says, moving the hand away from his face “I get it though, move at your own pace. A quien espera, su bien le llega- ah sorry. That's something my Abuelita used to say, it basically means that if you wait good things will come.” Keith had figured that Spanish was something that connected Lance back to his family...it would make sense that he'd be speaking it more often now.

“You miss them a lot, huh? ...your family?” Keith was glad that the topic was off of him now but...he was sad to see their moment gone. Who knows how long they'd laughed for but, here they were. On the floor, hurting a bit but basking in the glow of a laughing session.

“Yeah...not to get all depressing but, they're my everything. I'm kinda...upset I never got to say goodbye, ya know? And...I can't help it. I'm not doing anything here and at least...back home there was always someone that needed me” Lance wasn't looking at Keith anymore, he was still facing him but...he just couldn't bring himself to look at Keith while saying it.

“....Voltron needs you too, Lance” It came out more firm than Keith had intended but the words had just rolled off his tongue. Lance stared at him, a bit wide eyed as he opened his mouth to speak again.

“I mean...Shiro’s back...you're probably itching to get back in Red and it wouldn't make sense to put me back in Blue, ya know? Now that Allura is there and she's doing so much better than I ever could. She's amazing” he trailed off, eyes meeting Keith's. His brows were furrowed like he has something to say but didn't know how. Lance thought Keith made that face a lot like he was constantly in battle over what was the best word choice….at least around him.

“Yeah...that's kind of what's been bugging me. Don't get me wrong, I love Red...I just think...maybe there's something else I could do with the Blade. There's so many half-Galras there...and I think I need to figure out what me being that means for me” _And I want you to feel like you have a place too_. He held his tongue, he didn't want Lance to misunderstand his actions as pity on him. He had anything but pity towards Lance. He brought his eyes over the other boy’s face and studied his expression.

He was shocked. His mouth was pressed into a thin line, eyebrows furrowed and eyes searching...probably for a sign of a joke. Keith stared back, trying to show he was serious but he knew his uncertainty was seeping through. “You wanna go to the Blade….full time?” he asks, voice a little quiet. It was almost like he was trying to keep the whole thing a secret. 

“Yeah...not forever but...just until I figure this out. My mom was one of them...I’m curious about it. I’ve been going on missions with them a lot and I feel like I’m going a lot more than I am here...and maybe…” he quieted, saying he wanted to find her-his mother or see if she was still alive out loud wasn't something he wanted to do. He didn't want to admit that Lance's predicament just gave him more of a reason to do what his mind was already screaming at him. If he joined the Blade….maybe he could find out _why_ she left.

“Maybe you can find her?” Lance finished with a softened expression. It wasn't pity...more like understanding. Lance wasn't going to tell him the plan was stupid or that he was bound to get himself hurt or that he was making a big mistake because more than anyone Lance understood family and its importance. If put in Keith's shoes...he'd have been gone a long time ago

Keith nodded, still not wanting to admit the plan with words. Something about Lances expression gave him confidence though...it made him feel like he was in the right. He was justified. He wasn't being rash and impulsive. Sure, he’d come to a decision recently but, the idea had dawned on him when he first past the test and maybe...Lance was giving him the out he needed but, he really believed this could help Lance. If he left, Lance would still see himself as a necessary part of the team. “You...can just say it'll be good for missions to have someone on the inside. It'll probably make the Blade trust us a lot more, right? I'm...guessing you haven't told Shiro yet and...if you did he probably didn't like it and told you to think about it, right?”

Keith nodded again. He'd told Shiro, of course, he had. He thought Shiro would back him up and understand but...he’d instead accused him of running away from something. For the first time...Keith was running _to_ something and he wasn't just thinking of himself. He'd thought it out, maybe not completely but...he still felt like this was different from all the other times he'd made decisions “Patience yields focus, if you keep going your skills as a leader will develop and you'll see what I see” he says in his best Shiro voice, smiling when it earned a snicker from Lance. 

“Sounds about right….” he let out a sigh, tapping his fingers against the hard floor “I'd say go for it, dude. If that's what your hearts telling you, go for it. Maybe you'll find out stuff about your mom, maybe you won't but...at least no te vas a quedar con las ganas”

“No translation this time?” Lance panicked for a second before realizing that Keith's tone of voice was that of amusement and not annoyance.

“Sorry, sorry. I've just speaking a lot of Spanish lately...helps with the homesickness” Keith nodded, waiting for Lance translate “At least you won't be left with the want. No what ifs cos you went out there and tried to figure it out. If it's a bust, then at least you went out there”

“Mom's advice again?” He was teasing and Lance was grateful for it. He wasn't reprimanding him or reminding him that they all had something...when left to his own thoughts, it was easy to invalidate himself but right now, he felt valid.

“Abuelitos actually. I was really young when he told me that but it always stuck. Sure, my Mamàs probably said it too but, I hear his voice when I think about it.” Lance was smiling, small but it was there. He seemed to light up when he talked about his family….maybe it was best to keep it going.

“Sounds like a good man” Keith was smiling now too.

“The best actually” A grin, genuine and happy as he thought about his grandfather. He'd grown up idolizing the man...even if his uncles turned into new inspirations of life...his grandfathers was still number one.

“....Wanna talk about him?” Lance was shocked, so was Keith and he was the one that asked. Maybe it was because he didn’t want to stop talking. Even if it was on the cold floor in front of their shared Lion...talking like this was nice.

“You...you don't have to listen. It's fine. He's in here, remember” he says, bringing his hand to hover over his chest with a smile. He was giving Keith an out...a way to keep him from knowing how broken inside he really felt.  

“...I want to know. I'll...I'll uh...tell you about my dad” he offers, voice smaller than he intended. A moment passed as they just stared into each other's eyes, trying to gauge exactly what the other was thinking. Lances grin had dropped, both their lips pressed into thin lines as they tried to see if either of them had messed up. If they had crossed a line in this friendship that made the other uncomfortable. It was impossible to tell and completely inaccurate but, still, they searched.

Lances lip suddenly curled up “Does that mean I'm level five now?”

“Nope” Keith says, popping the ‘p’ with a grin. Lance pouted again and Keith let out a chuckle “Level four, for sure though”

That shouldn't have made Lance as happy as it did but, he felt warmth bubble up inside of him and spread throughout his body. “Awesome! I'm gonna go all the way, just you watch Mullet. I'm gonna be level five before you know it!” Keith laughed, rolling his eyes dismissively and waited for Lance to continue. “You sure you really want to hear this stuff?”

“Yeah, why not? I might leave for the Blade soon..so we might not see each other for a while. Promise not to tell anyone if you cry” he shrugged the best he could while on the floor and hoped his voice came out more sure than he felt about the whole things. For some reason, he felt nervous about admitting he wanted to hear Lance talk about his family and...that he wanted Lance to know about his.

“I know you're just kidding but, I might man. I just might” he lets out a sigh, turning so he was facing the ceiling. “I...was nine when my Abuelito passed away. He was my Mamà’s dad. He taught me a lot...not just life lessons from his crazy stories about living back in Cuba or how he came to America. When I was young we moved back to Cuba for a while, cos he missed it and he wanted me to see it with him. I kinda think that...he knew his time was coming...in some weird way? Anyway, he...loved music. The man could sing and play the guitar and you could just _feel_ _him_. He taught me to play at around...five years old? Back in Cuba...I spent a lot of time with him then, just messing around and learning things he did. I actually look a lot like he did when he was my age”

“...how did he?” the question died in Keith's throat, he just couldn't stop staring at Lance. There was a certain look in his eyes when he started talking about his family. It was far off like he wasn't even there next to him anymore.

“Cancer. Took him fast too. We buried him in Cuba like he wanted and came back to the states...better education for me and my siblings. It's what he wanted, always said I wasn't meant to work in the family's shop. We go back every Summer though...and I help out. No matter what...working with family has always been nice.”

“Guess he wasn't wrong”

“Guess not” his smile was faint but, it was there and Keith could feel himself smiling too. “I just...can't stop thinking...if I could be half the man he was….ya know?”

Keith nodded as Lance turned to look at him, eyes wet with tears he hadn't even noticed. “Yeah...my dad was a superhero. To me anyway...he was a firefighter so...probably to a bunch of other people too. He died on the job….big burning house and his team said they told him not to go in but, he swore he heard someone in there. They made it out but...he didn't. He gave them his oxygen mask and a way out. He tried to get out but, he'd just gone in. No plan for after besides saving someone”

“Sounds impulsive, like you”   

It was Keith's turn to tear up...Lance was teasing but the comment actually meant something. It meant a lot. His throat closing up as he remembered the moments that came after his father’s passing. How it felt to fall asleep alone for the first time in eight years.“I was mad at him for a long time….but, my dad was a hero. Everyone loved him and he loved everyone too. At home...he was a big goofball. Cooking with him always ended up in a big mess...He taught me about hard work I guess...just getting your hands dirty and making something from the ground up. We built a couple things and sold them off for some extra cash…”

Keith trailed off and they just stared at each other. Eyes wet but, a calmness stirred through them. Lance reached up and wiped Keith's eyes with his sweater sleeve before wiping his own “Jesus…we're just cry babies today, aren't we?” Keith laughed a bit, not bothering to correct Lance since...he hadn’t really cried. “Thanks, man. I needed this”

“Me too…” Neither of them moved. It wasn't awkward but, Keith realized….this was the first time he'd talked about his dad since the funeral. He hadn't spoken a word about him since he was a small eight year old staring into the void of a hole they were slowly lowering his father into.

“Keith?” Lance’s voice was soft and the look in his eyes was even softer “Good luck out there. I know your dad did the self-sacrifice thing...but, we need you to come back to us. Okay?”

“Yeah...okay” He opened his mouth to say something else but, the moment was interrupted by footsteps. Keith slowly trailed his line of sight from Lance’s confused face to the doors.

“I told you they were being gay in here” It was Pidge, a smug look on her face as she looked down at the two boys with her arms crossed. Hunk stood by her side with an apologetic look but...it did nothing to stop the reddening in Keith’s cheeks. Lance had already shot up, sitting up looking flustered. 

“We aren’t being gay! Just having some Bro Time!” His voice had gone up an octave and he knew it but...it was just because they’d been caught in a moment. They both had just gotten a little personal so...of course he felt all weird! Pidge could have heard him talking and could have teasing fuel against him! That was totally not fair! It definitely had nothing to do with the fact that them barging in made him realize just how close he had gotten to Keith, physically. Sure...he wanted to get close to the guy but he meant emotionally. _Sometimes what we want isn't necessarily what we get. WAIT, no don't just accept this._

“Bro Time? Sounds pretty gay to me” He was brought out of his thoughts by Pidge. She was snickering now, obviously proud of herself and Lance gave Keith an exasperated look. He was mentally yelling at him: _She’s gonna make it weird if you don’t say something! Anything!_ Though, Keith didn’t seem to get the message.

“It’s not gay! Hunk and I have Bro Time all the time, right Hunk? Tell her!” Hunk raised his eyebrow, looking from the scene in front of him and back to Pidge “Hunk, buddy...come on! Don’t let her make this weird with that big brain of hers!” 

“You’re...kinda making this weird yourself” Hunk says, looking back at Pidge who was still grinning like she’d just hit the jackpot.

“I didn’t know you were into Bro Time too Hunk, must be fun. Maybe the three of you can have Bro Time _together_ ” she taunts, grin widening as she heard Hunk groan and the flush on Lance’s face darken.

“....I..don’t get it” Finally, Keith said something but it was _that_. Lance couldn’t help but laugh. He tried to stop but, it bubbled through him and threw itself against the other two Paladins standing across from them until they were laughing with him, leaving Keith confused, brows furrowed and searching the other three for the joke. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, Mullet. Nothing at all” Lance says, calming his giggles with a cough. If Keith didn’t get it, he didn’t need to and...in some weird way it was kind of...endearing? that he didn’t know exactly what Pidge was insinuating. It was also a relief...a huge relief.

“You guys are hopeless. Come on, Hunk made cookies and I set up the TV. It’s been a while since the last movie night...figured tonight was good since, I think this is the first time we’re all free” Pidge says, motioning for the boys to follow her out the door. Lance looked over at Keith, who had apparently already stood. The two smiled at each other before Keith extended his hand out to help Lance stand. Once he dusted himself off, the two were out of the hangars and following their friends to the common room. 

Things were definitely going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keith felt a little ooc while writing this but hey, that's just how it goes right? Idk man. Hoped you enjoyed!  
> This chapter was originally a lot longer but, it was getting a little too long for me to post like- it would have been fine but, I think it flows better broken up?


	4. A Dumb Screenshot of Youth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little typical teen joking around stuff.  
> Lance shows Keith the magical world of texting and a group chat is formed.

Time was ticking until D Day...well not really, Lance was just being dramatic. Keith was planning on officially stepping down as leader of Voltron later that week. Shiro had been able to reconnect with the Black Lion, which lead to Keith speaking to Shiro about his decision again. This time...Shiro seemed a little more understanding-according to what Keith had told him. The guy had basically hurried to tell Lance immediately after talking to Shiro.

It was actually kind of funny, it'd been later in the night...probably closer to whatever hour classified as morning on the spaceship (Allura had made Coran set clocks for the Paladins in hope that everyone would manage to get decent rest….it proved right for most of them-Pidge still stayed up til God knows when working on….something. Hunk had been joining her that particular night but, Lance had turned in early in fear that he was distracting them too much). Lance had opened the door in his robe, hair wet and face mask applied. It was a restless night, to say the least, and he was trying to relax in some way.

“....what's that on your face?” Keith had a hand on his hip, head cocked to the side with an amused expression.

“A face mask. Wasn't exactly expecting visitors right now, buddy” He had replied, crossing his arms in front of him and moving to the side to let Keith in.

“It looks like guac” Keith says, walking past Lance with a snicker. They'd gotten a lot more comfortable with each other since their talk in the hangars. Lance would definitely consider Keith a best friend at this point...sure he hadn't known him as long as he'd known Hunk but, it was just as easy to talk to him.

“Oh my god, Keith. It's not guac” he says, stifling the laugh that bubbled in his chest with a huff. “It's what keeps my skin so beautiful”

“You sure it's working then?” Like usual, there was no malice in his taunts. Lance couldn't even bring himself to be properly offended. It took a lot out of him not to laugh...a joking Keith meant a relaxed Keith and that...that was an extremely relieving thing.

“How dare you! My skin routine is sacred and works wonders!” he gasps, placing his hand over his heart dramatically. “If you're just here to mock me then shoo, some of like rest ya know. Plus it's about time to wash this off” He picked a towel off his bed and headed towards his bathroom, turning the faucet on when he reached the sink.

“I...actually wanted to talk to you sorry”

“ ‘S cool. Figured you weren't just here for funsies” he says, looking over to find Keith standing in the doorway. He bent to start washing his face mask off, trying not to revel in the fact that there was something so incredibly domestic and natural feeling.

“I talked to Shiro again. About joining the Blade and leaving Black to him again. He actually seemed okay with it. I'm supposed to give him an official answer next week but, I'm still pretty set on it”

“Really? He's cool now?” Lance asked, muffled by the towel patting against his face. He moved the towel from his eyes, looking at Keith in the doorway. _God this is so...coupley? Jesus no, Hunk’s done the same thing before. It's not different. But...if Pidge saw this- no stop. She isn't going to see this so it's fine. Don't think about it_ **_that_ ** _way._

“He still gave me a talk about it… the whole ‘You know Keith, you don't have to do this. Voltron still needs you and you'll always have a place here. If this is about not feeling good enough as a leader, you just need time to hone your skills and let yourself expand. Black let you in for a reason’...which, I get. I really get it. But...you know” He was fiddling with the hem of his shirt now and Lance noticed he wasn't wearing his signature jacket. He was still looking at Lance, eyes soft and looking weirdly comfortable for being in a space he'd never invaded before. Lance couldn't help but think...Keith looked kind of... _adorable._ Adorable in a childlike sense, obviously...yeah...that was it.

“Yeah, I know.” he did, he understood Keith's want. Not only that but he supported it. The guy looked like he needed some time to figure himself out...finding out you were half the species that was constantly trying to kill them couldn't have been easy. Lance couldn't even begin to imagine it “So...officially this is your last week then? And the first thing you do is come see little ol’ me? I'm flattered”

“Well, I went to go see Pidge and Hunk but they were actually sleeping” He was joking, his hands stopped playing with his shirt just to land on his hips with a smirk “Don't flatter yourself, McClain”

“You're just saying that to hide the fact that you like me” he sang, putting an arm around Keith's shoulder “You like me and we're friendssss” He shimmied a bit, earning a laugh as Keith pulled away and retreated away from the doorway.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night”

“I'll sleep like a baby with this info” He had a week left of this banter...he wanted to milk it for all it was worth but, there were more pressing matters to talk about“You gonna wait to tell everyone though?”

“Maybe? I'm not sure...I was kind of wondering if we could put together one last movie night?” Lance had made his way to his bed, taking a seat and patting the bed for Keith to sit too. It seemed like whenever they got to talking...it went on for a while so, might as well be comfortable right?

“Don't say it like you'll never see us again, dude. It's a temp thing, right? There's gonna be plenty of movie nights after this” he waved a hand dismissively, picking up a pillow and tossing it Keith's way.”But...yeah, one of those, before you go, might do us all some good” Keith nodded, placing the pillow behind his back and took a seat at the foot of Lance’s bed so the two of them were facing each other “Hey, no shoes on my bed Mullet. What were you, raised in a barn?” he says, reaching for Keith’s legs but, he was too quick.   
  
“Yeah, actually” Keith says, already reaching to remove his shoes. Once, they were dropped onto the floor he swung his legs back onto the bed, sitting criss-cross and looking at Lance “There, happy?”

“Very” Lance nods, not bothering to ask for more clarification to the barn comment. As much as he wanted to know, Keith had started to have the tendency to just drop little tidbits of information in conversation. He’d be in the know eventually. Like, now he knew that Keith had never known his mother but he felt like getting to know her or of her would be beneficial to him...or that Shiro had kind of raised him at some point. It wasn't much, but the information was still something Lance held onto because Keith had _trusted_ him.“So, movie night right? We can tell the others tomorrow, that’ll give them a chance to plan a break from working. Want me to ask?”

“Please? Still feels kind of weird to ask for that kind of stuff…” Keith admits, playing with the velcro straps of his gloves. The soft unsticking noises were something Lance had grown accustomed to...it was odd to think he wouldn’t be hearing it for a while. It usually happened when Keith was deep in thought or when the lull in conversation made him nervous...right now it was probably just the newness that was making him anxious. Lance understood that he figured if messing with the velcro straps made Keith feel better without him realizing it then it wasn't worth bringing up“I should...probably talk to them more before leaving though”  
  
“Yeah, okay. I'll tell them but...you know, they like talking to you too...So, yeah. It's probably a good idea to talk to them so they don't think you went and forgot about them. It might feel weird but, at least catch up with them with the communicators. I doubt Kolivan’s gonna take that away. Just say it's for important business or something. Pidge is gonna be insufferable without you to talk about her weird conspiracy theories with” he jokes, picking the orange slab up off the table and opening up what resembled a messaging app “You know how to use it right?”

“....duh” He didn’t know how to but, he pulled out his from his back pocket anyway. He honestly didn’t know why he carried that thing around...it didn’t do anything of use...well no. He liked taking pictures of things when the rest of the team wasn’t looking. Nothing weird obviously, just creatures the encountered...the occasional picture of the group or scenes he was itching to replicate with pencils and pens. He had a few art supplies back at his shack so, the sketches he did here would be transformed with color once he got back. That’s what he was looking forward to when they got back to Earth. Not that anyone knew that...except Shiro of course.

“Mhm...so, send me a message than” Lance was teasing him now, mostly because Keith was staring at his communicator with the same puzzled expression he’d given Lance when he was trying to do the Voltron chant. Brows furrowed slightly, eyes piercing and wide as he stared at the orange screen in front of him...it was almost kind of cute the way he looked determined to figure the thing out, like staring at it would bring the knowledge to him. _Almost because it definitely_ **_wasn't_ ** _cute_.

“You're right in front of me, why would I do that?” His defensive tone earned him a laugh from Lance, he was glaring at him now with the same pensive stare. Lance was grinning, peering over to look at Keith’s communicator as if he was hiding something on it because it was pretty obvious Keith had no idea what to do. Keith promptly dropped it into his lap and crossed his arms in front of him “Shut up”   
  
“I didn’t say anything” he says smugly, picking up his own communicator and typing. Almost immediately there was a soft ding from Keith’s communicator, the orange-tinted screen lighting up with a notification.

 

> **_Lance_ ** **:** Welcome to the wonderful world of text messaging °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

Keith looked at Lance, who was urging him to answer back “This is pointless, you’re right in front of me” Lance pouts, opening up his app again but...this time he seemed to take a little longer. Keith was starting to get worried that he actually had upset Lance but, his chimed with yet another notification...and another...and then two more after that but, Lance had already set down his communicator on his lap. _Oh my god, did he message Shiro?_ He quickly opened up his the notification to find a group chat waiting for him with Hunk and Pidge.

 

> **_Chat- Hunk, Pidge, Lance, Keith_ **
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Hey guys guess what! Keith doesn't know how to use this so let's give him a big ol welcome! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°
> 
> **_Lance_ ** : He literally won't answer back my messages bc hes with me so maybe he'll answer you guys
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** so...you two are hanging out this late ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** I thought you went to bed like 3 hours ago bud??

Keith read the messages and looked up, to find Lance already responding. He didn’t feel like he had anything interesting to offer up to the conversation so..he decided to sit back and watch. Not Lance- he definitely wasn’t watching Lance and the way his eyes brightened every time he read a new name on the screen. He definitely didn’t notice how he would physically react to way was being said despite the other two in the chat not being able to see him. And he _definitely didn’t_  have to look down quickly when Lance started to lift his head. He’d been reading the conversation happening the entire time. He definitely hadn’t been so focused on not focusing that he failed to notice the soft click of a photo being taken.

 

> **_Lance:_ ** I couldn’t sleeeeep ( Ĭ ^ Ĭ )
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** And then Keith knocked so, here we are
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** I don’t follow but...OK??
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** He wanted to talk about something- oh right! He wanted to set up a movie night soon
> 
> **_Hunk:_**??? still not following but sounds cool! We should be done with the latest project in the next couple days
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** And I dunno about Pidge but I’m gonna want a break
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Pics or it didn’t happen
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** And yeah, movie night sounds great.
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Might fall asleep tho
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** [attached image]

Lance grinned to himself as he looked at the image in the group chat. Keith was just staring at the screen intently, eyes dead set on the glowing screen in front of him...it was kind of funny. It was almost like he was too lost in what was happening to really notice that Lance was in front of him. Lanc wasn't even sure Keith could see him through his bangs because Lance could barely see his eyes….not that he was hoping to catch a glimpse of them. And now he was typing! Keith's very first message!

 

> **_Keith:_ ** Delete that
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** no >:)))
> 
> **_Keith_ ** : Delete it
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Make me  >:))))))
> 
> **_Pidge_ ** : Keith its in the chat now
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** The chat is forever
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Unless I delete it
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** keithchsjf akcnvkfe m
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** I think Keiths killing Lance
> 
> **_Pidge_ ** : It was bound to happen

Keith had dove at Lance causing Lance to yelp and curl into himself in an attempt to protect his communicator. There was a lot of fumbling….Keith was strong but Lance was good at wiggling his way out of his hold. Eventually, they ran out of bed and they fell to the floor with a thud as Lance tried to inform his friends that he was being attacked. It didn't work. Lance was stubborn though, and he figured that Keith would tire himself out eventually but...little did he forget Keith was just if not _more_ stubborn than he was. Keith eventually pinned him down long enough to delete the photo and when Lance twisted onto his stomach to crawl away from Keith, Keith sat on his back. It was something he'd done to Shiro before...when he was younger but, Shiro had always been bigger and it always ended with Keith clinging to his back for dear life. This, this was different and Keith couldn't help the laugh that burst out if his chest. “Keith, get off!”

No answer.

“KEITH”

He smirked and made a show of busying himself with the messages that had been causing his communicator to chime. Lance struggled for a bit, wiggling his lanky limbs in vain but, it was a great source of entertainment to Keith. Lance couldn't even deny the smile that was ghosting his lips as he heard Keith's laughter. It made something inside him bubble with joy... _Friends like seeing friends happy_.

 

> **_Keith:_ ** I didn't want him to keep it
> 
> **_Hunk_ ** : Keith...buddy...where's Lance??
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** He's here…
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Did you knock him out?
> 
> **_Pidge_ ** : If so, may I say
> 
> **_Pidge_ ** : Pics or it didnt happen
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** KEITH'S FATASS IS CRUSHING ME  >>:((
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** DONT ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  ME IM SUFFERING
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Yeah sounds like being under Keith is a nightmare for you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** real personal Hell I bet
> 
> **_Lance_ ** : HUNK BUDDY PIDGE IS BEING MEAN H E L P
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** ….pics or it didn't happen
> 
> **_Lance_ ** : H U N K ｡ﾟ･（>﹏<）･ﾟ｡
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** [attached image]
> 
> **_Keith_ ** : Also what does “( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”  mean and why doesn’t Lance like it?? He’s using the dumb face things too

Lance couldn't help but actually laugh when he read that...that was until his eyes trailed up and saw the picture. He let out an undignified yelp. His hair was unruly, sticking out in odd places and Keith had managed to catch his face in a weird contortion of being flustered by Pidges texts and annoyance. It was the _worst_ picture of him in existence and that was saying something...considering that back home, his Mamá had an entire photo album dedicated to embarrassing pictures of her children. She had a couple of Lance screaming, limbs flailing to cover himself up as the curtain was drawn back in the shower to reveal his mother with a camera...the time Lance’s sister Veronica had managed to pin him down to so his makeup- though that was only embarrassing because she had done it horribly _on purpose_ and the foundation wasn't even his skin tone! Realizing he looked like _that_ made him feel very self-conscious. Why? Obviously, because he had a reputation to uphold and not because of _who_ had taken the picture “I’m going to kill you Kogane!” he shrieks, wiggling and doing his best to get free. _Jesus, how much does Keith weigh? It had to be all muscle- no don’t think about that right now! Focus damn it!_

He could see in the reflection of Keith’s face on the orange of his screen...he was smirking and looking really proud of himself. He looked at Lance and the two made eye contact in the reflection for a brief moment before Keith went back to texting. Right...his communicator was going crazy in his hand. Oh god- the group chat. _PIDGE._

 

> **_Pidge:_ ** OH MY GDO
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** First off
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** They’re called emoticons and its like….showing emotions. I’ll teach you later
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Secondly
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** YOURE ACTUALLY SITTING ON HIM OH M YGHO
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Lance
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** buddy? U okay????
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Why isn’t he answering??
> 
> **_Hunk:_ **  Keith???
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Is he okay???
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I think he’s having a moment
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** He said he’s going to kill me...he hasn’t made a move yet though
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** I bet he’s dying to tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** What does that mean?
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** I’ll tell you later
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** How’s loverboy holding up?
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Still nothing. Should I get off?
> 
> **_Lance:_ **  I can’t hear you guys over the sound of absolute BETRAYAL <(｀^´)>
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** And YES YOU SHOULD
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Lance buddy….you gotta admit
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** This is pretty funny
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** NO

“....does this really bother you?” Keith's voice was so soft, almost like he was scared to know if he'd actually hurt Lance and so quiet it took Lance a couple seconds to actually register that the voice was coming from above him. “Lance” He looked at Keith through the reflection of his communicator, eyes locking and staring intently. Even though the distorted orange color, Lance could see the look of concern written all over Keith's face. It left a pang in his heart...he wanted that confident smirk back and he knew he was responsible for taking it away. They stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other before Keith let out another soft “Lance?” It was more of a question this time around and...Lance couldn't take the look in Keith's eyes anymore. They were just...too expressive.

“No...I'm just being dramatic...I'm not actually mad at you” Lance admits with a sigh, looking away from the screen. He was really glad he wasn't face to face with Keith or...well he didn't know what he'd do. He didn't even want to think about seeing Keith's big violet eyes being so soft and expressive without the barrier that was his communicator. “Kinda...reminds me of home.if I'm being honest. The kids like to gang up on me like this too...and you'd think my sister Veronica would stop after she officially became an adult but nahhh. You'd think they all see me as some sort of cushion instead of a person” he was rambling now and he knew that but...it helped to hear Keith let out a little laugh of relief.

“I mean...you’re kind of comfortable” Lance brought himself to look back at Keith’s reflection, only to find a soft smile that did more to his poor heart than hearing Keith concerned for him did. He snapped himself out of it as fast as he could, holding Keith’s gaze. He couldn’t tell through the orange tint but...it looked like Keith might have been blushing? _No, nope, nuh-uh. Not going there. Not today. Not ever. It’s just too weird._

“Really? And Mamá always said I was too skinny. All skin and bones- Veronica swore I was boney as heck. She couldn’t stand sitting on me for more than like...five minutes? Said she could feel my ribs stabbing her or something”

“You feel fine to me- it’s probably the training or something...I think we’ve all built up some muscle and that’s like cushion...kind of?” This was getting kind of weird...was it? Keith didn’t know but something in the air had definitely changed so he decided to slide off Lance’s back and sit next to Lance. Lance muttered a soft thank you as he rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling.

“Yeah...that’s probably it. I bet if we ever get back to Earth...my Mamá and Abuelita are still gonna fuss over me and ask if I ever ate while up in space. Mamá will probably feed everybody...if the team meets her anyway. If not she’d just shove food in front of me until I felt so full I wanna vomit” There was a smile on spreading on his lips as he pictured his Mamá rushing around the kitchen as she tried to whip up something ‘simple’ that would end up being a lot of food- it was never _too much_...such a thing never existed in his house. He could see his Abuelita pinching the skin of his arms and asking him why he looked so thin, even though Lance was sure his form was more fit than he’d ever been when he was home. He could see both of them praising Hunk over him ‘taking care of their little Lance’, he knew that Veronica would get a kick out of sharing embarrassing stories of Lance, his cousins would freak out over him meeting Shiro- Oh god he’d have to take his posters in his room down! Keith would probably find the whole thing hilarious...did he want Keith to meet his family? Of course, he did- but he wanted the whole team to meet his family...not just Keith. His sisters and nieces would probably freak out over how pretty Keith was- it was his eyes for sure...not that he thought about that. There’d be plenty of reason for Lance too but...he kind of missed it.

“...sounds kind of counterproductive” Keith jokes as Lance looked at him, he was glad to see that the relief that had settled itself on Keith’s face but he couldn’t help but feel a bit awkward. Maybe he was just overthinking everything. They were friends, friends had soft moments like this...and that’s what this was.

“Yeah, but that’s home...My Mamá’s going to go crazy once she finally meets Hunk in person. She already loves him like a son for ‘taking care of her son’, he was supposed to come over at some point during break and get the official McClain seal of approval but...well you know, space and stuff” he says, shifting to sit up with his back against his bed. “Kinda want you all to meet them once we get back...you guys are family and they’d love you guys. Probably even throw you all a party”

“Really?...that sounds...nice” Keith said slowly, picturing in his mind a bunch of Lance like personalities bombarding him all at once...he wasn’t sure if he’d like that or not but, if they were half as kind as Lance himself was...well he was sure he’d like them.

“Yeah...might be a bit much for you though...I’ll make sure they don’t yell at you guys or something- We’re all pretty loud” He admits, not even remotely ashamed of the way his family acted. Sure, secondhand embarrassment might happen later but, that was fine.  It made memories, usually ones that were great to laugh about later in life. It made for great stories too.

“Guess you had to learn it from somewhere” Keith snickers a bit before a yawn take over...right, they’d both been up for a while. Maybe too long? He didn’t feel tired but, he knew he was basically just basking in the afterglow of having a good time. “I think...I’m gonna go to bed now. Thanks...for letting me talk to you”

“No problem man, that’s what friends are for” Lance stood up with Keith, walking him the few feet towards his door without really thinking about it. “You gonna be okay though, Mullet? I know you’re probably not gonna say it but, I know you're going to miss all of us. You don’t have to do this if its gonna hurt more than help”

“I think...I’ll be okay. I can text you guys now, right? I know it's not the same but...it’ll be something” Keith’s expression was still all too soft for Lance but, he knew from the tone of his voice he had to be expressing something along the same lines “Plus...I have you all here, just like you said...right?” Keith had actually pressed a hand over his heart, copying the motion Lance seemed to do when he remembered his family. It melted Lance’s heart more than it probably should have.

“Yeah, yeah you do. So you take good care of it...Night, Mullet” he says, waving slightly as Keith turned to walk away. He could still hear the light buzzing from his communicator. Right...the group chat. They’d sort of been talking for a bit….it was probably best to respond and read through the chat and see what he missed.

 

> **_Hunk:_ ** Buddy you have to admit it
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Lance??? Is he giving us the silent treatment again???
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Keith??? Is Lance okay?
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Are you okay???
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** They’re probably talking or something
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** My bets on or somethin ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** You think so??? What if they fell asleep???
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** What if Lance got hurt???
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** They’re probably fine- more than fine ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Pidge!!! Thsi could be serious!!!
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** My  thoughts exactly
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Don’t worry. They’re probably fine.
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** They should at LEASt ANSWER their phones??
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** ARE YOU GUYS IKAY??? I WILL GO IN THERE
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Stop worrying so much
> 
> **_Lance:_ **  Christ
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** I’m fine. He got off though
> 
> **_Lance_ ** : He just left. Its pretty late
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** he got off??( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** OF ME
> 
> **_Lance_ ** **:** COS YOU KNOW
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** IHE WAS SITTING ON ME
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Night guys
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Night, Mullet
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Night everyone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone was wondering, titles for chapters come from Sick of Losing Soulmates by Dodie 
> 
> So, I know I said Wed and Sat were good for updates for me but...my dad's in the hospital right now and I'm not too sure if I'm going to have a lot of free time. I'll try though! I wanted this chapter to be longer but..ya know situations


	5. Time and Hearts Will Wear Us Thin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More Keith and Lance talking about family and memories. Lance thinks he should hold off telling Keith he's bi and they're both just pinning and I love them. (In case you haven't noticed, I suck at giving summaries)

The day had approached faster than any of them had anticipated and now...Keith was gone. Lance was surprised to find that Keith was pretty good at keeping promises...not that he hadn't expected Keith to come in contact with the team at some point, he just kind of figured reaching out often was just an empty promise. Or rather...he figured Keith wouldn't need to reach out very often. Instead, he found Keith keeping up with the group chat and asking how their end of the war was going fairly often.Eventually, Pidge and Hunk were a little too busy trying to upgrade the castle’s defenses and make their trackers be able to handle longer ranges to actually answer the chat as often as they wanted to. It was all good things for the war but, it left Lance more alone than before. He had plenty of free time now...and the hangars were pretty lonely without Keith but...he found himself hanging out there, often switching between his hallway and talking to the lions. It really just depended on how he was feeling that day because...sometimes he'd even hit the training room just to give his mind something else to focus on. If he wanted to be alone, he'd go to his spot in the hallway and any other day he'd talk to Red and Blue in the hangars. No matter what mood he was in though, he eagerly welcomed a message from Keith. 

Keith had actually started to privately message him. Lance understood it was just because he saw no point in keeping a group chat on the days Hunk and Pidge couldn't respond but...it still did  _ things _ to Lance. Things he didn't want to think about right now. It wasn’t that he was uncomfortable at the possibility...no he’d known for quite some time that he ‘went both ways’. It was just the possibility of it being  _ Keith _ . It would make things overly complicated...more complicated than they needed to be so, instead he chose to ignore that part of him. Move on for once in his life instead of flirting all over in search of seeing if the feelings were true or just a random thought that would pass with time because, if he messed this up...he messed the team up. He was just happy to have a new  _ friend _ . Because having a new friend made space a lot less lonely. Keith didn't seem like he'd be easy to talk to but, Lance had found it was relatively easy to talk about anything. It was nice. Especially when he was homesick.

Lance was walking to his spot in the hallway on this particular day when he heard the familiar ding of his communicator. He didn't bother to acknowledge the small smile that formed on his lips at the hope it was Keith...no, at this point he hardly noticed that anymore. That was the great part about denial, wasn't it? He'd been pushing down his feelings so much he hardly even noticed...or remembered them. It made things easier...and that's what he needed right now. Something that was easy. Being friends with Keith...that was proving to be easy enough. Once he took a seat on the floor facing the ever-changing surrounding stars in front of him, he took out his communicator to check the notification.

> **_Keith:_ ** Today's mission kicked my ass
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Take a nap then buddy
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** ….I tried
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Did you really? 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Or did you close your eyes for like a second and give up?? 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** ……
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Mullet ya gotta at least try to sleep or it wont work 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I know. It's still kinda weird falling asleep here 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** My roommates asleep though...so its not like its frowned upon to take naps
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Still...feels too different I guess. I might go train for a bit and tire myself out
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** oh no you dont
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Youre lucky im not over there or I'd force your butt into bed 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Sure you would
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Id tuck you in so good youd be asleep in seconds
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Lance
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** wtf how am I supposed to sleep picturing that 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Too much? 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** A little 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Glad I didn’t throw in a lullaby then
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** oh my god I’m not a 5 year old, Lance 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Then quit whining like one and take a nap!!!! 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Maybe I don't want to nap now
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Keith so help me I will find your base and make you get some rest 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** You better be bright eyed and bushy tailed when i see you again 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Pft like I've ever been that 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** For Pete's sake sleep 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I don’t know a Pete
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** K E I T H 
> 
> **_Lance:_ **  YOURE GONNA GIVE ME GREY HAIRS
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I can't sleep. Why do you think I’m texting you? 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Really??? 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** ….I’m gonna call. You better pick up Mullet 

Lance stood up after typing that, not bothering to read the message Keith sent back before making his way to his room and calling. Keith picked up after a couple rings, which gave Lance the feeling that he was debating answering or not. “Why did you need to call? Did something happen?” Keith's voice sounded tired...had he been sleeping at all?

“Christ, Mullet. You sound tired. When's the last time you got a decent amount of rest?” Lance felt like he was scolding his younger siblings or nieces and nephews...he was using his firm older brother voice. A voice he hadn't used in while. 

“...a while. It always takes me some time to adjust to new places” Keith says simply, it wasn't a lie. Back in the foster homes, he was switched around quite often because of his behavioral problems. He couldn't blame them of course...but it had put him in the habit of getting not comfortable with his sleeping arrangements. Lance didn't know that...but over time Lance had learned about him being in the foster care system since his father died but, Keith had left gaps and holes in the stories he texted him. Not because he didn't trust Lance but, because he didn't want Lance to see him as broken. He didn't want pity. Especially not from Lance. What he wanted from him exactly was hard to name...well...not hard to name but just...not possible so, he'd rather not name it. “Why did you call?” 

“Figured we could talk til you fell asleep. I'm in my room too...and I hit the training deck for a lot longer than I usually do on my own so...I could probably use a nap too. Unless it weirds you out cos then I can stop and leave you to it” Lance says, barely taking a breath between his words. Maybe it was weird? He didn't know but...it was something he'd done with family before so...be figured it was okay in this situation and...he wasn't lying. He hadn't been getting the best of sleep since being alone more often. Being alone in the dark made his mind go on the rollercoaster ride known as his insecurities...he'd gotten into the habit of hitting the training room in an attempt to make him tired  “I used to do it with my younger siblings and other family members when I was at the Garrison or they were off on a trip or something. I get if you don’t want to. I should have asked fir-” 

“Lance” He immediately quieted once Keith cut him off, expecting Keith to tell him to just stop and cut the call but, he didn’t. “... it's fine. Thanks. If I start to fall asleep I'll let you know” Keith shifted, the creak of his mattress letting Lance know he was laying down now or at least getting more comfortable. Lance kicked off his shoes, letting them fall into the far corner of his room and laid on top of his own bed. 

“Alrighty then. You all nice and comfy?” Lance was still trying to find a comfortable position which landed him on his stomach with the pillow tucked under his chin. If he put his feet up, he’d be the spitting image of a middle school girl gossiping on her phone like in those cheesy movies...he couldn’t help but mentally laugh at the thought. 

“...I'm laying down if that's what you mean” Lance couldn’t practically hear the eye roll in Keith’s voice...it was nice to know some things never changed. 

“Yeah...that's what I mean. Tell me about the mission?” Neither boy let themselves revel in the domesticity of their actions or the fact that hearing the other’s voice brought some sort of relief. Of course, they missed each other...that was bound to happen. They were barely starting to get along and then they were separated, it was logical. That’s the only thing it was.

“Do you really want to hear about that?” The small shift in Keith’s tone of voice made it obvious to Lance that he possibly didn’t want to talk about whatever was going on...and that was fine. More than fine...Lance didn’t really want to muck up his thoughts even more by adding taking the time to think about this space war. 

“Sure, why not? Or do you wanna keep this call Defenders of the Universe free?” he asks, trying to lead Keith in the direction they both wanted to go “Cos...I’m totally cool with that too” 

“Yeah...that...sounds better. I don't like thinking about this before bed”  _ because sometimes it gives me nightmares. Nightmares where we fail and I never get to see you all again.  _ He wanted to admit it...but he couldn't. Lance didn't press on though, he never did and Keith was grateful. 

“Okay...okay...then...story time? Favorite childhood memory? Uhm...before the whole...you know” He trailed off, immediately regretting the words as they came out of his mouth but...well that was something to be expected when you rarely think before talking. Thankfully, Keith didn’t sound mad.

“Yeah, I figured you meant that. Uh...there's this time my dad took me hunting” There was always a fondness in Keith’s voice when he talked about his father that made Lance wonder if he got the same when he talked about his family. He could already see Keith’s soft expression, a fond smile that shone in his eyes as he thought back to the years he had with his father. 

“How Texas of you” Lance snickers even if he didn’t mean anything by it. It was just that teasing Keith about being from Texas was so easy...easy and amusing. 

“Shut up” Keith says, letting out a small breath that could have was the result of trying to hold in his laughter. “ I don't like it because we went hunting. He taught me a lot, you know? He really liked the outdoors, so we’d go camping a lot. We kinda moved around a lot too so...it was just something to do between moves- I think so anyway. I think… this one time is my favorite because we didn’t get anything. We failed terribly...well I did- I couldn’t shoot the rabbit we caught. It was so small and I was so excited to shoot the gun up until I was there with the shot lined up. I think I actually cried?” Keith let out a laugh and Lance found that he’d been smiling. Sure...Keith wasn’t the best at actually describing what he was picturing but, his voice and face always had a way of showing it. “Anyway...we ended up eating  Rice-A-Ron i cooked over a fire for dinner. I thought my dad was going to be furious- I don’t know why but I did. I was still sniffling while he was cooking and he pulled me onto his lap and was like…” Keith paused for a second, clearing his throat before talking again in his best impression of his father. It was a bit rusty after years of not attempting to talk that way but, it still took everything in Lance to hold his laughter until Keith was done “Now son if you’re cryin over that rabbit still you best stop. I ain’t mad at you if anything I’m proud. You didn’t do somethin just cuz I asked you to. You held onto what you believed was right. That makes you strong, never be sorry for that” 

Keith waited for a moment, listening to the struggled sounds Lance was making as he bit back a laugh “It’s okay to laugh, Lance. I did it as a joke” There was a relieved sounding sigh before Lance just let the laughter that had bubbled up inside him climb up and exit through his mouth in a way that shuddered through him. He had the tendency to let his laughter overcome his body and shake through him, he’d been told it was too much before but...right now no one could see him. Once he’d simmered down he cleared his throat. 

“Warn a guy next time, Mullet… he sounds like a wise man, even if your impression made him sound like a cartoon” 

“Wouldn’t have been as funny if I told you...but yeah. He was great...I was like seven when he said that...I don’t remember a whole lot about moving around with him. I kind of just remember the camping more, that’s usually most of the alone time we had together. He worked a lot...I don’t blame him though…” Keith trailed off, a silent signal to Lance that he was done talking because if he went down that path any longer he might think of other things besides how happy his memories with his father were. 

“Yeah...guess it's my turn right?” Lance says, humming to himself as he thought about a happy memory. There were a lot of things he’d enjoyed back at home, so many happy loud memories that made him smile just thinking about it “I think...maybe...my twelfth birthday? We went to the beach...well we kinda went to the beach for my birthday every year cos that’s just something I always liked. We’re usually back in Cuba for my birthday anyway so, the beach isn’t that far from where we live there. We usually walk there in the morning and spend all day there. My Mamá and Tiás all pack up a bunch of food and we’d just be left to run wild. They always act like they forgot to get me presents or a cake but, its all back at the house and when I least expected it they bring it all down and when the sunsets, we all sit down and watch. Veronica or Marco always brought glowsticks...or sparklers, sometimes both...both was fun” 

“If it's the same every year...why’s this one special?” Keith asks quietly, the softness in Lance’s tone making him feel like he was intruding on something private. Some part of Lance’s mind that held a fondness that was almost alien to Keith...maybe it was the same when he talked about his Dad? Whatever it was... it wasn’t uncomfortable, not in the slightest. 

“I was getting there” Lance teases, humming a bit again as he tried to remember what exactly made that year special “Marco, he’s my older brother...in case you didn’t remember that he always promised me he’d teach me to surf when I turned twelve because that’s more or less when he learned how to. I kept bugging him about it but, he’d just gotten married and his wife, Sara, was pregnant and I got that they were gonna need the money...so after a while, I kinda kept quiet about it. I didn’t want to bug him and stuff...so that day I was in the water just messing around with my cousin Luis and Mamá called me over to come look at the cake she and my Tiá Esmeralda made when I hear Marco yell ‘Flaco! Donde estas!?’ Which...is basically him yelling to find out where I was- Flaco means skinny and...it's kinda like a weird term of endearment? I mean it's not weird to me but...other people could probably find it weird” he trails off for a second, sighing as he recalled the rest of the story. It wasn’t an exasperated sigh...it was more or a happy one. Reliving this memory in his head was doing wonders to his mood “Anyway, I look up from my cake to see Marco looking for me and he’s carrying a board and I’m internally like ‘Oh cool! He’s gonna go for a ride and he’s probably gonna ask if I want to sit on the back for a bit’ cos the water was pretty calm but then I notice it's not  _ his _ board. Marco’s board was just a regular tan color with these dark blue stripes lining it but, the one he was holding was  _ light blue _ and painted to look like a shark. I just freeze and he has the biggest grin on his face and he just plants the thing in the sand in front of me. I’m pretty sure I cried cos the next thing I remember was him scooping me up and being like ‘Save the tears for when you wipe out’ or something like that? In Spanish obviously but, that’s not the point. I remember just wiggling out of his arms and picking it up off the ground and just booking it towards the water cos Sara was already out on Marco’s board, just kinda sitting on it and floating around. I spent the rest of the day on that thing and I picked it up pretty fast...I think...it was just the moment I realized my family always came through, no matter what. Made things heck of a lot easier in the future” It really had...it was things like this that had made coming out a little easier. Not that he was going to talk about that right now. It wasn’t that he wasn’t proud of who he was. It was just that...he didn’t know how Keith felt about that sort of thing...and he didn’t want to lose a friend over a topic like his sexuality. He’d be in the know eventually anyway. 

“You know how to surf?” Keith sounded a bit amazed and Lance found himself chucking a bit. Keith hadn’t meant to sound so dumbfounded but...his mind had slowly wandered to the thought of a shirtless Lance basking in the glow of the sun as he rode a wave and just-  _ no, not this again.  _

“Yeah, I’m a lot better at it now. If we ever get back to Earth...I can...teach you. If you want. You’re really pale though so we might have to get you SPF 100 or something” he jokes, earning a little tired scoff from Keith. 

“I’m not  _ that _ pale” 

“Mullet, you’re like translucent!” he says with a laugh, suppressing the yawn that was itching at the back of his throat as he placed his head sideways on his pillow “It’s not a bad thing. It’ll just be kind of funny to see you out on the beach...especially if my family drags you guys all out when you guys meet them. I mean, if...which you don’t have to if you don’t want to but, yeah” Lance decided to stop himself before he rambled on for too long...though would that be a bad thing? Keith needed to sleep and his babbles would...probably help him do that? 

“Do you think they’ll really want to meet us?”  _ Would they want to meet me? _ Was what he was really aching to ask but...that just sounded too...desperate? Maybe that was just his mind racing and making him think things that weren’t true but...he wasn’t a people person, he knew that and...he didn’t know how Lance’s family would react to that. Not to mention he didn’t really know how to deal with parents in general.

“Yeah! Of course, they would! They’re like...super accepting people...which might sound really weird because, we’re kinda traditional but, they’re super chill. Not to mention the fact that they’re gonna know you guys as part of the team that kept me alive so...they’re gonna love you guys! You can tell them about the bonding moment if you want, they’ll probably see you as a hero for  _ cradling me in your arms _ “ He was teasing Keith, of course, he was still pretending he didn’t remember what happened that day but...he did. Vaguely but, he remembered the feeling of Keith’s arms wrapped around him and the slurred words of appreciation that flowed out of his mouth, the admitting of admiration that came from the both of them….he just didn’t want to think about it, just in case he was making it out to be more than it actually was in his head. He’d been told he did that quite often. 

“Yeah, so you can tell them you don’t remember and that it didn’t happen? No thanks” Keith was still a little ticked that Lance didn’t remember that moment.  _ Their  _  moment, the moment that moved Lance from being an annoying thorn in his side to a pretty okay guy that just had a loud mouth and of course he didn’t remember it. 

“Nah, I’d tell them it's true. My Mamá would probably dub you her new son and cover you in thank you kisses and hugs, and let me tell you...her hugs are the absolute best hugs ever. She tops Hunk’s hugs for sure, I mean it's a close second but still. She’s number one”  He truly believed it. It could be because he missed his mother so much that a hug from her at that moment just seemed like a cure-all but, he believed it regardless.

“Yeah, sure…” he says, pausing a bit to let out a yawn “Like she’d actually like me. I’m not a people person, Lance” Keith hadn’t meant to sound as dismissive as he did but, the truth was his lack of sleep was starting to catch up with him. 

“They wouldn't care dude, believe me. They’ve dealt with way more shocking things than broody emos” He was thinking of himself again but, he was still certain that they’d love his space family “Veronica will probably tease you about the mullet but...all in all everyone would still like you. If I just kinda explain that you’re just a little awkward they’ll get it and won’t get offended” 

“More shocking things?” Keith says, not even bothering to acknowledge anything else. He could argue with Lance but...right now he could feel his eyes growing heavy and starting to close.

_ Crap  _ “Uh...yeah...but...I’m getting kinda tired so, tell you later?” Lance says, trying to hide the panic in his voice with a yawn. It was always an internal battle when deciding when it was safe to tell someone about his sexuality. Hunk and Pidge knew because he didn’t want there to be any secrets between them while they were at the Garrison. It was a way to show he trusted them and even though he trusted Keith...he couldn’t risk losing the one friendship that was the most consistent thing in his life as of late. 

“Yeah...okay. I’m starting to fall asleep too. But, you have to tell me later” 

“It’s a promise, sweet dreams Mullet” 

And with that, he hung up the phone. He hadn’t lied, he’d actually fallen asleep and hadn’t woken up until Hunk and Pidge came into his room to tell him dinner was ready. Pidge had jumped onto him, causing him to let out a shriek that she found to be absolutely hilarious. What was worse was that he found out Hunk had been recording the whole thing but...everything was forgiven when they told him they hit a stump in their work and we're going to take a few days off just to blow off some steam… which meant that they were hoping messing around would bring either of them a solution for what was going wrong. 

* * *

Dinner lead to another movie night even though Lance insisted that his two friends get some sleep. He was grateful for their insistence to say up though. It made him feel like they hadn’t been growing apart, that the gap forming in their friendship was just a mental one and not something that actually was happening- not that it was actually happening. He knew that his friends still loved him and that they wanted to goof around with him but, they had found a part to play in this war. They had a responsibility, he was still trying to find his.

Pidge had set up the TV once she had caught a whiff of Hunk making some sort of brownie like things- brownie like in the sense that Hunk had managed to get the taste and texture of them the same but...they were a lot bluer than they were on Earth. Alien ingredients were weird, that was for sure...but they tasted a lot better than they looked and Lance happened to think they looked pretty cool. A couple of those mixed with the creamy pink substance Hunk made that resembled hot chocolate and the night was basically made. 

They were in the middle of watching a weird action like film when Lance heard his communicator ding. He’d gotten used to carrying it more often, just in case he got a message from Keith...that and he was used to being alone. He didn’t even think before wiggling himself out of his blanket to properly reach into his pocket and open up the message.

> **_Keith:_ ** Thanks for earlier. It helped a lot 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** No problemo! Helped me too
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Did you just wake up? 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** ….maybe

Lance felt himself laugh, forgetting for a second that he was with Hunk and Pidge and once he did remember...it was too late to take back the laugh he had let out. Sure, it would have fit had they been watching another comedy but, the scene playing before them showed a brightly colored alien man holding a knife to the neck of another alien...female? Or maybe they were both dudes, he didn’t know. All he knew was that Pidge was staring at him now, remote in hand and a grin on her lips. The kind of grin she always had when she decided to tease Lance into oblivion. On one hand, he’d missed this and on the other...he didn’t need her digging up the feelings he had buried. It was for their own safety. “Lance...did you just giggle?”

“What? No! I laughed!” His voice was pitched high and his tone was defensive, not only that but he felt himself flail a bit...great. That gave her even more reason to tease him! He cursed his body for betraying him as he watched the smaller Paladin’s eyebrows perk up with curiosity, 

“No, that sounded like a giggle. Who you talking to huh? It’s not me...and I’m pretty sure it's not Hunk sooo...who is it~” her grin was spreading now as she jumped up from her seat and raced over to look at his communicator. Lance hurried to put the orange slab out of reach, holding it high in the air as she attempted to climb up and snatch it. He knew it wasn’t helping his case or helping support his claims of talking to no one “Either you show me or I’ll figure it out, McClain. Take your pick” 

“It’s Keith! I was texting Keith!” Lance yelps, trying to pull Pidge off of him. She was incredibly strong for a girl of her stature and no matter how hard he tried to weasel out of her grip, she managed to cling onto somewhere else.” he was just thanking me and said something kind of funny! I was gonna tell him to text the group chat since you guys are gonna take some time off” Pidge didn’t look convinced, she pushed up her glasses as he grinned widened and looked at Hunk with an ‘I told you so’ look. Though Lance didn’t pick up on that, he just picked up on the smug grin. A grin that made him realize that maybe...maybe he didn’t miss  _ every _ aspect of the group dynamic. 

“So you been texting Keith a lot then? Since Hunk and I have been working on the castle?” Her tone was trying to lead him to a certain train of thought, a train of thought that brought color to Lance’s cheeks without him being able to tell them otherwise. 

“Not a lot a lot but some?” His voice cracked and he tried his best to remain stoic...except he was a pretty expressive guy so doing that was almost impossible “Hunk! She’s trying to make this weird! Like Bro Time! Help!” 

“I think it's good that you and Keith are texting more. Sucks that it had to happen when we’re not all together anymore but, I always knew you guys were going to get along” Lance looked up to find Hunk smiling at him as he picked another brownie up off the center table and brought it into his mouth. “We miss him too so, I get it. Don’t feel weird about it. You can miss your  _ friends _ ” 

The way Hunk said friend made Lance remember what he was trying to keep at bay, it made him feel like Hunk was insinuating there was something more to what they were doing and it wasn’t helping “Yeah, you guys are busy and he just texts me when he’s free. It’s no biggie, just friend stuff. I don’t know what Pidge is getting all grinny about” he says after taking a moment to gather himself.

“Mhm, okay well tell your boyfriend we’re watching a movie and he should know movie time is sacred” Pidge says, turning around and burying herself in her blankets again. 

“He’s not my boyfriend! I literally just told you we're friends! Pidge, don't make this weird!” he knew the fact that his voice had gone up an octave made what he was saying seem obsolete but, it was the truth! He just was easily flustered...yup that was it. It didn’t help that Hunk was giving him a weird look- the whole eyebrow up with his head cocked ever so slightly look. It was a look he could see Veronica giving him and...he didn’t like that one bit. It was a knowing look...a look he didn’t want because that meant that they already knew or guessed what he felt which means sooner or later Keith would figure it out and...then things would get awkward and the team wouldn’t work the same way anymore. He didn't know if it was better or worse that Hunk didn't say anything. On one hand they weren't reprimanding him for his possible feelings but, on the other hand, they weren't encouraging him to pursue them. Maybe...they knew it was just as hopeless of a crush than he did? He didn't like having these thoughts swirl through his head. Not one bit. His Mamà always said it was best to talk about what he felt because swimming in his own head would leave him drowning. He didn't want to drown. “....it's not weird if I do right? Just...a tiny bit? I'm not even sure...it's probably just being out in space doing things to me” 

“Weird? No way, buddy. I kinda figured you might end up with a thing for him after how much you talked about him. It was like non-stop, even before you guys became friends. Maybe it's just a passing thing, like with Casey...or with Debbie or that one dude we never got the name of?” Right...right he got silly little crushes all the time and they went away soon enough. This was just like that. It had to be. Sure, Keith was an attractive guy and their personalities clicked in some weird way but...it didn't mean anything. It didn't have to mean anything. Hunk was right. Of course he was. 

“...I just don't wanna mess anything up, ya know? I don't want things to get weird and end up messing up the team in some way. I know he's not here but he's still a part of Voltron and...I can't be the reason we fail. “ He stared at the messages on his phone for a bit, realizing he hasn't answered Keith back yet. He had pressed send on his reply when he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

> **_Lance:_ ** You must’ve been really tired then

It was Pidge, she had slid herself over to him, placing some of her blankets on his lap as she pats his shoulder lightly before motioning for Hunk to get closer. Before Lance could process what was happening, he was squished between his two best friends. “Don't worry about messing anything up, okay Lance. You're fine. What he doesn't know won't hurt him and...I get the feeling he'd understand” 

“What? Why would he?” Thousands of possibilities ran through his head and he tried his best to shove down the hopeful ones. There was no way that Keith liked guys...he’d be able to tell, right? Yeah...he’d totally be able to tell. 

“...just forget I said anything” She had that grin on her face again, waving her hand before reaching for the remote and resuming their movie. The alien with the knife somehow was pinned against the wall now, the other alien smirking and saying something Lance couldn’t seem to process.

“PIDGE” He was whining now, he knew it but he  _ needed _ to know. If Pidge knew something...she should share, though he didn’t really believe that she knew something he didn’t. Not about Keith anyway. Or...was Keith just as close with Pidge as he was with him? They did spend a lot of time together...that was for sure but, Pidge swore they only talked about things that weren’t feelings. She was obviously bluffing, right? 

“Shhhh! The movies playing!” Lance realized he wasn’t going to get any more information and let out a groan, silencing his communicator and just sinking into the feeling of having his friends near. He debated not answering Keith back for the rest of the night but….he didn’t want to worry the guy. 

> **_Keith:_ ** You don’t even know 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I wouldn’t mind...if you called again
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** When you can’t sleep…. If that’s not weird 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Okay, yeah. For sure
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Pidge and Hunk are free now btw 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Nice
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** You guys having a movie night? 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Yeah 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I’ll let you get back to it then 
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** It’s cool dude 
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** You missed them, you should hang out with them. I’ll text the group chat later. Have fun :)
> 
> **_Lance:_ **  OMG your first emoticon! I’m so proud :’)
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Bye, Lance

The rest of movie night went as usual, though Pidge had fallen asleep sometime after they got halfway through the movie and Hunk had carried her to her room. Lance didn’t know how she slept in there...the whole thing was just a mess of ‘organized piles’. That’s what she called them...Lance just saw it as a bunch of junk and it took so much out of him not to storm in there and start moving things around like this Mamà did when his room got out of hand, though it never got this bad….his Mamà would have a fit if she saw this. He could hear her saying something about being a proper lady. That made him scoff in his head, Pidge was anything but that...not that it was a bad thing, Pidge was great! Honestly, he was really impressed by her and was so proud of everything she'd done for the team and the war. Once Hunk had set her down in bed Lance pulled the covers over her and took off her glasses, setting them down on her nightstand before turning the lights off and leaving after Hunk. He expected Hunk to turn into his own room but, instead, he found Hunk waiting by his door “Something up buddy?” 

“No, just kinda wanted to hang out. It's been a while since it was just us, ya know?” 

“Bro time?” 

“Bro time”

* * *

 

“I missed this” Hunk says, relaxing against Lance’s bed as he waited for his face mask to dry. It was something they hadn't had the chance to do since the Garrison. Being roommates for so many years had lead to Hunk being occasionally subjected to Lance’s skincare routine and...Hunk had to admit, it was pretty relaxing. They’d sit and talk...well Lance would talk and Hunk would listen. Usually, it was Lance pinning over a new crush or complaining about not being able to compete with Keith...well some things never changed. Except...they kind of had. As of late anyway. Hunk had known that if they two settled their differences-well, more like of Lance dropped the whole rivalry thing, they’d end up good friends and he was proud to say he was right. Though...Pidge had the hunch there was something more to it but, well...if there was, Lance would come into it on his own. From the looks of movie night, he needed time to think it over and that was perfectly fine. Hunk thought it was cute and would make the story that much more entertaining when it was told in the future.

“Me too, buddy” Lance let out a sigh, leaning back on his hands in front of Hunk “It’s been a while, huh? Probably finals...you were trying to study for that big physics test and I was...trying really hard to procrastinate” It all seemed like a really distant memory but, he was sure the cramming for that test had happened months ago. Things had changed a whole lot since then...he thought he was the most stressed he’d ever been in his life at that point but nope, the universe just had to go and show him that it could get  _ worse _ . Arguably worse...the people he was around were pretty neat and space was amazing but, he could really do without the whole Galra trying to kill them thing.

“Sounds right, you were still trying to figure out if you wanted to ask out Trisha or not” Hunk says, laughing a bit at the memory of a frantic Lance pacing around their shared space “If I remember right, your exact words were ‘How can I study for a stupid physics test when she could be the one! I won’t know unless I try right?’, glad I talked you out of that one and actually got you to study. Imagine finding out she was already dating Chris AND failing that final? Oof”    
  
Lance laughed...yeah he could get a little out of hand when it came to love but, it was just because the idea of it was so nice. The idea that there could be someone out there that complimented him perfectly, even if it defied logic was...amazing. To put it simply, he was in love with love. Not that he’d ever gotten a taste of it relationship wise. He’d gotten a taste of infatuation, of things that could have blossomed but eventually...they fell apart. That was fine though his Mamá had told him that everyone had a media naranja (half orange, which here means soulmate) out there for them and he believed it. Sure...at his age his mother had already found his dad and Maro had started dating Sara but...that was okay. His love story wasn’t supposed to be the same as theirs...it was just that the longer time went ticking by, the less hope Lance had in having one. “Hey! We both know I still would have totally passed that test regardless but...yeah. Guess I really do have a list of pointless crushes huh?” 

“I wouldn’t say pointless” Hunk says, studying the look in Lance’s eyes. He knew love could be a sensitive topic for the guy and he wished there was more he could so for him but...Lance hadn’t given him anything and he wasn’t a mind reader. Though...he kinda wished he was. He could tell something was off with Lance and usually, the guy was an open book so, it must have been something pretty big if he was keeping it to himself. “She was nice and pretty...and so were the other people. Completely justified”

“Yeah...ya know...I kinda had a sweet spot for pretty and nice girls, huh?” Allura crossed his mind for a moment, she was everything he could ever look for in a woman. Honestly, he’d be lying to himself if he said he didn’t automatically look her way whenever they were in a room together. Those feelings  _ made sense _ . Sure, she didn’t respond to his flirting but, it's not like most girls he flirted with ever did. That never stopped him. It was just so much  _ easier _ . Flirting with girls was  _ easy _ and flirting with guys was a gamble. Half the time he ended up with crushes on straight boys and that...that was never good. 

“Pretty boys too” Hunk’s tone was teasing but, Lance couldn’t help but glare a bit. Yeah...he couldn’t argue. Hunk knew him too well and..well he was lying to himself enough as late, he owed himself some truth.

“Yeah, that too. Too bad it never works out, I mean Allura’s too focused on actually getting the coalition going...not that I really have a chance there anyway and...uh- yeah”  _ And Keith isn’t into guys _ . That’s what he wanted to say...and he knew he could. It was Hunk after all. The guy was literally the most accepting person in the entire universe! Hunk wouldn’t be weirded out if he rambled on, if anything he would encourage it. 

“And what?” 

“Nothing... it's just...I don’t know...what I said in the common room? During movie night...I just...I don’t know?” Lance lets out a sigh, trying his best to keep his face in a relaxed position. It was almost time to wash them off anyway so, before Hunk could say anything more he got up to go get them some wet towels. 

“It’s okay to not know, you know that right? Wanna talk it out? It might help a little, we can go down to the kitchen and I can whip us up a little snack. It’ll be just like old times” The tone in Hunk’s voice was as gentle as he was, it made Lance feel terrible for just getting up and making himself busy in the bathroom. He stops to think of what to say...if he didn’t talk it would leave Hunk worried and if they did talk...Lance didn’t exactly know what he’d say. “Or we can stay in here” 

“Let’s just take this off first” Lance says, tossing Hunk a towel before beginning to take his mask off. Once it was done with, he tossed his towel down his laundry chute and held the door open for Hunk to toss his in. He mulled it over in his head for a bit, looking at Hunk who was just waiting patiently for Lance to answer what he had to say before walking over to his door “I could really use some of your cookies right now, buddy” 

“No problem, let’s fix some up for you” Hunk says, a smile spreading on his face before following Lance out the door. Lance didn’t talk on the way to the kitchen, he was too busy thinking of what he’d say. If he was being honest, this was the first time he’d thought it over since he figured out he  _ might _ have feelings. Hunk busied himself by getting everything prepared and Lance sat himself on the counter. “So...I think...I might... maybe have feelings” 

“Mhm, we kinda went over that already” Hunk says, not looking up from tying his apron around his waist. It wasn’t a dismissive sentence, it was one asking him to go on, to expand and explain the thought. 

“And...I think its weird? Not because of the guy thing. I mean, we both know I’m  _ more _ than okay with that. I just think...if I let myself get full feelings...things won’t end up the way they should. Like, if I flirt with him like I do with Allura...I mean obviously it won’t work but, it might make him feel weird and shy away from you guys and the team and it’ll all be my fault because no matter what Voltron need him. In case something happens to me or Shiro” he stopped, realizing he was fidgeting with his hands and looked up to see Hunk had stopped mixing whatever Altean ingredients he used to make cookies. He took a breath before continuing “I don’t even know if he  _ likes _ guys, ya know? I mean maybe he’s not a homophobe but...it’s possible? It’s always possible and I don’t want to ruin a really good friendship over something stupid. Over something I don’t even know!” 

“Lance- I…” Hunk pauses, putting his spoon back into the batter and mixing again “I think you’re just overthinking this. I mean, come on. We both know that Keith’s actually a really cool and nice dude...he’s just a little awkward. Which is fine but, I don’t think he’d stop being your friend. Allura didn’t kick you out of Voltron, right?” he grins and Lance finds himself letting out a small laugh. Maybe the joke was in poor taste but, he knew Hunk wasn’t making fun of his feelings. Hunk would never do that. Hunk was just trying to get his pal to smile again, something Lance hadn’t realized he wasn’t doing the entire time they had been talking. 

“Yeah….I know. I just really don’t want to mess this up. This isn’t just a my love life thing...if I make him go away for good...I could be ruining the fate of the universe! I mean, it's not like I think he’s the one or something. He’s not...like you said...I just have a thing for pretty boys and I got stuck on a ship with a really...really pretty one that ended up being a really cool dude even though he acted like an ass for like sixty percent of the time” Lance looked up to find Hunk just scooting the cookie dough his way and taking out two spoons. “I thought we weren’t allowed to eat it like this?” 

“Once time won’t hurt” Hunk says with a grin, scooping up some cookie dough with his spoon and eating it “Plus, I think it’ll make you feel better this way. Anyway, I think...you should play it safe but...maybe don’t push away? You might end up hurting him too and...I mean obviously keeping it in isn’t doing you any better”

“Yeah...you’re right” Lance nods, shoveling more cookie dough into his mouth. Christ, Hunk was the best at this! Both the talk and the cookies because, Lance was feeling pretty good. “I don't even think it it's a full crush...its a baby crush. It's a cru, ya know? Like the start of a crush. Little embers that are super easy to snuff out, that's what it is so...you're right. I shouldn't...beat myself up over this” 

“I know I am. Just...see how it plays out, okay? Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re doing great” Hunk put his arms around Lance, giving him a squeeze before letting him go back to eating the dough.

“Thanks...I love ya, buddy. You’re a good friend” 

“Love you too and you are too. I get the whole overthinking thing, trust me I do but...I don’t want to see you hurt yourself like this. Maybe it’ll go away but, if you keep pushing it down like that...it's just gonna get worse. I know you want to forget about it but…” 

“What I want isn’t necessarily what I need?” Lance finishes, looking at Hunk for confirmation. Hunk wasn’t telling him anything he didn’t know or didn’t already tell himself but, it was so much easier to take good advice if it wasn’t from himself. Hunk would argue that no one typically listened to him when it came down to it...like the whole Rolo and Nyma thing but, Lance knew he  _ always _ listened to Hunk’s advice. Even if Hunk was less experienced than he was, the guy was just...wise when it came down to it. Lance’s theory is that his big heart and ability to understand people let him bring people together, which meant he gave pretty damn good advice.

“Exactly, as hard as it is...I can't believe I'm saying this,you just gotta kinda go with the flow. It's how you move on, which...I’m assuming is what you want. Don’t be so hard on yourself, bud. Okay? “

“Okay”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Sorry for taking a week off, I really needed it to get things together but everything's okay now!   
> *Anyway unpopular opinion but I actually really liked s7??? And still have high hopes for Klance so...idk man   
> *Also lmao I somehow called how Keith's dad died in like ch 2, go me!


	6. What A Strange Being You Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Keith are getting closer. Promises are made and secrets are told.

“Keith, my man, buddy...you don’t get it. Those garlic knots were to die for! How could I not want to go there the minute we get back on Earth? I mean yeah sure I miss my family...and Hunk’s cooking is great but, man oh man do I really _really_ want a garlic knot from Santiago's Pizzería. It’s like down the street from my Tío Mateo’s house which is like two streets away from my Abuelita’s house so, I can just stop there and swing on back to see everyone with some garlic knots! It's a win-win!” Lance had found himself calling Keith that night...and the night before that and basically almost every night since the first time. It seemed more like a routine thing now, sure it started off awkward but now, missing a day ended with apologies and a promise of a longer time talking the next time they could call. Lance wouldn’t say he was dependant on Keith’s voice to fall into a good night’s rest but...hearing it sure did help. That wasn’t wrong...he was just following Hunk’s advice and...not pushing away. Plus, it wasn’t like it was just him pushing for these calls. Keith called first too. It was a mutual thing...that so happened to be helping Lance in double than the way it was helping Keith.

“Lance, you can’t tell me that you’d go get _food_ before seeing your family again. You literally cried about missing Josie’s birthday party!” Lance could hear the hint of a laugh that laced the end of Keith’s argument. It was as if he’d known Lance for years like this whole thing was a typical exchange. He tried not to dwell on that too much...but, the fact that Keith actually remembered anything he had talked about took him off guard. So he dwelled on it. He shouldn’t but, he let it simmer in his head. He let the words and tone solidify, shelving them in the bookcases of memories that lined the walls of his brain. It landed somewhere between “Keith being a good friend” and “Cute things Keith has done”.

“It isn’t just food! It’s a bit of heaven! Seriously, I’ll have to take you there so you can know why my family will totally forgive me if I go there first….and it was a _Disney Princess_ party! I had an outfit back home and everything! How could I not have cried about it! I...I can’t believe you remembered that” He had tried not to sound as shocked but, complaining about missing that birthday party had just been a passing thought. He remembered rambling about having his Prince Naveen costume all set and how his cousin Josie would look wonderful in her Rapunzel dress- it had extra glitter and sequins added to it to make sure it was extra special. The party was really any six-year-olds dream and he missed it! It really wasn’t….it shouldn't be that important of a story...at least Lance didn’t think so.

“I remembered what? O-oh...that...uh...I mean I pay attention to what you tell me so why wouldn’t I? I still think it’s bullshit though, you’re going to run home the minute we land. I know it” Keith tried to hide his flustered tone and he kind of succeeded since Lance was convinced the tone was just wishful thinking.

“Ah..yeah right so...my guess is that you’re gonna visit your dad? You’re gonna be all emo and take him a single rose and go alone” Lance wasn’t trying to make fun of Keith, he just knew Keith responded better to his comments and suggestions if they were at the expense of a joke rather than an attempt to get him to open up a bit more. “The piano track to Welcome to the Black Parade playing in the background and everything”

“Magnolias actually….it was a weird tradition his sector had. I guess...they mean nobility? So, no to the rose but, other than that you pretty much got it. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that I’d go alone. I’m not going to drag all of you to the graveyard” Keith trailed off, not because he was uncomfortable but because he hadn't thought of the possibility before. Sure, he figured he'd go to his father's grave and talk about the adventure that had been thrown at him...he'd talk about the other Paladins for sure but...he never thought of actually taking them there. It would be weird, wouldn't it? Having them pay respects to a man that the never met...yeah it was weird. Shiro would go. He knew that but, he was sure it was just for emotional support and…he'd just started talking to Hunk and Pidge, not to mention that they didn't even know his father was dead. The only ones that knew were Shiro….and Lance.

“I wouldn't mind going...someone's gotta hold the boombox playing that emo piano soundtrack, right?” There was a teasing tone in Lance’s voice but, Keith could tell there was some sincerity to it. “I know it might be kinda weird but, we're friends and...I know going to the cemetery on your own can be a real bummer, not that I'm gonna try to make it a party...but...I dunno. I don't go alone to visit my Abuelito, someone's always there...even if it's just in the car”

“...really? You'd actually...go? You don't have to. I used to go by myself all the time. It's not gonna be any different”

“I mean...I'll go. Keep my distance so you can talk to him if you want. If you want that is. You can say no, I know different people deal with this stuff differently and my family just kinda bunches together instead” he was rambling now, scared that he'd crossed an invisible line in their friendship. Logically, he knew it didn't work that way but, that did nothing to soothe the red alarms that were going off in his head.

“...that'd be cool. Thanks” Slow and awkward but...weirdly not hesitant. Lance took that as a good sign.

“Really? I mean, of course! No problem! I know it's been a long time but...I know that it probably still hurts and...it probably won't ever stop hurting but other people, friends, and family make you strong. My family taught me that and I can't just let you do this on your own” Lance stopped himself before he said too much. Before he finished his sentence formulating in his head. _Let me make you stronger. Let me help you heal. Let me be there for you. Let me_.

“....you have to take me to see your Abuelito though…” _Because I want to make you strong too. You don't need it, you have so many others but let me._ “Eye for an eye, you know?” Lance went silent. Keith...was just so nice? The fact that he'd said ‘abuelito’, choppy and slow...inexperienced but, he'd said it. He'd said it because he listened to Lance instead of just replacing the word automatically in his head. The fact that he had...intentionally or not, admitted to wanting to be there for him. The fact that he'd agreed to take Lance somewhere that he doubted Keith let anyone else into. It was too much. “....Lance?”

“Oh...uh yeah. Of course. For sure. We can do that” _Oh god, I'm being weird_. “Sorry, I was...just remembering going there with my family. It'll...be a long way from Texas, ya know? You don't have to go”

“Yeah, I know. I don't have anywhere to go after we land though. I don't mind...beats going back to the shack-”

“You're staying there?” Lance was quick to interject. He didn't mean to, he didn't mean to sound slightly offended but...he couldn't help it. After all...Keith was just thinking of isolating himself again. Lance mentally cursed himself...what else would he do? It wasn't like he had anywhere else to call home. Sure, he had a new family but...that family still belonged to different homes in the end. Lane would probably end up staying in Cuba or staying at the Garrison...if they would have them back.

“Probably? It's not like the Garrison is going to take me back and...living there wasn't that bad” It wasn’t definite or even a well thought out plan...Keith just figured that was the way things would end up. One way or another, they all had different lives to get back to and he wouldn’t want any of them to put that aside for him. Even if knowing the eventual ending kind of hurt.

“Oh right...the Garrison probably isn't going to take us back either. I mean...you don't think they'd take us after we saved the entire universe? I mean...i guess we might be a little too experienced to be students and stuff but...maybe?”

“Maybe? I'm just not counting on them taking _me_ back. You guys can probably be put in an actual squadron with them and keep being a team. You guys will do great things” Lance went quiet again. He didn’t like Keith talking like that like he didn’t belong to the team as much as he did. He didn’t like the frustrated tone in his voice. Lance could practically picture the Blade’s furrowed brows and ever present scowl. He wanted more than anything than to reach out and smooth away the wrinkles but, he couldn’t...not because they weren’t face to face but because he was certain that was a line he couldn’t cross. A line he shouldn’t cross. Call it intuition or worry but...this conversation wasn’t sitting right with Lance. Keith didn’t sound this annoyed when they talked on the phone, not even when Lance pushed his buttons or asked him stupid questions about Texas. The Keith he had gotten to know was so incredibly soft when talking about memories...but these weren’t memories.

“Keith?” His tone was pensive and cautious. His voice barely above a whisper, like he was approaching a small wounded animal. In a sense, he was. Except this animal wasn’t defenseless, this animal would and could rip his head off with one wrong move. This animal was deadly...but that was okay...it was kind of cute “What...what do you want to do when we get back to Earth?”

“I just told you, Lance” Keith growled a bit, stopping himself from saying anything more. He didn’t want to hurt Lance or make him misunderstand something that was being said. He was just frustrated. Frustrated that for once in his life he wanted someone, an entire team, to stand by him. To stay. He never thought needed anyone but, they showed him how to- more specifically Lance showed him how to accept that he did, something Shiro had tried to drill into him for years. All Lance had to do was knock on Keith’s walls before they came crumbling down. He didn’t know how to deal with that.

“That doesn’t sound like something you _want_ , Mullet” Lance’s tone was a bit more assertive now. It was a flashback to when he still thought of Keith as a rival. Were they really going to fight right now? They hadn’t done that in ages...and he was hoping to keep it that way “I’m not asking what you think is gonna happen, I’m asking what you want to happen. Ya know, in an ideal world? “

“In an ideal world my Dad would still be alive and I’d be coming home to him” Keith said bluntly, surprising himself with the amount of force he snapped back at Lance with. _Shit, please know I’m not mad at you_. Lance chuckled a bit on the other end, now they were getting somewhere! Lance could deal with this. He knew how to deal with this.

“Yeah, and my Abuelito would be waiting back home to serenade me with his guitar...ah sorry. I’m not making fun of you, promise. I think...I kinda get what’s up? I get life’s pretty shitty sometimes and life hasn’t been the nicest to you but, my Mama always says _Despues de la lluvia sale el sol_ \- After the rain, the Sun comes out. I think the universe did you dirty, don’t get me wrong but….maybe that’s a good thing? It probably means a whole lotta good is coming your way” Did Lance really believe all these things? Most of the time he did, usually at the expense of other people. For Keith, he could believe this...for himself, not so much. But, that was okay. He could revel in the happiness of other people. If Keith got to be happy at the end of this, if everyone on the team got to be happy by the end of this...he’d be happy too. They deserved it.

“I don’t get how you can do that” Keith still sounded a bit agitated but, Lance expected him to stay that way for a while...though he hoped it faded out so the guy didn’t go to bed that way. Before Lance had the opportunity to ask what exactly Keith was talking about, he was already rambling “How can you be so positive about this stuff? How can you know just what to say or how to get me to say things!? I don’t get it”

“My...family taught me a lot about dealing with different people so...maybe that’s it? Everything I know is from them...if it bothers you so much, I can stop?” Lance knew the frustration Keith was feeling had to stem from not having friends before this, from having relied solely on Shiro for so long but...it still made him worry. It was irrational, he knew it but he was afraid of messing up his friendship with Keith. Afraid of having to go to bed with nothing to fill the emptiness of the night except his thoughts. Thoughts that bombarded him with reminders of his abilities and lack thereof. It was inherently selfish. So very selfish but, he'd allowed himself to indulge and now he couldn't go back. Not couldn't, more like he didn't want to go back...and he didn't want Keith to want it either.

“No! It's... it's not that...I just...I want that” Keith lets out a sigh, his voice was so quiet that Lance wasn't even sure he heard him right. The words seemed to be caught in Keith's throat, he wanted to say more, to clarify, to take it back, anything but...nothing came out.

“A family?” Keith didn't answer.  Not that he needed to, Lance figured the silence meant he was along the right lines. Keith was just kind of...easy to read once you got to know him well enough and not to toot his own horn but, he'd gotten to know Keith pretty well. That and he was certain Keith would step in if he was wrong “Cos...you can borrow mine. I mean, not really borrow but...I’m pretty sure my family would have no problem letting you stay with us for a little bit after we get back...just so you can get the feel of it”

More silence.

It took Keith a while longer .to answer. It couldn't have been longer than a couple seconds..10 at most but, it was enough for Lance to start regretting what he had offered. It was weird, wasn't it? He wouldn't be lying if he said he'd offer the same to another teammate because he would. In a heartbeat. He'd even give up his room and sleep on the couch or floor if he had to. Heck, he'd leave the house and leave them all in his place if it came down to it“...what?”

Keith spoke...and it didn't help that he sounded so completely shocked that Lance would offer such a thing. It made Lance panic, immediately start to cover up what he had said in hopes of trying to save a friendship he thought he ruined. He tried to sound nonchalant but, he was sure the panic in his voice was as obvious as the awkward chuckle that had escaped his lips.“That’d be weird, wouldn’t it? Oh god just forget I said anything...I just kinda figured I have a big family and we’ve gotten pretty close and stuff so they wouldn't mind but I know you’re kinda awkward about this stuff so I should have thought about it before I opened my big mouth”

“Lance….” Keith trailed off, trying not to sound too eager to accept the offer. It sounded..nice? It was nice that he'd offer. Even if he half expected Lance to back off when it came to it and hand it to Allura. Then again...Lance...was so different from what he initially thought. He wasn't the kind of guy to make promises he didn't plan on keeping. He valued friendship and the only thing he valued more than that was his family.“...it's fine. I...I think that’d be cool. Beats being alone, right?”

“Arguably... If you come and stay with us for a while, you're gonna miss peace and quiet. Well...I guess they'll treat you like a king at first but, stay long enough and you'll just be an honorary McClain. I...think they'll like you, enough to just accept you right in. I give it like three days before my Mamà insists you call her that too and if Maritza and Mario can talk by then they'll probably just think you're an uncle they never met” he says, laughing at the thought of his family bombarding poor Keith with questions. A lighthearted laugh that made Keith feel things. Lance said he thought his family would like him but, the way he talked about it made it seem like he _knew_ they would.

“Really? You think that'd happen? We...talked about this before and...you said they were super accepting and stuff but...I don't know? Didn't you also say you Mamà and Abuelita are kind of religious?” he rambles, not really processing what he was saying. He hadn't been ready to admit that to Lance... _yet_ . Though Pidge had encouraged him to do so...he just wasn't ready yet. Just a little while longer as friends would be nice...before Lance got weirded out and decided it wasn't worth it anymore. It wasn't that he had a problem with religion...it was just that it typically had a problem with _him_. He was sure Lance’s family was just as incredible as he described them...but he'd rather not be kicked out of another house. Not that Lance knew about that or anyone for that matter.

“Yeah, but don't worry about it. It's not like we have pictures of Jesus everywhere and there's only one Crucifix in the living room, by my Abuelito’s picture. Plus...that's just in Cuba, at my other house it's pretty much as normal as ever. They won't shove religion down your throat or anything either like I said...really accepting” he promises, weighing the odds of what he would happen if he told Keith the story that made sure that he got the picture. He didn't understand why religion seemed...maybe it was a bad experience at a foster home? Whatever it was, Lance just wanted to ease his mind. “Uh...like...remember that thing I told you I'd tell you about later?”

“Yeah?...” Right...he had never followed up on that. He figured Lance would bring it up again and he never had...so it faded out of his memory. Lance sounded nervous though...like he wasn't too sure he should be telling this story. Keith didn't know what to make of that. “You don't have to tell me...you sound kind of uncomfortable” It was the least he could do, for all the times Lance had backed off at the slightest hint of uncomfortable on Keith's end, for the times Lance just knew when to move on.

“Ah well...Nah, it's fine. You'd have to know eventually...and it'll help you realize my family isn't the typical super religious stereotype. So...win win” _I hope_ . He pauses, hearing a soft okay from Keith before swallowing and thinking how to continue. It'd been a while since he'd told this story or been this nervous to tell it. “So...when I was fifteen, I found out something. I mean, I always kinda knew but this is kinda smacked me in the face with it and was like ‘stop ignoring this! You can't push this away forever!’ It was scary at first but, we were already at the Garrison so I figured maybe it was just that but...nah. It was scary as hell, kind of lonely I guess? I mean, I was out to Hunk and Pidge. I think...they might have been the first few people I told. Hunk was super supportive. Anyway...this is about my family. I was, scared to tell them...my brain kept saying things like ‘What if they kick you out? You're going to have to apply for Holiday Stay at the Garrison and...you don't have any money so you can't do anything. Maybe Hunk will let you go with him’ and stuff like that. At sixteen, I finally gathered the courage to do it. It was summer vacation, I called a family meeting and everything. Sit everyone down and just start crying” he feels himself laugh a bit, despite the tears forming in his eyes as he remembered everything he could “I'm like sobbing so my Mamà thought I was hurt or something happened so she was panicking and so was my Papà. They kept asking what was wrong. Just kept saying ‘Mijo! Mijito! Que pasa?’ over and over until I just blurted out ‘I like both!’ like, picture it. I'm sitting there sobbing my eyes out, my whole family thinks some ‘the bad man touched’ me kind of thing is going on and _that's_ what I say instead of ‘I'm bisexual’”

Keith was shocked...Lance _wasn't_ straight? He could have sworn...no wait that kind of made sense. He found himself laughing at picture Lance painted but, that didn't mean he was in complete shock. He couldn't get words to form properly and as much as he tried the only thing that escaped his lips was a small “You?”

“Y...yeah? Not weird right? I mean, I get it if it is but ya know, we can still be friends. I'm still me- that's what my Mamà said after too by the way. I mean they got me to explain what the heck I was talking about first but after they got the picture I was just group hugged and told it was okay. I was still Lance and they loved me- not that you have to. I mean...it's just..to show you my family...is chill” he rambles, trying his best to slow down the rapid way his mind was racing “We're cool right? Being friends isn't weird now?”

“What? No...no...it's fine...maybe better?” _I shouldn't phrase it like that_ . Keith didn't know a better way to phrase it though. He couldn't just say ‘Well, this makes my hopeless crush on you a lot less hopeless’...well he could. He just wouldn't. Being Lance’s friend would have to do because...even if they both landed on the spectrum, it didn't guarantee his feelings being returned or that being friends would even still be possible. Lance would let him down easy, he was sure of that but he didn't want their dynamic to change. He didn't want to let go of phone calls and random texts at what qualified at 3am. He was being selfish...but, he'd never wanted to hold onto something this much before. Shiro wouldn't want him to push away...pushing away was bad. He'd have to endure the thumping in his chest...Lance would find someone. Either in space or on Earth and Keith would move on. He wasn't built for relationships anyway. Lance deserved one...not that...he'd thought about it or anything. He didn't _want_ any of that with Lance. His mind was just wandering...he was too tired for this.

“Better?” Lance was confused...how could his bisexuality make a friendship better? Maybe this was Keith just trying to be nice...the guy had never had friends before let alone a gay friend. He was trying and Lance could respect that. Honestly, his brain was going to need more shelving room between the “Keith being cute” and “Keith being a good friend” sections...it was getting pretty full.

“I'm...gay” Keith couldn't stop the words as they rolled off his tongue. Well, not rolled off his tongue. It was more like they started rolling out of his mouth and choked him until he had no choice but to spit them out. He regretted it but...it wasn't like Lance would shun him for it. It just seemed like a shitty way of repaying Lance for his confession. Though...Keith didn't really have a story for coming out that was remotely positive. Not until Shiro...maybe he'd tell that story another time. It was a bit too late now anyway.

“Oh...oh...okay.. cool...nice” Surprisingly, Lance kept his composure. It was so hard and he knew he came off just a tad bit awkward but, it was better than expressing the way his heart soared at the fact. _It's possible_ , whispered a voice inside him. He could feel the little embers of his self-titled ‘cru’ crackle in his excitement though if he was being honest with himself (which he wasn't) the tiny crush had grown. He shushed the thoughts telling him to rejoice in the possibility of feelings being reciprocated because just because Keith turned out to be gay (and had completely slipped out of his gaydar- that was definitely a point he’d think about later) didn’t mean he found _Lance_ attractive.

“Yeah...so...uh…” What was left to say after this? It really shouldn’t feel this awkward. Shouldn’t having one more thing in common bring them closer as friends? Right now...it kind of felt like there was some weird barrier around them. Like the two of them were holding something back. All they could do was hope it wasn’t a form of rejection. A form of breaking up a friendship that had become a sense of stability. Why they couldn’t bring up these worries was beyond the both of them.

“Yeah…”   _God this is awkward, what did I do?_ Lance couldn’t help but blame himself. He was the one that brought this up. He could have just pretended it was one of his cousins but nooooo. Something about talking to Keith just brought the truth right out of him. He wasn’t sure if he liked that or not. Keith let out a little cough before he starting speaking again. Thank goodness he had something to say!

“Uh...I overheard I might see you guys again soon...Kolivan was talking about doing a video conference call. For battle strategy, tomorrow? So...see you then? He’s probably going to ask me to be there” Keith’s voice was slow, the lasts bits of his energy had been taken by the amount of shock he’d just felt. He tried not to yawn but, failed miserably.

“Right, yeah. See you then.” Lance caught the yawn Keith had let out, rubbing a fist over his eye in hopes to stay awake a bit longer but it had to be late. He needed sleep. They both did because...who knew what tomorrow would bring.” Night...Samurai”

“Night...Sharpshooter” The words had escaped his mouth before he had the chance to catch them. He didn’t even give Lance a chance to respond before cutting the call and shoving the communicator under his pillow. That was okay though. Lance didn’t need Keith hearing the shocked squeak that had escaped his lips, nor the fact that he had shot up in bed and almost raced to Hunk’s room before realizing the whole thing could wait for the morning.

* * *

The next morning, Lance had practically flung himself out of bed. He would have just raced outside but, instead, he got himself ready for the day. Then and only then did he book it to the kitchen. Hunk had to be there making breakfast and if he was there making breakfast that meant Pidge was probably there doing something on her laptop. “HUNK” He yelled, making a scene as he rushed through the automatic doors of the kitchen “HUNK I HAVE NEWS”

He was right, Hunk was indeed in the kitchen whisking around a purple-ish blue toned batter that had to be for pancakes. Hunk didn’t seem too surprised that Lance came bolting in, simply just looking up from his bowl to give him a questioning look. “What’s up buddy? Take a seat, I’m about to start making breakfast” Lance hears a small pat against the counter and sees Pidge asking him to join her on the counter to her right. It was his usual space so he didn’t hesitate to just jump on up, legs swinging in an excited rhythm.

“Soooo, I was talking to Keith last night” He heard Pidge’s laptop close and felt her big eyes staring up at him. Of course, she was interested now. She had this whole weird idea that he was secretly dating Keith or something, it was completely ridiculous. Ridiculous and untrue.

“Hm, late night phone calls. I see, I see” Pidge says, adjusting her glasses with a grin. Lance was sure she was making weird theories in her head...ones she would probably tell him if he didn’t shut her down as quickly as possible.

“It’s not like that! Anywaaay, Hunk! I told him! The whole bi thing...and” Lance quieted down, trying to not sound as excited as he actually was. Was excited the right word? Maybe it was happy? Happy to know that he had a friend on the spectrum just like him. Yeah. That’s what it was. “Turns out...we had more in common than you think. So, ya know. Cool stuff, right?”

“Oh, I mean I kinda figured but...you really okay bud? I don’t think that’s really helping with the whol-”

“Yup! I’m fine really. Just kinda...excited” He tried to hush Hunk, knowing what he was going to say. Sure... _maybe_ , just maybe he shouldn't be this excited. His excitement didn't have to mean anything though...it _didn't_ mean anything. He was about to get lost in those thoughts again when he heard a small snicker coming from his side “Pidge, why are you so grinny?”

“You’re happy about it, aren’t you? I told him he should have told you from day one and you would have liked him so much better” She was teasing him now...he’d expected that. Maybe...he shouldn't have just barged in here like that though if it had been just Hunk...he probably would have made an even bigger deal about it.

“Wait- YOU knew? And Hunk FIGURED?” He says, pointing a finger at the both of them as the reality of it all went through his head. Why would Keith tell _Pidge_ first? Is that why she kept insinuating things were happening between them? “Besides that, I'll have you know gays can be friends. Which we are. Just. Friends.” he says, going back to pointing at Pidge. She was grinning, honestly, it had to hurt to grin that hard right? Good. She deserved it right now.

“Mhm, bet you're excited about the conference call later. Allura came in earlier and said we're talking to the Blade later, Keith might show up” She had opened her computer back up, though she hadn't started typing again. She was too busy stifling her laughter at the redness that had spread itself onto Lance’s cheeks. Apparently, his body didn't get the whole ‘I don't think of Keith that way’ memo.

“He told me he's probably going to be there. Its whatever, really” Lance would be lying if he said he wasn't excited to see Keith again. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't fussed over his face in the mirror this morning. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't woken up this happy in a while. “How are those pancakes coming along, Hunk?” The sweet scent of them cooking had reached his nose and he was surprised to fine Hunk had already made at least a dozen. He'd been too distracted to actually smell them before. Because of Pidge...not because he was thinking about Keith and how nice it would be to see him again.

“So, you guys talk about that stuff too? And you said talk when...correct me if I'm wrong here, you usually say ‘texting Keith’” Lance regretted opening his mouth at all. Pidge was too observant, too smart for him to fool.”So, by my observation….considering how happy and non-skeptical you were about the info, you two actually stayed up talking on the phone!” Pidge practically squealed as she reached her conclusion.

“So? What if we did!? It's just easier to just talk that way” Lance sputters, tripping over his words and he tried to look somewhere other than Pidge’s face that was contorted with laughter and Hunk’s who wasn't masking his grin or the curious side-eye glances. “Anyway, pancakes! Right? They're great. Give us a pancake fact Hunk!”

Lance hadn’t successfully changed the topic of conversation though, Hunk handed both Pidge and him a half pancake and the two immediately began to say their praises. The guy was probably just throwing him a bone which Lance was grateful for. He wasn't sure how much more he could take, his ears already felt like they were burning. The thoughts were quickly whisked away as he ate his half of the pancake. Somehow, Hunk managed to recreate strawberry pancakes. They weren't actually strawberries, the batter was made with the juice and chunks of a space fruit Lance had long forgotten the name of. It was long and purple with a blue interior. It looked more like a cucumber which, was a little unnerving at first but at this point...they were all much more used to it. He remembered the day they'd first been offered the plant by one of the colonies in the Voltron Coalition. The people seemed to love them, telling the Paladins that they would be honored if they picked fruit from the patches that lined the garden. Lance had been so incredibly confused when the King, Azlor, broke the cucumber in half with his knee and offered the other half to a rather delighted looking Allura. She had been quick to take a bite, claiming that the fruit was her mother’s favorite and encouraging the Paladins to try it for themselves. Lance couldn’t remember the name of it for the life of him and now he realized it was because he wasn’t paying attention. Keith had been standing at his right, a couple of the cucumber like fruits cradled in his arms after being handed to him by some alien women that had been fawning over all of them. He’d been watching Keith. Keith had caught him and smiled a bit, holding out one of the fruits for Lance to take...so he did. Copying the movements from the King, he’d shared half with Keith and all he could remember after that was laughing and teasing Keith for liking them so much, for letting the juice dribble down his chin like a child. He’d been distracted by Keith since the beginning it seemed….and he didn’t know what to make of that.

The feeling of plates being placed in his hands brought him out of his thoughts and he looked up to find Hunk handing him two plates with a knowing smile “You busted in here, now you get to help set the table for breakfast. You too Pidge, come on. Coran’s probably getting antsy with the three of us in here without supervision” he jokes as the two jumped off the counter and followed him out. Shiro and the Princess were in the middle of a conversation. From the bit that carried over as the trio set down plates, it seemed to be about strategy. Lance didn’t think those two ever took a break. “Breakfast is served” Hunk says a bit dramatically, sitting down in his seat and waiting for everyone to take their first bite. He had the tendency of waiting for criticism before eating but, it was always praise. Well... _almost_ always.

 

“After breakfast, I need everyone to stay together. We’re going to talk to Kolivan and I need us all present in case we come up with a solid plan” Shiro was rarely this serious at breakfast, usually an announcement like this was said afterward. Of course...Shiro did seem a little off as of late so...maybe he wasn’t getting enough sleep or something. The Paladins nodded, getting to work on their pancakes in silence because talking would just make it seem like they were trying to slow down the process of the meeting.

* * *

It was weird, seeing Keith on the big screen. He tried to keep his smile to himself but, every once and a while their eyes would meet and that made it so hard not to smile...or wink but, that instinct he kept under control. The last thing he needed was Shiro talking to him about his behavior. It seemed Keith was thinking the same thing though, occasionally smiling his way before quickly smothering it with a stoic facial expression. All in all the mission sounded amazing if they could pull it off which...Lance didn’t doubt they could. They had the rebel forces helping and the Blade. Naxzela was the name of the planet, the last piece in a string of freed planets. This win was going to be an amazing one.

It was going to be an easy one too. Or so Lance thought. Shiro had said it was going to be the exact opposite but, Lance had hope. He still did, even in the heat of the battle. He was tired after almost getting stuck on the planet, sure Allura had done the work but almost dying takes a lot out of you. He was sure they were all ready for a big nap once they got back to the castle. Part of him was still in shock that they made it out at all. It was _his idea_ and it _worked_ . He was proud of himself and Allura, of course..since she kind of pulled the whole thing off. He didn’t have the time to enjoy the victory though. None of them did. It was time to move on and warn everyone that the planet was basically a bomb ready to go off. They needed to get to that ship. Keith, Matt and some other rebel squadrons were already attacking but, they weren’t getting anywhere. He could hear the buzzing over the comm, the yelling of orders and progress. _We aren’t going to make it._ _Th_ _e planet’s gonna blow and we might go with it._ Lance didn’t want to die. He wanted this mission to be successful and would do whatever it took to make it happen.

Then he heard Matt yell: _“Wait, Keith, what are you doing!?”_ , followed by _“Keith, no!”_  and Lance immediately regretted his internal dialogue. Once he realized what was actually going on, he took it back. Not by any means necessary, he hadn’t meant that. He meant in any way that guaranteed he and his friends made it out safely. Not this. He couldn’t handle a win like this. He didn’t want a win like this. It wouldn’t be a win. 

Time seemed to stop in that moment as they watched their team member, their friend, their family, launch himself toward the ship the rest of the squadrons had been trying to attack. _Keith is going to ram himself into the shields_ . Lance’s blood ran cold at the sight before him. He didn't think, he just wanted to go in after him. _Keith_ . His mind was no longer in tune with the other Paladins, causing Voltron to fall apart and the other Paladins to grumble. _Keith.Keith._ He could hear his team, his friends, yelling at him. Shiro saying something about going together. Hunk saying it wasn't safe to head out alone yet. He didn't care. The only thing in his mind right now was Keith. He was making his way over, muttering the name in his head like a mantra. _Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith_ . He needed to be okay. Why would he be making his way to the Castle of Lions? Was he hurt? He wouldn't be able to stand to see him in the healing pod. _Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith._ What had he been thinking? Hadn't Lance told him _not_ to pull a stunt like this? The guy was so stubborn, did he even listen?! He didn't like this. Red seemed to share his worry, her mumbling doing nothing to ease his panicked mind. _Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith. Keith._ Why did he do that like he was expendable? Lance wanted to blame the Blades...but that wouldn't solve anything. He finally docked Red, sprinting out of the cockpit and practically flinging himself out of the lion. “Keith! Keith, buddy, where are you!?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed! :) I know the ending probably seems kinda wonky and I'm sorry about that but...I couldn't think of a different way to write it that didn't involve describing what we already saw in the show??
> 
> If you wanna talk to me on Tumblr or something that would be cool!( https://amahmess.tumblr.com/ )


	7. I Can Finally See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance yells at Keith and they both still think their crushes aren't serious.

"Keith! Keith, buddy, where are you!?” Lance ran toward the fighter Keith had been piloting, hoping he wouldn’t find him unconscious or barely breathing. Sure, he’d escaped the blast but he was closer to it than any of them had been. Upon getting closer, the ship looked fine.  _ Thank God _ . And then he saw him, Keith, walking towards him with a confused look on his face. Lance took off his helmet, tossing it to the side so he couldn’t hear the teams chatter anymore. 

“I’m right here, Lance. Long time no see” There was a faint smile on his lips but, Lance couldn’t take the moment to melt into it, to see the fondness in his eyes or in his voice. He didn’t notice that Keith’s arms had extended outwards for a hug, just for a second before he caught himself and shoved his arms down to his sides. No, right now...Lance was mad at him. It was obvious in the war his eyebrows quirked downwards, in the way that his hands balled up at his sides and in the way his mouth was scowling. If anyone else was there, they’d think he was pulling off a pretty decent Keith impression because...there wasn’t exactly any reason for him to be  _ this _ mad at Keith. 

“Don’t ‘long time no see’ me, Mullet for brains! What the quiznak was that! Don’t ever do something like that again!” They were face to face, Lance was close enough to jab his finger into Keith’s chest plate. Ordinarily, Lance wouldn’t let himself get this close in fear of staring into Keith’s eyes for too long or looking at him too fondly but, right now he was blinded by fear induced rage. “What did I tell you about that self-sacrificing shit! But noooo, you just gotta get all brave and heroic on us, huh!?  _ Pendejo (stupid) _ ! Don’t you know we need you!?”  _ I need you _ , he thought passingly, pushing his finger into the Blade’s chest plate repeatedly. He was doing it nearly after every word. When he looked back on this later, Lance was going to laugh about how much of his mother he had seemingly manifested for this encounter “Keith, seriously! Why in the world would you think  _ that  _ was okay!  _ Casi me matas, entiendes? (you almost killed me, understand?) _ . We need to win this war, I get it but you’re just as important as the cause! Or did the Blades brainwash you? We aren’t victory or death! We’re ‘preferably no death on our side’ and don’t you tell me about necessary sacrifices because you are  _ not _ expendable. You hear me!? Voltron may be going on without you here but that doesn’t mean you aren’t missed or needed here. It doesn’t mean that you almost destroyed the only thing that could fill the Keith shaped hole you left here!” Maybe...Lance had rambled off and was talking more about himself now. Maybe, Lance was a little closer to crying than he should be. Maybe he shouldn’t be losing it like this. Maybe he shouldn’t have felt like something important was about to be ripped away from him. Maybe he shouldn't have felt like the universe was going to collapse but that wasn’t the point. He felt it. He felt it all. He couldn’t unfeel it. Even if he wanted to. If he tried, he could pass it off as friendship. If he tried, he could make the excuse that he couldn’t lose any more family than he already felt like he had because it wasn’t a lie. 

Keith was staring at him, eyes wide with shock and brows furrowing in thought. He was trying to process everything Lance had just yelled at him. It was hard because  _ Lance  _  had just  _ yelled  _  at him. Something he hadn’t done since they spent their days bickering and fighting but, it was different now. Past Lance yelled at him because he was trying to compete because he was jealous and this Lance...this Lance yelled because he cared. He was scared...apparently, the thought of losing Keith scared him  _ this much _ and Keith had no idea how to deal with that. He half expected Shiro to be the one to rush after him, not Lance. Never Lance. Sure, they were close but...that didn’t exactly mean that either of them cared this much. Caring this much...why? Why did he care? Why did either of them care? It irritated Keith...not that it was hard to do that. His eyebrows stopped furrowing, quirking downwards and his eyes hardened “You would have done the same thing, Lance. I did what I thought was best for the mission. I got lucky and I’m still here. It’s fine”

“It’s so not fine! What the hell is the Blade teaching you!? Do you not hear what you’re saying? Keith, you almost  _ died _ . You nosedived towards that ship like some kind of suicide bomber! You made us  _ glad  _  that  _ Lotor _ of all people showed up! Do you know how fucked up that is?! If he hadn’t shot at that ship, you wouldn’t be here anymore. We wouldn’t be having this conversation” Lance’s hand finally stopped poking at his chest plate only to find itself clamped tightly on Keith’s shoulder. His other hand followed soon after, he just couldn’t stop himself from doing it. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t touch Keith for this long but, right now...it kind of felt like he needed validation. To know Keith was in front of him and that it was the  _ real _ Keith and not something he was imagining. 

“I don’t see the point in having this conversation anyway. I didn’t die. I’m here. End of story.” Keith wanted to dismiss this. Not because Lance was angry at him, he understood that and was pretty used to people being mad at him but, because Lance kept  _ touching him _ . Lance was treating him like he was the most important thing in the room. How does someone that spent their life pushing away before they were pushed react to someone pulling them in? He didn’t know...was this supposed to be like the movies? Lone wolf finds an overly cheery partner that slowly melts into the core of his hard outer shell and makes him a huge softy? Everyone lives happily ever after, the end? This wasn’t a movie. This was real life. This was war. Keith wasn’t cut out for love, any kind of it. He could barely handle the joy of having friends, how was he expected to deal with a crush? A crush on someone who cared so deeply for him. A crush on someone he couldn’t push away, no matter how hard he tried. He didn’t know, so he kept trying because...if he did that... Lance might stop pulling him in.

“No! Not end of story! Keith…”  _ I almost lost you. _ His hands tightened around Keith’s shoulders. Was it a bit desperate, yes...it was. Did he care? Not right now, though later on, he might. He would feel embarrassed and stupid and unjustified. But right now, right now he was going to let it all out.“We almost lost you” 

“Why do you care” Quick and cold because maybe just maybe if he showed Lance a negative reaction he’d stop. He’d leave Keith alone and their friendship would die along with his crush. He had lived before meeting all of them, he could live like that again but, Lance was resilient. His hands that were gripping onto Keith’s shoulders loosened, pushing him backward as he let out a low and frustrated noise. 

“Because we’re friends! Because you’re the closest thing to family I have up here!”  _ Because I like you, so much. Even if I won’t admit it to myself, I like you. I want you here.  _ Lance’s hands were flailing wildly at his sides. He had always talked with his hands but his gestures had always seemed to amplify when he was angry or overjoyed. He couldn’t help himself from wagging his finger at Keith or from curling his fingers whenever he let out a frustrated grunt. “What would you have done if I pulled that, if Shiro, Hunk or Pidge pulled that! Huh? You’re gonna tell me it would have been fine? The day continues, victory be to the good guys? What kind of victory would that be if we aren’t  _ all  _ here” 

Only then did Keith see his point. Only then did Keith put himself in Lance’s shoes. Only then did he realize how badly he wanted to kiss this boy. He wanted to kiss him, kiss him with fury and passion, like it was the last kiss he’d ever have because...it very well might be. Lance would have flung himself into that ship without a second thought. Keith knew that. It wasn’t that Lance had a death wish, it was that Lance was just so...selfless. If Lance had been in that fighter….if Lance had flung himself into certain death...Keith knew he would be crushed. He’d be in much worse shape than Lance was because, to Keith...Lance was more than just like family. Lance was a feeling he didn’t understand. The hard look on Keith’s face softened and he did something that could be categorized as ‘un-Keith like’ in the eyes of someone who only knew him at face value- he hugged Lance. He flung himself at the Blue Paladin, wrapping his arms around the guy while doing his best not to bury his face in his neck “...sorry. I wasn’t thinking” 

“I know” Lance softened too, wrapping his arms around Keith and holding it for a moment. “I’m sorry for yelling...I just...I can’t lose anyone, not you...not a part of our weird space family” he explains as they pull away from each other, though neither of them really stepped away. There was something comforting about the other’s presence. “You should stay...for tonight at least. After the stunt you pulled, I doubt anyone’s gonna let you leave” He could already see the other Paladins docking and rushing to see Keith just as Lance had...just maybe not as much yelling. “I’m pretty sure Kolivan will let you, I mean...maybe? I don’t know how things run on your base but, I’m not too sure I like it” 

“I’ll...call him right now” Keith finally made the distance bigger, stepping away to open up the com line and talk to Kolivan. Lance observed, it just seemed like a whole lot of nodding and ‘yes, sir’. Lance didn’t have a whole lot of time to just appreciate the sudden calmness between them because soon after Keith had put his hood down to say if he could stay or not, the other Lions were reaching their designated places. Once the Lions landed, the team poured out and ran towards the two of them. 

“Keith! You idiot! What was that!?” Pidge yelled, running over to Keith and flinging herself onto him. Hunk followed after her, wrapping Keith into a hug as Pidge held on. It wasn’t long before everyone was pulled into the group hug. But that was fine. More than fine. They all needed it, more than they realized.

“Don’t do that again!” Hunk cried, squeezing the group just a bit too hard before letting go. There were a few groans of ‘pain’ but, no one moved. They stayed bunched together, invading each other’s bubbles with big smiles on their faces. It was nice to be together again. 

“Not planning on it” Keith says, feeling himself smile again. He missed this, he didn’t realize it but he had. He needed this.  His eyes caught Shiro’s and he half expected to find his signature disappointed look, not the small smile that had settled itself on his lips “What, no lecture?” 

“I figured Lance might have handled it for us” he teases, the knowing look in his eyes made Keith and Lance flush. Lance’s yelling had apparently been loud enough for them to hear through Lance’s discarded helmet. How much they had heard didn’t seem like a topic they were willing to disclose...but from the looks of it, it was enough. Enough to make both boys internally panic at the possible discovery of their not-so-hidden hidden feelings. 

“Pft, like he’d actually listen to me” Lance says dismissively, walking towards his helmet and holding it against his hip. “Space Dad should let him have it, go and put him in time out or something. He was basically arguing with me the entire time. That mullet’s probably obstructing his hearing or something” 

“I think you’re more effective than you think, Lance” Pidge says, taking off her own helmet to set her glasses on her face. It was almost like she couldn’t mention this kind of thing without pushing her glasses up. Like she  _ knew  _  the points she was making were more than just assumptions. Lance knew she was just teasing. She had to be.“From what we could hear, you let him have it. A lot nicer than I would have anyway but, maybe not as nice as Hunk would have. He's smiling now too AND just agreed to not pulling that again. So, if you ask me, the Keith whisperer has struck again” 

“I would have cried man, you know that. I kinda wanna cry right now” Hunk admits, fanning his eyes a bit before wiping the small tears that had formed in the corner of his eyes. “It’s been a while since we’ve group hugged like that. Feels good, man. Real good” 

“Yeah, like a family reunion” Lance agrees, smiling to himself at the thought and dismissing the Keith whisperer comment-he really didn't need to think of Keith more than he already had. He knew most of them were close to crying, only keeping it together because they were together and that was worth celebrating, not crying about. “We should have a mini party! To celebrate! Movie night!” he gasps, getting riled up before realizing that Keith might have to leave. It wouldn’t be fair to continue the celebration without him...that and Lance didn’t think he could put up a happy facade if he left. The rest of the team seemed to think it was a good idea, slowly turning their heads to Keith. 

“Kolivan said he’d call me when he wants me back. Something about taking a moment to relax...so I think that means I have until tomorrow” he says, heart full from just the fact that they were taking him into consideration. His heart felt about ready to explode...it was a while since he'd felt this happy. It'd been a while since he smiled this hard at something that that wasn't Lance related. He liked it, as much as he wanted to push away he couldn’t deny how good it felt. How amazing it was to be so noticeably loved by his friends, by his  _ family _ . He understood why Lance, Pidge and Hunk wanted to go back to their families...if this is what it felt like and even though he had been adamant on pushing away minutes earlier, he could feel himself being pulled back in. “So...I guess I can stay for a while”

“Awesome! Great! Okay! First I vote we all shower cos I’m pretty sure we all reek” Lance says, running his hands through his hair and grimacing at how greasy it felt. Sure, the suits themselves were self-cleaning but, he wasn’t. Pidge gave him a hint of a grin, adjusting her glasses before looking at the rest of the team. He knew what she was insinuating and it had NOTHING to do with Keith. If there was one thing Lance prided himself in, it was his incredible hygiene. He liked getting clean. He liked smelling nice. And it was NOT for the pretty boy he’d just stopped yelling at...him being there was just a plus. 

“Right, because Loverboy Lance can’t be caught having helmet hair” Pidge says, eyeing him from her peripheral vision and full on grinning again. Lance wanted to scream at her, tell her it wasn’t like that but...he couldn’t do that. Not in front of Keith at least...just in case he got the wrong idea, just in case he figured out Lance’s baby crush. He couldn’t have that. He’d lose a friendship and the thought of metaphorically losing him hurt just as much as the thought of physically losing him.  _ Bad thoughts. Not right now. Right now is happy time. Fun time. Don’t ruin this.  _

“I have a reputation to uphold and I’d like to keep it that way” Lance says, making his way out an towards the direction of their rooms. He pushed down the part of him that wanted to call Keith to him. What good would that do? How would that look? It was too obvious...even if right now he wanted Keith’s attention. Keith needs the  _ team _ , not just him. Keith leaned on him when there wasn’t anyone else to prop him up...and Lance pretty much did the same thing. He couldn’t be angry at the fact that Keith wanted to hang around the others, he understood it but...maybe...just maybe he was a little bit jealous. He just hoped a shower would wash away the feeling. 

* * *

Lance had been right about the shower, the warm water had helped soothe him and ground him into reality. He was letting his hair air dry, ruffling it lightly with a towel before tossing the towel onto his bed. He’d be good now, with the slight jealousy that had bubbled inside him popped and replaced with the genuine good feeling the team being happy and together brought. He stretched a bit, feeling his back pop as his shirt rode up his torso. That’s when he heard a knock. He smoothed down his shirt and pressed a palm into the doors scanner “Yeah? What’s up?” It was Keith.

“So. apparently Pidge took over my room” He starts to explain, though he couldn’t bring himself to look at Lance “She put a bunch of her projects in there and moved some of her piles...so I can’t really get into my shower. Her room’s too much of a mess for me to get into her’s and I think Hunk’s still in his…”  _ Not to mention I’d feel too awkward to ask anyone else. Even this is awkward _ . He displayed the towel and clothing in his hands as if that was supposed to answer all of Lance’s questions. 

“Oh, you need to use mine? Sure, no problem man. Just don’t clog the drain with your mullet hair” He stepped aside, trying to ignore the freak out that was happening in his head because  _ of course _ this would happen to him and  _ of course _ it had to be right when he figured out how to get over this silly thing. “I can head out if that makes you more comfortable, I was just gonna mess around on my communicator anyway. Pidge managed to import songs from my phone onto it and she gave me her headphones so, I can just go listen to music in the common room” He really didn’t want to think about Keith being shirtless in his shower. He really  _ really  _ didn’t want to think about that. Not because it disgusted him...on the contrary, it did anything but that...it just was too much. Too much for one day. Too many realizations for one day. Not that it had to  _ mean _ anything. He thought plenty of people were attractive and didn’t feel anything for them. It was perfectly fine and perfectly normal. Still...part of him was sure Pidge had done this on purpose and he was so going to get her back for it.  

“S’cool, don’t let me stop you from doing whatever you were doing. I’m going to be quick, promise” he says, ducking into the bathroom before Lance could argue. Keith didn’t want ot admit that he wanting Lance near, especially because right now there was no reason to have him near. Pidge mildly inconveniencing him turned out to be a good thing...in a sense. Awkward but good. He was pretty sure Pidge had done it on purpose, somehow...not that he was angry at her for it. He just hoped it wasn’t obvious. That he wasn’t obvious. And maybe...just maybe if he smelled just a bit like Lance...it would be so much easier to stay away from him. Maybe…it was worth a shot. Anything to make the hours to come a bit more bearable. Keith couldn’t help but analyze his situation with Lance while in the shower and from where he stood...the entire thing seemed a bit hopeless. If Lace had really been interested in him...Lance would be flirting and they clearly weren’t. Or at least he thought...he knew what Lance flirting was like and well it was very different from their interactions. 

As Keith busied him in the shower, Lance really was left with no excuse to leave so he laid himself down on his bed, plugging in his headphones and playing some music. Spanish music, upbeat and rhythmic. The kind of music that shook through his core and made him want to dance but, he didn’t. Instead, he sang along softly, moving his body to the beat in small subtle ways as he closed his eyes. He’d done this before and it was a great distraction. He’d take anything that kept him from thinking about Keith. Although, maybe it worked a bit too well. Lance had been so lost in the music that he failed to notice when Keith stepped out of the bathroom, towel around his shoulders and Blade uniform in his hands. He didn’t notice Keith staring at him until there was a lull between songs and he didn’t hear the shower running. “Something wrong?” He asks, sitting up and pulling the headphones down to his neck. 

“Oh..ah...no...you just...you...sing good” Keith says, feeling the blush creep up his cheeks. He hadn’t meant to stare. He had meant to just leave immediately after he took his shower. Leave and not look back that Lance. Leave and try not to flush at the small hints of coconut he could smell every time he moved his head but, no. Lance had to be singing. Lance just had to entrance him with his voice and the calm look on his face, with the small movements of his hips. He had just been captivated. Lance could be so...pretty sometimes. Especially when he was just lost in his own world, especially right now. 

“Oh...me? Hah...nah, if you want to hear a voice, you should hear my cousin Luis sing. The guy has the voice of an angel. Shame Abuelito didn’t teach him as much” Lance says, scratching at the back of his neck “But...thanks.” 

“Yeah...so you heading out? Hunk said he was going to make a special dinner” Keith says, trying to get the awkward out of the conversation. He didn’t like having awkward conversations with Lance...they knew each other too well for that. Or. at least he thought so. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll head out with you right now...you can go ahead and leave your uniform here. Better than putting it in your room, right? It might get lost in the piles” He was teasing, trying to get into the rhythm of how things went when Keith was actually there in front of him. He was pointing at an empty spot at the end of his desk...it wasn't like he really had much in his room anyway. Keith nodded, quickly doing as he was told as Lance stepped out of his room. Dinner was going to be amazing, they were all going to officially be all together at the dinner table for the first time in...a long time. Honestly, Lance didn't know...though it had to be for the space equivalent of months. 

* * *

Dinner was relatively uneventful. Keith had been bombarded with questions about the Blade and how the inner workings of their training went but, Keith had just smiled and said it was “Classified”. Lance got the feeling it was just something he had always wanted to say but, only just had the opportunity to do so. That was fine, they had all found Keith’s smug grin amusing and a welcomed change from the scowling he had done before. Now, they were all crammed onto the couch. Coran and Allura were on the leftmost side, with Pidge to the left of the Princess and Hunk right beside her, followed by Hunk, Keith and then Shiro. Blankets were thrown about and a plate of cookies was being passed around the group. It was nice, the alien movie playing on the screen seemed to be a comedy and judging by the way Allura was laughing...it was funnier in whatever language the fluffy, almost bird-like creatures spoke. The jokes just seemed to fall flat in English and left the Paladins more tired than they were before. After the fifth time someone yawned, Shiro called it.

“Alright, Paladins. I think it's time we all went to bed. We had a big day today and who knows what we’re going to do after training tomorrow” he says, standing up and stretching. The rest of them groaned, minus Allura and Coran. Coran seemed to already be asleep and Allura was too entertained to actually pay attention to the rest of them. 

“Hunk….carry me” Pidge says, lifting her arms up like a small child. Lance couldn’t help but laugh a bit. It reminded him of home...which right now didn’t hurt all that much. Not when they had all just hung out together. 

“Ugh fine, but you have to clean up after our project next time” Hunk says, facing his back toward Pidge to let her climb on before standing “You guys coming?” He says. Looking down at Lance and Keith. Shiro had already started to walk off and...there really wasn’t a point in staying and watching a movie he didn’t find funny so, Lance nodded. Once he was up, Keith followed after and the four of them were off to their respected rooms. Lance helped Hunk tuck Pidge into bed, per their usual routine before letting the guy off to his room. He was surprised to find Keith lingering in the hall still, brows furrowed and chewing on his lip. 

“Not tired?” Lance asked, figuring it might take some time for him to want to fall asleep. He was used to talking to him pretty late into the night anyway. Though….that wouldn’t be very possible at the moment. He just didn’t want to give Pidge more fuel than she already had. The little gremlin was bound to take everything out of context or..give it some sort of different meaning. It was fine, he could take the teasing but...just not in front of Keith. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Pidge to keep it in a safe range, he didn’t trust himself enough to say he wouldn’t make a fool of himself.

“It’s not that...I think I might have to go back to the common room and sleep there but, I don’t want to kick Allura out” He says, looking back at the direction they had just come from. Right...his room was full of Pidge’s stuff.  Allura’s giggles were muffled but, could still be heard...it’d been a while since they heard the princess that happy. Lance understood his hesitation, he probably would have just made himself a bed in the hallway. If he would do it...Keith probably would too but, that didn’t sit right with Lance. He didn’t want any of his friends sleeping in the hallway. 

“Oh...well, if you want you can crash with me” Lance says, already opening his door and walking in. “You can take the bed. I’ll….hm...make a bed on the floor using pillows and blankets or something” he says, walking to the far corner of the room and shuffling through the drawers to find something to use as padding. He could hear Pidge’s snickers in the back of his mind but, quickly shushed them with the fact that he would do this for  _ anyone _ .    
  
“I can’t take your bed, Lance. Let me sleep on the floor” Keith hadn’t followed him inside of the room because walking in meant accepting Lance’s request. It wasn’t that he  _ didn’t _ want to sleep in the same room as Lance, it was the fact that he would be kicking Lance out of his own bed “Just help me find some extra pillows and I’ll sleep out here”

“Uh, no. You’re the guest. Guests get the bed” Lance insists, finding an extra blanket in his drawer and pulling it out. It was handmade. A gift from an alien family after Lance had shot the sentry coming after them. He’d kept it, even though Allura had told them not to accept gifts because the little girl reminded him of Josie. Of course, she didn’t actually look like her...she just had the same style pigtails and toothy grin. The same way of waving at him wildly as he left. He was such a softy, even he knew it but...even if it was just for a moment, it was like being back home again. There was a weird comfort in knowing he had saved someone that reminded him of his family, in some weird way it was almost like he had saved her. Protected her. Like he wished he could be doing right now.

“Lance” Keith was crossing his arms in front of him, obviously a little annoyed that Lance refused to give in and just help him make a little nest for himself in the hallway. 

“Keith” He says, setting down the blanket and putting his hands on his hips. He wasn’t backing down from this “I’ll go to Hunk’s and sleep on his floor if it bothers you so much. You won’t have to see it so you won’t have to worry about it” 

“Lance, seriously” Keith was pinching the bridge of his nose now “I can’t just take over your room. You sleep here, I’ll sleep in the hallway” 

“I am being serious! Don’t think that I’ll let you sleep on the floor, not even for a second. Heck, I’d rather share the bed than let you do that” He wasn’t going to admit it but, he really would prefer to share the bed. At the very least share the room. That way they could talk, just like he’d gotten so used to doing. He couldn’t text the guy if he was in the hallway...that would seem weird, right? But, offering to share the bed was also weird.  _ Why did I say that!? Now he probably thinks I’m a weirdo! _

“Okay” Quiet and shy with arms still crossed over his chest but, Keith agreed. He ignored the small glimmer of hope that made his heart skip a beat because this wasn’t him getting lucky with the guy he liked. This wasn’t the guy he liked offering to cuddle with him. It was just who Lance was. Lance was kind and thoughtful and...probably shared the bed with people in his family so it didn’t mean anything to him. It was just something he did for family. _ This doesn't have to mean anything _ .  

“Okay, what?” Did...did Keith just agree to share the bed with him? Okay...so it wasn’t weird. Right, nope. It didn’t mean anything. Lance shared the bed with his siblings and cousins all the time. Not even just the little ones, sometimes he shared the bed with Marco if he decided to come over with the family. Sara would sleep in the bed with the twins and Lance and Marco would share, it was fine. This was just like that. He just had to pretend Keith was Marco...or Luis, Mario or even Hunk. He’d shared the bed with Hunk before and that hadn’t been weird. 

“...Sharing” Keith says again, finally stepping into the room. Why was he doing this? Maybe because he was gay and hated himself. He knew nothing good would come out of this. He knew it wouldn’t end well for this little crush he was supposedly trying to get rid of.  _ So much for getting over him. Maybe...just for tonight. _ “....I’m not going to sleep if you don’t have a bed” 

“Fine...just...push me off if I bug you too much or something” Lance says, pulling the covers off his bed and motioning for Keith to get in. He could feel his heartbeat climbing and tried to shake it off by walking to the door and locking it. The last thing he needed was someone- _ Pidge _ \- walking in and getting photographic evidence of this. Not that it would be a bad thing to have a picture of it...just...he knew the endless teasing he was going to have to go through the minute Keith stepped out of the castle. 

“Yeah, will do.” Keith says, climbing into the bed and making himself comfortable against the wall. It smelled overwhelmingly of Lance. The soft coconut smell hitting his nose every time he moved, enveloping him alongside an earthy tone...probably from one of his skin care products. Whatever it was, it was too much Lance. So much so that it was all his brain could think of. Just a small chant of  _ Lance, Lance Lance. _ “Uh...so...I’ve never shared a bed before” He says, facing the ceiling and running his fingers through his bangs. Maybe if they talked, he would forget. 

“It’s nothing special. I do it with family and friends all the time. It’s basically ‘let’s try not to roll over and suffocate each other’, fun game right?” he jokes, picking up the blanket he had set down to cover himself up with. The last thing the needed right now was to accidentally end up a tangled mess of limbs with Keith. He unfolded the blanket before taking the place next to Keith...with a respectable distance between them of course. 

“Yeah, sounds super fun” Keith says, laughing a bit as he felt the awkwardness melt away.

“It’s not that bad. You get used to it after a while. I’ve had years of practice, you’re in good hands” He boasts, hoping this wasn’t going to be one of the times he unconsciously starfished himself across the bed. He was telling the truth, he was usually fine whenever he shared the bed but….right now he was just so nervous. 

“Good, because I don’t want to die” 

“That’s a whole different story than earlier you was preaching” He says, turning his head to look at Keith. 

“That…” Their eyes locked for a moment and he trailed off. He hadn’t meant to but...the words just sort of died off in his throat. 

“I know. I’m just teasing. Ya know, you should stop by sometime again. Like whatever qualifies as weekends, just two days? It’ll be like a divorce, school days with mom and weekends with Dad” he jokes, laughing a bit too hard at his analogy. It wasn’t funny, he knew that...if anything it was somewhat offensive but, he was tired. He tended to make stupid jokes when he was tired and he tended to make jokes when he was nervous...two things he was at the moment. 

“I could ask...it sounds good. I didn’t realize how much I missed you guys until I actually saw all of you guys” He says, thinking of a way to ask Kolivan. It seemed possible...if he didn’t slack off on his training and maybe did a couple chores or put in a little extra work back at the base...it could work out. Plus, he’d get to see everyone more often. 

“Yeah, yeah. It’d be cool. We could totally hang out or you could go with me! On a mission, Coran makes me go on supply runs with him which is cool and all but it could totally just be an excuse you can give to Kolivan” he says, eyes widening at the realization “I mean, you don't have to actually go. It just sounds more official” 

“Uhmmm...I guess I could just say that Coran and Allura are busy finding planets to free or doing Coalition stuff...Shiro is doing battle strategy, and Hunk is working on updating the castle and other things with Pidge so, you guys need another one to help you out with missions” he says, thinking about how that would go “Mn...supply runs sounds too basic. Scouting? Seeing how bad the Galra situation is? Or answering questions for the Coalition?” 

“Yeah, yeah that works” Lance says, a grin forming on his lips “Hey, Keith?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Did you ever think we'd be coming up with a lie to tell a big alien so you could come hang out with me...us I mean?” he says, saying it like it was the most amusing thing because, it kind of was. The big defenders of the universe had to lie in order to hang out. That...that was hilarious. 

“Nope...honestly once we shot into space in Blue, pretty much my whole life plan went out the window”  _ Not that I really had one _ , he thought. Because, in his mind...he was eventually just going to rot in his shack angry and alone. Maybe this wasn't the best alternative but...at least he wasn't alone now.

“You got that right….eh probably for the best anyway”  _ I wouldn't have been friends with you if we stayed _ . Yeah, maybe this wasn't what he wanted to do with his life or had planned to ever do with his life but it was his life now. As lonely as space could get, he was getting used to it and...moments like this made it a little more worth it.  “Ugh... I’m too tired to think about all that philosophical stuff right now...Night Mullet, try not to kill me in my sleep” 

“Good night, Lance” Keith says, a smile forming on his lips as he scooted onto his side. He slept better if he curled up a bit and...it put more space between him and Lance. And maybe...just maybe he wanted to look at Lance’s sleeping face for a moment before he closed his own eyes. Maybe...and if it was because of that,  _ it didn't need to mean anything _ and Lance definitely didn't have to know. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)   
> Honestly writing this makes me laugh bc they're both just so...dense in their own special ways.


	8. You're As Fucked Up As Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Platonic cuddling is totally a thing bros do. Just bros being bros. Pals being pals. Dudes being dudes. Friends that totally don't think about kissing or anything like that.

Lance was by no means an early riser when it came to waking up on his own, Keith however had a strong internal clock. Strong enough that he’d wake up at what was 6:30 am on Earth, not by choice...it was a habit from his youth that he had never been able to shake off. 6:30 am was the time his father had woken him up for years. Sometimes he could hear his father’s voice, deep and quiet as he whispered  _ “Keith, its time ya get ready for school. See you tonight, love you”  _ before placing a soft kiss on his hairline. Sometimes, he could feel the phantom kiss. And he missed it everytime. He missed watching his father leave as he poured himself a bowl of cereal. He missed the little notes in his lunch bag...even when he’d felt a little too old for them. He missed his father because, he was the most positive figure in his life before Shiro. There was so much in him to admire. Like the fact that his father worked early so he could come home earlier. So he could have dinner with his son, even if it wasn’t necessarily a homemade nutritious meal every time. How he tried so hard so they could try to build a home in this new town, away from the shack that reminded his father a bit too much of his time with Keith’s mother- something he would never admit to his son but Keith was observant. He knew they moved from place to place because, his father couldn’t handle staying in one place. Because, constantly moving kept him from finding someone else- a replacement, a rebound and not because this or the next station paid better. His father had never been a good liar. But that was okay, Keith had always admired him for it...he still admired him for it. So, even though the time haunts him years after, Keith couldn’t bring himself to be angry about it. Now, he was used to waking up early and just resting in his bed if he didn’t actually have to get up that early or just didn’t want to bother getting out of bed. Right now, he didn’t want to get up. So, he snuggled into what he assumed to be his pillow- the events of the night before forgotten to his sleepy brain and muddled by memories of sleeping in on Sunday mornings with his father. He didn’t register Lance’s soft breathing until he realized his pillow was moving, softly rising up and down in time with inhales of breath that weren’t his own. He slowly opened his eyes, his vision landing on Lance’s peaceful sleeping face and trailing down to where his arm was wrapped snugly around the other male’s waist. It was only then that Keith noticed the arm wrapped around his own waist and the fact that he was pressed so tightly against Lance he was practically on his chest.  _ What...the fuck? _ Keith swore he’d gone to bed with his back pressed against the wall and that Lance had kept his distance. So...how? How did he end up in this situation? Why did he have to be the first one to wake up? Keith closed his eyes again, he couldn’t handle looking at Lance this up close this early in the morning. He never thought he’d be subjected to seeing Lance this close, so close he could count the faint freckles on his face if he wanted to, this early in the morning  _ ever _ . Keith let out a small breath, maybe he could roll away and if he rolled away he could pretend like it never happened and fall back into a peaceful sleep. A sleep that will let him pass this off as some sort of weird dream. 

Yeah...yeah that was the better idea. So, Keith did what he found to be logical in his head. He moved his arm off of Lance’s waist, slowly and carefully, before detaching Lance’s arm from around his waist and rolled over. There wasn’t much room in the bed so, it ended with Keith pressed flat against the wall as he tried to inch Lance’s fingertips out from underneath him. For a moment, it seemed to have worked...until Lance shifted on his side with a sleepy mumble and attached his other arm around Keith. Keith let out a sigh because,  _  of course he was a cuddler _ . His mind was coming up with another escape plan because, if he pressed closer to the wall he could probably wiggle himself down to the foot of the bed and curl up there. Maybe he could even step over Lance and make his way to the training de- his mind went blank. One of Lance’s long legs had made a home right on top of Keith’s, evidently trapping him. Keith’s heart stopped momentarily as Lance’s face snuggled into the back of his head. Any plan of escape was tuned out by a repeated  _ Lance. Lance. Lance. Lance. Lance.  _ His senses were just overwhelmed with  _ Lance. _ He could only smell the softness of coconut mixed with an Earthy musk- much like the smell that radiates in the air before it rains. He could only feel Lance, the weight of his limbs on top of him and the way his chest rose and fell with each breath. He could only hear Lance’s soft breathing and sleepy murmuring. And even though his eyes were closed, he could only see Lance. He wanted to fight it. To push off and wake Lance up and ask him what exactly he thought he was doing but...Keith had to admit that being held like this, was nice. It was warm. Lance was holding him like he didn’t want to let go….in a way that Keith had never let himself fully fantasize about in fear of becoming addicted to the feeling it might give him because, he’d never liked someone  _ this _ much. No one had made him feel  _ this wanted _ . His body should be tense instead of sinking back into Lance with a feigned sense of familiarity, he shouldn’t be smiling to himself and he definitely shouldn’t be succumbing to the feel of the Cuban boy beside him. Yet, here he was, ignoring every rule he had ever set for himself. Here he was, so weak for a boy he had no chance with. Weak for a boy that didn’t see him as anything more than family but, if that’s all he got...that was okay. For now, it was fine. For now, he’d let himself revel in this feeling. Embrace it because, a taste of what he could never have should be enough to satisfy the hunger that was building up inside of him. He couldn’t have Lance but right now, he could pretend like he did. So, Keith let himself fall back to sleep wedged between the wall and his hopeless crush because somehow the feeling managed to hit the snooze button on his internal clock.

_ Maybe this isn’t as scary as I thought _ , he thinks before his thoughts fade to black. He dreams of his father. Of seeing him again. Of introducing him to Lance. His father would like him, or so his subconscious mind seems to think. Lance is courageous, in his own way and selfless. He's heroic...maybe not in the traditional sense-in the sense that people thought of when they labeled Shiro but Keith knows he is at his core. His father would have appreciated that, especially once he saw through Lance’s self-absorbed exterior and saw that inside he was kind. Too kind, if possible. It wasn't in obvious ways, like Hunk who immediately radiated love and acceptance. It was subtle at first, like a wave lapping at the shoreline before washing it over. Lance was smart too, even if he was passed off as the dumb one half the time. He was so much more than people gave him credit for and he knew his father would see it. His father saw it in everyone. His dream wandered and relished in the thought of Lance and his father getting along, of  _ approval.  _ He could see it so perfectly...if the universe had just been kinder to his father, then it could be true. He wanted it. He hadn't known it but, he did and he didn't know how to unwant it. It was okay though because, he had time to figure it out. Because, what no one knows can't be used against him. Because Lance was pressed against him right then and there, so close and peaceful. Because, what Lance didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Because, these thoughts didn't have to mean anything.

* * *

Lance woke up about about four hours later to the sensation of something tickling his nose. In his groggy state, all he could do was hope it wasn’t the space mice again because the last time they had snuck into his room they had crawled onto his bed and he’d almost squashed them when he rolled over. He let out a sigh, opening his eyes slowly before processing the fact that he felt warm and they he could hear breathing that wasn’t his own.  _ Keith _ .  Lance’s brain went into a panic because on one hand...Keith hadn’t pushed him away. If anything, Keith was  _ leaning into him _ but...on the other hand he didn’t want to be caught in an awkward situation. His arm was tightly wrapped around Keith’s middle but, if that wasn’t enough, one of Keith’s hands was keeping his in place. Not to mention that their legs were now a tangled pile under the covers...moving would definitely wake him up. Not that he wanted to move. Oh Lord no, he wanted to stay there more than anything. He wanted to indulge his little crush and nuzzle into the Blade’s terrible mullet, to keep his arms around the boy that was once his rival, to just for once let himself pretend like they could be something more. He wanted to revel in the fact that Keith looked so undeniably happy and peaceful, like he belonged. Lance wanted him to belong there, in his arms but, this boy was a wildfire. This boy was blazing and wild, unattainable, unreachable...unrealistic for a guy like him. This boy deserved so much yet, he asked for so little. He wanted Keith to be a boy he could introduce to his family and...in essence he was, he would...just as a friend. They would like him, see through his tough exterior and see the kind and loyal person he was. They would see how much he valued family, despite not having one himself. They would see his temper and realize it stemmed from a place of fear and a place of passionate determination. They’d love him. Lance knew that. He could hear his Mamá asking him why he hadn’t tried to make this boy his own, his Papá asking him what he thought of Keith in a way that implied he actually liked him, his Abuelita planning a wedding with Veronica that wouldn’t exist and he could see the kids- if they were still kids by the time they got back- taking a liking to him too. That was the thing, Lance could see so much, he could hope for so much and it always happened the instant his heart felt the tiniest spark of feelings.

His Mamá always said he had  _ un corazón de pollo (heart of a chicken) _ because, he was naive. Because he wore his heart on his sleeve and was so willing to love that he just let his brain get swept away with ideas. He couldn’t do that now. He shouldn't do that now. As much he wanted to pretend Keith belonged there, denying it was better. Denying it was easier than heartbreak. Denying it meant there was no rejection because there was nothing to reject. So, instead of letting himself sit there and fall into some sort of naive fantasy...he spoke “Hey...Keith, buddy?” he whispered softly, ignoring the feeling in his chest as he watch Keith’s nose twitch and eyes flutter “Keith, time to wake up” It took a second after the second time he called out but, Keith’s eyes fluttered open and his head turned slightly.  _ He’s so close _ . Eyes focused on each other and Lance could feel the warmth begin to pool at his cheeks. “Morning, Mullet. Kind of need you to let go” 

“....Lance? What...?” Keith had forgotten where he was again but Lance’s breath against his ear quickly reminded him of the position he had fallen asleep in. Keith really hadn’t meant to hold Lance’s hands in place but, here he was... doing exactly that. Holding Lance’s arms to himself like they belong against his chest, like a scared child unwilling to let go of their beloved teddy bear, like he was comforted by the presence. It wasn’t far from the truth, he was. He was so very comforted by Lance’s presence but, that didn't matter. It couldn’t matter and because of that, he let go as quickly as he could.  “Sorry...I didn’t mean to” 

“Don’t worry about it man, it was probably my fault” Lance says, rolling over once Keith let go of his hands. As much as he wanted to keep a hold on Keith...he didn’t want to make this weirder than it had to be “I can get real clingy when I sleep when I’m homesick. I kinda forgot about that...It’s funny though. Back when we first started at the Garrison, it used to happen a lot so I used to cling onto Hunk...when we got close anyway, he liked cuddling...reminded him of home too. I don’t even remember my dream so...it was either that or a nightmare...maybe you had one too” 

“Yeah...probably. Yesterday was kinda stressful” He lied, he lied through his teeth because he couldn’t tell Lance he’d just woken up from the best dream he’s had in a long time. That he almost wished he could fall back to sleep again so he could sink back into a life where Lance was his. That he wanted to go back into their sleeping positions because he’d become addicted. One taste was too much. One taste was heavenly. One taste had been a mistake. 

“Almost dying sounds like it might be kinda stressful” Lance agrees, a smile playing on his lips as he sat up and ran a hand through his hair. “I would know….yesterday was so not fun but….nothing a little platonic cuddling can’t fix right?” _Lance, no don’t bring it up anymore. It’s weird. He thinks it’s weird. It doesn’t matter if it felt great. It doesn’t matter that you want to do it again. Lance, you can’t lose him like this._ Keith was sitting up now, his hair a wild mess that would be cute _if_ Lance had feelings. But, he didn’t so his heart didn’t urge him to reach out and flatten his hair or reach out and pick at the sleep that had nestled itself in the inner corners of his eyes. His heart was most definitely _not_ beating a mile a minute. His body most definitely _did_ _not_ miss the warmth of Keith’s body or the tickle of his hair against his chin and nose. 

“Platonic cuddling?” 

“Ya, that’s what Hunk and I called it. Just two bros making each other feel better with cuddles. It’s what friends do- girls do it at least. Veronica used to do it with her friends when they came over for sleepovers, I can’t see why guys can’t do the same thing” Lance explains, hoping his need for an excuse wasn’t showing. He wasn’t lying about the things he said, it just wasn’t the truth as to why he had held onto Keith so tightly, so willingly. 

“Yeah...guess so...at least I didn’t kill you in your sleep” Keith jokes, remembering the last thing Lance had said to him before he had gone to bed as he tried to get the awkwardness out of his voice with a yawn. His hands reached out to comb through his hair, raking the wild strands into place. Lance stared at him for a bit before getting up and stretching. He did his best not to look but, it was hard to miss the shirt starting to ride up and expose his midriff. He didn’t want to look but there was nowhere else to look and it wasn’t like anyone could catch him anyway.

Lance laughed a bit, nodding his head. A joke was good. A joke meant things weren’t entirely weird. “Right, thanks for sparing me. Anyway...gonna go brush my teeth...you can use my bathroom after if you need to” Lance couldn’t bring himself to look at Keith. He couldn't….shouldn’t’ burn the image of the unattainable in his bed so, he busied himself with picking out clothes for the day and rushing himself into the restroom. He didn’t take long if anything...the faster they were out of the room the faster they could just never speak about this incident again. The faster Lance didn’t feel like he had to make up for the silence with babbling. The faster they left, the sooner the silence could go back to being comfortable. The sooner their dynamic would be back. “Hunk’s probably making breakfast...you staying?” Lance says, shrugging on his jacket to find Keith picking up his Blade uniform from the shelf he has left it on the day before. 

“Probably...I’ll have to keep my com open just in case. I’m assuming he’s only giving me last night and today” He messes with the parts of his uniform, pressing his fingers into the coolness of his chest plate to distract himself “Do you have an extra toothbrush? I don’t feel like almost dying and getting mine. Just getting pajamas yesterday was hell” 

“Yeah, in one of the drawers” Lance says, walking over to his bed to pull on his shoes and really trying not to let his mind wander and realize how natural the whole situation felt. How they naturally moved around each other, naturally fell into a rhythm even when in the heat of battle. They didn’t have to think, it just clicked and Lance really really didn’t want to think about that. Especially not after sharing a bed with him. Just one thing at a time. If he let the thoughts fade, eventually they would stop coming. Eventually, he would have nothing to think about except what Hunk was making for breakfast. Keith didn’t take long in the restroom, coming out in full uniform- a sight that shouldn’t be stunning. But, it was. It was absolutely breathtaking. Lance had to hand it to the Blades, their personalities were stoic and they were entirely driven by the cause (which was completely fine...it was safe to say they all were, Lance just thought it best to have a laugh every once and a while.) but,  _ damn _ could they design a good uniform. Had Lance seen this uniform before? Yes, hundreds if times. But,  _ never _ had he seen it this intimately. Never had he imagined it stepping out of  _ his _ bathroom so nonchalantly. Sure, he’d seen it on Keith more times than he could count but, that was out in the open. Out where his brain immediately shut off all thoughts of Keith and simply chanted:  _ We need to make it out of this alive _ . He wasn’t sure if he was going to make it out of this alive. This was tearing him apart inside. Going from feeling to telling himself he didn’t feel it and actually forgetting about it just to be hit in the face with the beating of his heart all over again. It wasn’t healthy, he knew that but he couldn’t ruin this. Ruin something so nice. Ruin the team. 

“You ready? I don’t have any messages from the base yet….I’ll probably call once we’re done with breakfast, just to make sure” Keith says, adjusting his chest plate. He’d be wearing normal clothes if he had known he was staying for this long but...for all he knew he would be leaving soon. It was just easier to be prepared rather than not and risk looking like a slacker.

“Sounds good. We better get going before they come looking for us or something” Lance stood and went by the door, pressing his hand against the lock to keep his door unlocked after they left. “After you” he says, bowing a bit as the doors opened to let Keith know he should pass first. It had nothing to do with wanting to admire Keith’s figure from behind for a second. It definitely had nothing to do with that. Lance’s eyes definitely did not trace the curves that make up Keith’s body for a brief moment before moving his body was next to his in the hallway. He definitely didn’t have to forcibly walk ahead or beside the Blade to keep himself from doing it again. Nope, not at all. It was just a normal stroll to the dining room. “I wonder what Hunk made today….unless we’re having goo in honor of you being back” 

“Oh, yeah because I’d love to have some goo. Nothing says ‘we missed having you around’ like food goo” Keith snickers, rolling his eyes before making the mistake of looking at Lance. Keith was suffering in this too, something in him was just urging him to grab hold of Lance’s hand. Intertwine their fingers and squeeze. He was having the same inner fight as Lance. A fight that he had to win because he couldn’t risk not having a place to come back to anymore. He needed them, the team, more than he thought and making things weird with Lance meant that he wouldn’t be able to have that. It would be awkward and weird. He wouldn’t make the team chose sides on who to comfort or talk to. He would rather just leave. Which would have been fine before but….now...he never wanted to leave again. Especially now that he was going to ask Kolivan if he could come over for two days a week….he needed this form of salvation. 

“Hey, the Castle works very hard on that goo!” Lance says in fake offense, hand over his chest and mouth agape like some sort of Southern Belle. Laughs are what they needed. Laughs...Lance could get them to laugh. “What has the Castle ever done to you?” 

“Are you forgetting the time it literally tried to kill us?” Keith reminds him with a grin, laughing a bit as he shook his head. He liked this, the dynamic.  _ Their _ dynamic. He missed it...Laughing at the base rarely happened and when it did it was at the expense of the failure of their enemies. Well...that was an exaggeration. They did crack jokes….just ones that were alien to Keith-quite literally. This humor was one he could understand because, in the same way, that Lance puzzled him….he understood him. It was a strange paradox but, one Keith had never questioned. Not until he'd taken his feelings into consideration anyway. 

“...fair point” Lance laughed back, happy to get some reaction from the other. “Still that wasn’t entirely the Castle’s fault. Maybe deep down inside it didn’t want to kill us, isn’t that right Castle? You’re here to keep us safe” he coos, running his hand against the wall. He was stroking it, mocking the tone of voice someone would use when talking to a puppy. He may have looked like a fool but it was worth it to hear Keith’s laugh. It was worth it to be rid of awkward pauses and silences. 

“It’s not sentient, Lance.” Keith says, giving Lance a gentle shove “And if it was, I don’t think it would like  _ that _ ” 

“Shhh what if you’re hurting the Castle’s feelings” Lance hisses playfully, cupping the wall as if it had ears “I don’t want it to get mad at us, we kind of need it, you know” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever” he rolled his eyes, crossing his arms in an attempt to keep his hands to himself. If he left his hands free...he couldn’t trust them to stay by his side and not latch onto any accidental brushing that might happen. It seemed like a plausible situation...considering how wildly Lance liked to gesture with his hands.  

“Say you’re sorry” Lance’s hands removed themselves from the wall and found a place against his hips, cocking to the side as he gave Keith a very serious expression. 

“What?” Keith blinked….was Lance really asking him to  _ apologize _ to  _ a wall _ ? It shouldn’t have been cute but it was. It was so very cute. So cute, Keith was almost certain he was going insane...it had to be because he missed being around. He couldn’t be  _ this deep _ . 

“Apologize to the castle!” He leaned forward, getting into Keith’s space for a moment as if being more stern would get Keith to do what he wanted. It really took everything in his power not to say ‘or else’. It took all he had not to smirk at Keith and stay in his little personal bubble. 

“Lance, I don’t need to apologize to the Castle”  Keith rolled his eyes, turning his head because his thoughts were alarming him. Never in his life has he wanted to kiss a boy more than he did right now- specifically this boy. The boy that made him do and say ridiculous things. The boy that was going to get him to apologize to a freaking wall because he was just _that_ _weak_ for him. 

“What if it tries to kill us again when you’re gone” The stern look melted into puppy dog eyes and Keith was weak. So weak for this boy. Lance didn’t know it, Lance was just trying to have a good time and clear the air around them. He wanted to see Keith smile again. To hear his laugh chime in his ears, even though most times it was subtle and quick to fade away. He wanted it. 

“Lance….” Keith turned to look at Lance, only to find that he was pouting “ _ Lance”  _  That look on his face was melting his heart and it didn’t help that Lance resorted to even more pouting “Oh my god, fine. Fine! I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings” 

“Say it like you mean it” Lance teases, lips breaking away from their pout and spreading into a grin. 

“ _ Lance _ ” Keith meant to sound annoyed but, there was a softness to his voice that even he didn’t recognize. A softness that trailed into a bit of laughter. 

“I’m kidding dude” He felt a surge of triumph spread through his chest as he slung his arm around Keith’s shoulders. Maybe touching was a bad idea but...this was good touching. Friendship touching. It wasn’t cuddling or holding hands like his mind and heart were begging him to go after...but it was something.“I actually didn’t expect you to say sorry at all. Guess I can be pretty persuasive”

“Yeah...whatever. Come on, we’re almost there….I can smell food” 

* * *

They had been lucky, any other day they would have been extremely late for breakfast but, today was special. After the battle, Shiro had agreed to let them all sleep in so breakfast was held a lot later than usual. That being said...the pair were still fashionably late. Hunk had just finished setting down the food in front of everyone leaving Lance and Keith’s plates covered by another plate so they wouldn’t get cold when they walked in. “Morning! You two sure slept in pretty late. I was going to go get you, Lance but Pidge said not to” Hunk says with an apologetic look. The team had pretty much just started eating from the looks of it and luckily their food was still warm.

“I don’t think you wanted to see what they were doing in there, Hunk” Pidge looked smug, as if she knew some top secret information that the rest of them did it. Lance panicked a bit...had she somehow managed to put a camera in his room? Did she see them cuddling and now she was going to use it against them?

“Doing? We weren’t doing anything” Lance says, voice surprisingly stern and convincing. Not that he felt like he needed to cover anything up. They hadn’t done anything wrong but...something about it felt more private. 

“Then, please tell me why Keith was in your room?” Pidge adjusted her glasses, eyes gleaming with mischief. Lance was honestly convinced that maybe, just maybe he’d angered the gay gods- if there were any- and they gave him Pidge as a teammate and not someone who understood that maybe  _ you don’t _ joke about someone’s crush while they were right in front of you. 

“Because it was that or let him sleep on the hallway floor?” She made it sound like he’d planned this like he’d dreamt of this and made it possible when...in reality Lance felt like the realization that Keith felt perfectly natural nestled between his arms had been a fairly recent one. He hadn’t known he wanted it until the opportunity presented itself. 

“Which I was fine with-” Of course Keith had to butt in! Sure, sharing the bed wasn’t  _ ideal _ but, it hadn’t been a bad idea! What Lance didn’t know was that Keith would gladly say yes to the opportunity of doing that again but...it was easier to pass this incident as just that- an incident that would never happen again. 

“But I wasn’t! It’s not my fault, I should have just sent you to sleep in the little gremlin that filled up your room with junk’s room” Lance cut in, pointing a finger at Pidge. She was still sitting there, smugly cutting up Space Omelette (how Hunk did it, he didn’t know but...he’d learned not to ask) into pieces and placing them in her mouth, making a show of chewing and not being able to sleep.  _ She did this on purpose! _

“Why didn’t you Lance? Hmm? It was just across the hall” She was smirking now, daring him to defend himself. Daring him to make a fool out of himself and out the feelings he’d been shoving deep down into the farthest depths of his mind. 

“You were knocked out Pidge, you know this” Lance could vividly remember Pidge’s snoring as he tucked her into bed after Hunk had set her down. Sure, he could have sent Keith to go wake her but...then he’d be sleeping on her floor and she wasn’t the tidiest out of all of them. 

“But there was always Hunk’s room, right? One of you could have gone there” 

“It was just easier this way!” It was...wasn’t it? Was it weird that he’d offer his room to a friend? No...he’d do it for each one of them if he had to. “He was already talking to me and we were across the hall already so, it was just easier than making him walk back and ask Hunk or you. I would have done the same thing for anyone”

“Mhm...sure, Lance. Sure. I bet Keith put up a real big fight to sharing a room with you too” She looked at Keith, who was busying himself with the food in front of him. What was she trying to say? Lance felt like his face was on fire and from the looks of it, this was a pretty embarrassing situation for Keith too. Lance assumed it was for different reasons...because being paired up with him in  _ that _ way probably wasn’t the easiest thing to hear. Maybe he was red out of anger? That was a pretty big possibility too. 

“Pidge, I think that’s enough. You’re clearly making them uncomfortable. If they don’t want to talk about their relationship, let them be quiet” Shiro sounded like he was trying to help and maybe he was but, the look he was giving them seemed like he thought something was up too. A knowing look, a look that said ‘I respect your decisions’ and that...that wasn’t what they needed at all. If anything it was a little worse. Lance...just really wanted to go cacoon himself in his blankets and never come back out again. 

“Shiro…” Keith couldn’t believe it. He could handle Pidge’s stupid insinuations but, now Shiro seemed to be in on it and Pidge was near falling over with laughter. 

“Perhaps...this is not an appropriate breakfast conversation,” Allura says, she looked a weird mix of uncomfortable and amused which...was better than Coran who seemed to be thriving under the conversation. 

“I would have never thought! Having lovers fighting on the same side! Fighting to see each other at the end of every battle, it could really help out morale! It’s poetic, out of war blossoms something beautiful” Coran rambled, looking excitedly between the pair. Lance tuned him out, he didn’t want to hear about how this fake relationship they had built in their heads would be wonderful and could potentially draw more people into the Voltron Coalition. It wasn’t real...it wasn’t happening...and if anything it hurt just a little bit. 

“I’m sorry about this, buddy. I told her not to bring it up but...you know” Lance felt a hand on his shoulder and didn’t have to look up to see the sorry expression on his face. He turned to see it anyway, smiling up at his friend before whispering back. 

“It’s okay, man. Just a misunderstanding...I know she didn’t mean it to be mean or anything” Lance says, smiling at the small squeeze Hunk gave his shoulder before going back to eating. Apparently, the whole conversation of exploiting a made up relationship was still going on but, Lance couldn’t bring himself to listen anymore. He’d fueled the fire that was his imagination enough with earlier that morning. Now was the time for more repression, to pretend he didn't feel those things so this situation wouldn't get any weirder. Keith however, couldn't  _ not _ hear everything they were talking about. Sleeping in the same bed as Lance the night before had been like opening Pandora’s box because now he was plagued with thoughts of cuddling and kissing and just plain being with Lance. He just wasn’t quite as skilled as Lance when it came to shoving those feelings down because this was the first time he’d ever had a reason to daydream of these things. Sure, he’d had crushes before but, those were easy to manage. Those were usually from afar where he could convince himself that it would never work out but, right now he was stuck listening to how perfect they could be. He was stuck listening to how they made a great pair. He was stuck with the feeling that they could be right because Lance just felt so natural. Lance was a rhythm he could find himself following along to without hesitation. And even though Pidge was trying to clear things up with Coran, to make it clear that it was just friendly teasing gone just a bit too far, Keith found himself agitated. Annoyed and just so absolutely done with this situation. 

“Thanks for breakfast, Hunk” Keith mumbles, suddenly getting up and pushing his plate away from him. It caught Lance’s attention...mostly because he could just feel the irritation in his actions. One he hadn’t sensed in the Blade for a while. Lance was about to move to go after him as he approached the door but, Keith’s head turned to look at Shiro “I’m going to call Kolivan. I might have to leave soon” 

With that, he was gone and no one urged Lance to follow. 

* * *

Keith made his way to the only place he could think of that would give him some quiet- the Hangars. Sure, it was full of memories with Lance but those were of friendship, of laughter….of Keith slowly figuring out his feelings. It was a welcome change to the aches he was experiencing right now. He put up his hood, walking over to red and sitting on her paw as he felt her purr in the back of his mind. He gave her a light pat before starting to reach out to Kolivan. It didn’t take long before his call answered. It wasn’t Kolivan, it was actually one of his Commanders-Emae. She had personally been assigned to training Keith when he first entered with the Blade and she had taken a liking to him. She treated him more like he figured a mother would....or at least like the female version of Shiro so, it was more like an older sister.

“Keith? I was not expecting a call from you”

“I wanted to know when I’m supposed to report back to base” Keith says, stiffening at the sound of the voice. He hadn’t been expecting her to answer, but once he realized he recognized the voice, he relaxed. “So, I can say my goodbyes to the team...is Kolivan there?”

“Oh, well he’s out on a mission. He was going to call but we all figured you would enjoy some extra time with your mate. It took some convincing but, we got him to agree to let you stay a while longer.” 

“My what?” Kolivan went on a mission and left Keith here? Her tone made it seem like she was insinuating something but, what exactly gave them the idea he had something like that waiting for him in the Castle remained a mystery to him.

“Your mate….do you Earthlings have those?” 

“Technically….yes but, I don't?”

“Oh, there’s no need to be shy. We all saw how the Red one chased after you” 

“The Re-”  _ They thought LanceI  _ The initial shock faded into annoyance. Why was everyone just assuming things about his relationship with Lance instead of asking? “No. no, no. Lance is just a friend, a part of team Voltron, nothing more than that” 

“Hmm...lying is not your strong suit.

“Im not!- I’m not lying.” He kept himself from yelling and letting out the loud groan that was building up inside of him. He couldn’t take his anger out on her….considering she was a Commander and it was sure to land him into some trouble.

“Mhm….well many of the others have gotten a different impression. Drilk especially had some tales to spin about your late night conversations with a lover.” 

“Oh...no...no I just… when do you want me back, Emae” He says, sighing as he silently cursed his roommate. Of course, he had been listening, he teased Keith about his phone calls with Lance all the time. 

“Within the next six vargas, if at all possible. Take your time saying your goodbyes to the Red one. Take good car-” 

“See you in six vargas” Keith says, ending the call before letting out a loud groan and flinging himself backward to lay down on Red’s paw. It hurt, but Keith was really too annoyed to care about the ache forming in his back. “Red….how the heck did I get in this situation” he mumbles, staring up at the lion as she roared her sympathies in the back of his mind “It’s...not the worst thing. I know….I just...don’t want things to change” His ranting was cut short by the sound of footsteps. It was Lance. Of course, it was Lance. “What do you want?”

“I figured you’d be here….and Red kind of called for me. She sounded worried...” Lance says, maintaining his distance. Keith seemed angry….like all the talk about them possibly dating had been the worst thing in the entire world. Sure, it was weird but...the fact that he got  _ this _ upset about it made Lance feel self-conscious. Like the idea of dating him was so terrible it brought down Keith’s mood  _ this much _ . The look Keith gave Red didn’t help any either. 

“I don’t know why she would be….I’m fine” Keith mumbles, laying back down and staring up at the Lion’s head. He was purposely refusing to look at Lance. Why? Because he wasn’t sure if it would anger him more or if….it would make him feel more. He didn’t want either of those things right now. 

“You don’t look fine….I mean I get it, I’m not the best guy to be paired up with but I got Coran to stop talking about it and Pidge is ready to apologize whenever you feel like talking….Hunk’s also really sorry and he’s making your favorite cookies. It won’t happen again, I’ll make sure of it” Lance sounded defeated and Keith….Keith felt bad that his attitude had gone south. He’d been so happy that morning and now he was stuck with an annoyed Keith. “And….Shiro said he wants to talk to us before you leave...unless you’re leaving right now. You should say bye to the others though...I’ll uh...leave you alone now”

Keith picked his head up, watching as Lance shoved his hands into his jacket pocket and turned to walk out of the hangars. It made Keith’s heart sink right into his stomach, Lance thought he was mad that he was paired up with him when in reality it was because it wasn’t real and he wanted it to be. He hadn’t considered that this whole thing affected Lance too….and Lance was sensitive. Not in a bad way, just in a way that Keith was only beginning to understand. In a way that leads to him immediately putting blame on himself instead of others. In a way that was so completely different from Keith. He couldn’t just leave him like this.“Lance….I’m not mad at you if that’s what you’re thinking…” 

“Cool...talk to you later” He didn’t like the tone of voice Lance was using. It was reminiscent of the time he came and visited Keith in his room talking about how he was just a seventh wheel. Keith didn’t like that at all.  

“Lance, I mean it” Keith sits up, watching as Lance stops in his tracks “I’m not mad at you...maybe...you aren’t the worst to be paired up with like that….it’s just kinda..” 

“Weird?” Lance finishes his sentence, turning to catch sight of Keith walking towards him. He couldn’t help the small smile that formed on his face “Yeah, I know...it's like we get close and then...“    
  
“And then everyone expects its because we’re secretly making out and not because we’re friends?” Keith offers, smiling back and stopping once he was close enough to Lance to put a hand on his shoulder “Yeah...I’ve just...never been in a situation like this...and Shiro didn’t exactly help back there….” 

“I know...just...don’t hold it against them. That’s just how family works”

“Really?” 

“Oh yeah, they’re nosey as heck. I could probably write a book on all the times my family thought I was interested in a friend of mine. Pretty sure my Mama thought I was into Hunk for a while” He explains, laughing at the memory of one very awkward phone conversation. It made Keith laugh too and Lance was grateful for that. It suited him better than his scowl did, or at least he thought so. “So, pretty much this helped solidify our Space Family as a thing. Shiro’s Space Dad, Allura’s like the mom, Coran is like a weird uncle, Pidge is the annoying little sister and Hunk, you and I are the older brothers Pidge likes to annoy” 

“Hmm...I don’t know if I want in on this whole Space Family thing” Keith jokes, removing his hand from Lance’s shoulder once he realized it was still there only to have Lance wrap his arm around his shoulders as he leads them out of the hangars. 

“Keith, my man, let me tell you this: Sometimes what you want, isn’t necessarily what you get and you know what, this is totally better than you brooding silently in your room and you know it” 

“Yeah...I guess it is”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing Saturday and Wednesday! I might just start updating on Saturdays only. My schedule is getting pretty busy but, I'll still try to do two a week! It just depends bc some days I go on a writing frenzy and others I'm so busy I can only write for like ten min before bed. Once a week just seems more doable right now. My apologies! 
> 
> Also let me just kinda ramble about how the title seems like it doesn't fit but, I see it more as they both realized just how much they liked the other in this chapter?? and like how at the end Keith realizes things he does affect Lance too. I dunno man.


	9. Won't Be Alone Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People think they're dating but they aren't....yet

Lance lead them to the common room, where Hunk and Pidge were busy talking as they huddled around Pidge’s computer. His arm was still around Keith’s shoulder as the two talked about how things had been inside the Castle while Keith had been gone. Keith didn’t really know much since most of their talks during the evening were about the past. Strictly ‘Defenders of the Universe’ free had become their agreement after the first call and neither of them ever tried to back out of that. It had been a nice and welcomed change of pace.  “Special delivery! One, no longer brooding, mullet wearing emo!” Lance announces in a voice that was doing very little to make the happy grins that had spread themselves on both their faces disappear. Grins that earned a shared look between their two friends when they caught sight of it. A look that made Keith shrug out of Lance’s grasp and Lance’s arm pull back before either of them could say a thing. 

“We didn’t order that, take it back” Pidge jokes, shutting her laptop with a grin. She had been hoping to spend some time with Keith before he had to leave. They all had. “So, what’d Kolivan say? Do we have to pretend that we need you for a little mission of something to have you a little longer?”    
  
“Not Kolivan actually...he’s out I guess? I have another six vargas...so like six hours…”  Keith was trying not to mull over the other things that had been said during the phone call...and the fact that apparently, he’d have to tell the entire base he wasn’t  _ with _ Lance in that way. He’d probably have to face the repercussions of taking the extra time anyway...which he would gladly do if it meant he had the chance to hang out with everyone. They probably wouldn’t believe him even if he did deny anything romantic with him...He hadn’t realized the way their late night conversations seemed or that the fondness of his voice would travel up to his roommate’s bunk. Maybe he’d bring it up and talk to Lance about it...just so they could find a solution. Later...alone...to avoid suspicious looks...

“Really? Wow, that’s very generous of him” Hunk looked as confused as Keith had felt when he first heard the news. It was true...the Blade members seemed tough and unemotional but, there were a couple Keith had really learned to get along with. It was more teasing him for being both the youngest and smallest Blade member but...it was better than the occasional looks of envy or just plain silence.  

“Ah...yeah… apparently, they thought I needed it”  _ To spend time with ‘my’ Lance _ , he finished in his head. It made him smile...the thought that they thought he was good enough for Lance. If they knew him how Keith knew him….they would see he wasn't worthy. All they say was the fighter, the boy turned soldier,  _ their _ sharpshooter. They didn’t know him as the kind, smart and funny person he was. They didn’t see the love he was able to give so effortlessly.  _ They just don’t see what I see.  _

“That’s awesome! We can have the best time ever!” Lance was excited. Keith was here! In the flesh! He could touch him, ruffle his hair, hear his laugh and see the way his face contorted as he tilted his head backward. He didn’t have to picture it. Best of all, it felt like the piece that was missing in the Castle was back. Like all the pieces had finally come together and they could all hang out and have fun! Although...Shiro and Allura were busy trying to figure out what to do next and what to do about Lotor...Totally not the time to think about that though. 

“Before that though” Hunk says, suddenly standing and rushing towards the kitchen. Once he came back, he had a plate of chocolate chip cookies...well what resembled them anyway. Comfort food that Hunk had picked up on him enjoying...or what the small sliver of hope that still remained in the black of his mind chanted:  _ It was Lance. He told him. He must have remembered you telling him about your father. How that was the only thing that man could bake without it horribly burning. How he said chocolate was the food of the soul and good to cure just about anything. How, even though you don’t have much of a sweet tooth, you can’t resist them. You can’t resist anything that makes you think of your father _ “Here you go, buddy. I just made them and...they’re an apology for….you know. I was going to go find you but, I thought you were really mad- I mean you looked really mad?” 

“Yeah...yeah, it's cool. Lance...cleared that up. I’m not mad” he was smiling, just like Lance had hoped. When Hunk had furiously started baking in order to make it up to Keith...he may or may not have subtly suggested that it was a good idea to make his best chocolate chip like recipe but...what Keith didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. 

“Thank goodness.” Hunk says, sighing in relief as Keith took the cookies. Keith couldn’t help but grin when he bit into one which, put Hunk even more at ease. “We kind of thought he was probably the last person you’d want to see but, he insisted” 

“You did?” Keith hadn’t known that. He figured Lance had just shown up without anyone knowing not that...everyone had told him not to but he did it anyway. Not that he would have responded the same way with someone else. He might have left without speaking to them if anyone else had shown up. He was just weak for Lance. So weak for Lance. 

“Well...yeah...I mean I guess it was kind of my fault? I was the one that had you sleep in my room last night and...if I hadn’t this whole thing wouldn’t have happened” He tried his best to seem like it was nothing, like he hadn’t felt the same amount of worry as he had the day before when they had almost lost Keith. Like he hadn’t felt like losing Keith was going to be the worst thing in the world. It was hard not to let that carry over in his expression or the guilt carry over in his voice because he would have lost Keith and it would have been his own fault. 

“It’s not your fault….” Quiet and shy. A tone that Lance had heard a few times over the phone but hadn’t witnessed the way Keith’s eyes downcasted and avoided looking at him. Hunk and Pidge knew what that look meant, why Keith was shy around Lance...they could tell but, Lance however..he .couldn’t see it that way. 

“Nah, it totally was and that’s okay”    
  
“No, it wasn't your fault okay? Don’t blame yourself” Hands curled into fists and Keith forced himself to look at Lance. He didn’t like Lance thinking of himself in that way, blaming himself for Keith’s temper. It was Keith that had gotten mad and stormed off, Lance had been calm and ignored the comments but Keith had let them get the better of him. 

“...that’s a little assertive but alright, alright... I give. It wasn’t entirely my fault” Lance put up his hands up in front of him. The tone in Keith's voice surprised him...sure Keith had come with him rather quickly but, Lance had thought it was because he'd forgiven Lance not because he never blamed him for the whole misunderstanding in the first place. It shouldn't make his heart flutter. It  _ didn't,  _  at least that’s what he told himself. Except it did. It really did. It made his heart flutter and ache in a way that made wonder if he was secretly a masochist because what other reason would he have for letting himself go through this pain on the daily? Why else would he not be able to bring himself to make an excuse to stay holed up in his room so he didn't have a reason to keep looking into those beautiful eyes?  

“It wasn’t your fault at all...you could have just left me outside but….you didn’t because you’re nice and you shouldn’t beat yourself up over that” The words came out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them...he was just getting way too used to just saying whatever he wanted to Lance. This wasn’t a phone conversation….this wasn’t just the two of them like he was used to. He could just feel Pidge’s smirk as she looked at them and he just knew she and Hunk were exchanging a look.  _ That look _ . A look that made anything he tried to discredit earlier go down the fucking drain. He was getting angry again...he could feel it. His fists were curling up and it didn’t really help that the only thing that helped him remain calm was  _ Lance _ . Because he couldn’t have Lance thinking he was mad at him again. He couldn’t have Lance hurting because of him, not when Lance had done nothing but show him how wonderful people could be. How wonderful it felt to have a circle of people you loved and trusted. Every ounce of annoyance building in him seemed to wash away with one look at Lance’s face. He wanted to hate it but...there’s a thin line between that and another word he didn’t want to admit. 

“...was that a compliment?” Lance didn’t mean to sound so baffled by it. He wasn’t even surprised at the fact Keith had called him nice, he was more surprised by the fact that he’d heard said compliment in person. That Keith had looked him right in the eyes and told him not to blame himself for being a good person.  _ He basically admitted he thinks I’m a good person _ . Lance also couldn’t help the smug grin that spread itself on his face after said realization.“Did the great  _ Keith Kogane _ compliment me? Little ol’ me?” 

“Oh no...now you’ve done it” Pidge sighed audibly, pressing her fingertips to the side of her head in what could have been seen as annoyance towards Lance and his now inflated ego. In reality, she was doing her best not to scream out how hopeless the two of them really were. Her friends were dense...that was for sure but...she loved them anyway. 

“You’re just jealous because  _ Keith _ thinks  _ I’m  _ nice” He was beaming, preening under the compliment but trying his best to act as though it was just a part of his act. Like he was teasing his friend because that’s what he needed to do. Cover up the obvious, cover up what Hunk and Pidge already knew so Keith wouldn’t find out. 

“I take it back, you’re annoying”  _ But, you think this is cute. Look at how happy you made him _ . He hated his mind for being right...because he did think Lance looked so goddamn adorable as he grinned over something he had said. He wanted to ignore the swell of pride in his chest as his mind repeated a soft  _ ‘I did that’ _ . 

“Too late, Mullet. You can’t take back the most sincere compliment you’ve ever given me”  _ No, it isn’t _ , he thinks,  _ this is just the most sincere you’ve ever been in person _ . The most sincere compliment happened in a phone conversation, Lance knows that. He knows because the words echoed in his mind at the most inconvenient of times. It inched its way to the surface of his thoughts whenever things got too quiet. He knew it was exactly their twentieth on call conversation. He knew he had been lying face up on his bed, the phone close to his ear on his pillow as he just played with the shadows his hands had been creating. He’d been talking about his family and what they would think of him...the ‘new’ him.  

> _ “I think think they’d be proud. You’ve grown a lot and you’ve helped a whole lot of people. If they don’t see it, I’ll personally tell your Mamà about how you’re our sharpshooter and my right hand..when I was leader. I think she’ll be able to tell though. One look at you and she’ll see. She’ll know. You’re...not giving yourself enough credit”  _

It had been in the privacy of his room, the lights were dim and he’d swore to himself he wouldn’t let the words mean anything. Apparently, he’s gotten into the habit of breaking promises to himself because...those words slowly started to mean everything. When his thoughts were being less than kind to him, he remembered that  _ Keith  _ actually thought highly of him...He doesn’t think Keith remembers. It was said in passing and the conversation faded to that of food they missed from back home. Keith, however, did remember. Though, the words that echoed through his mind were that of  Lance’s soft reply. A reply that meant Lance noticed how well they fit together. How...even though Keith being leader and Lance being his right hand made no sense at the surface, deep underneath they fit like puzzle pieces. 

> _ “Heh...I guess that lion switch up kinda makes sense now...it would explain why you always know what to say. Unless you have some super mind reading power”  _

Instead of calling out Lance in his lie, he just sighed. Leaving the other male to smile smugly as the conversation went on. He was barely paying attention to the chatter until a question was passed in his direction “How’s it been at the base?” It was Hunk, a concerned look on his face...he’d probably noticed Keith’s lack of responses and taken it as Keith feeling off. He didn’t though and the only one that seemed to know that was Lance...since Pidge had a bit of concern on her face too. 

“Don’t you remember, that’s classified. Right, Mullet?” Lance nudged him lightly, lightening the mood in the process. Keith was grateful that Lance just seemed to know without him having to say anything, without him having to explain himself. 

“It’s been alright. I mean...it's not as fun as hanging out here but, my roommate...he’s pretty cool. Not everyone is super strict and serious all the time...their humor is kinda different though.” Keith explains, fiddling with his thumbs. He didn’t know how to exactly admit that he’d missed all of them. All of them. He missed this. Just sitting...talking and not having to think about the next mission. It made him wonder if...it hadn’t been for Voltron, would they all be friends?

“Keith, you compliment me _and_ admit you miss us? It must be my birthday” Lance knew what Keith was trying to say. It wasn’t that hard to pick up on it if you knew what you were looking for. Lance recognized Keith’s tone of voice and the way he was fidgeting had been something he observed during their talks in the hangars. Throw his gut feeling into the mix and Lance had a pretty good guess at what Keith was trying to say. Judging by the way Keith smiled...he’d hit the nail on the head.   
  
“Aw, we miss you too Keith.” Hunk says, scooting over to wrap his arms around him. He went ahead and brought Lance and Pidge into the hug too. Not that either of them minded.   
  
“Yeah, feels kinda different without our resident broody emo. I  don’t even get to talk cryptids anymore” Pidge whines, earning a laugh from Keith. Even after Hunk let go, they stayed huddled together for a moment. They let themselves get lost in laughter and revel in the small chance they had at acting like normal teenagers. Something the hadn’t had in a long time. Something that felt too far away to even hope for anymore. 

* * *

Talking as a group had been fun. It was filled with laughs and smiles, just overall positivity. It couldn’t last forever though, Pidge and Hunk still had work to do. Things they couldn’t just put aside for too long...as much as they may have wanted to. Keith had wanted to talk and catch up with Shiro but...he turned out to still be busy with Allura and Lotor. That didn’t settle right with Keith and Lance could tell. It was obvious in the way Keith’s lips curled downward, the way his eyebrows furrowed and the way his eyes darkened at the mention of Lotor. So, Lance had brought up the possibility of training since Keith was already dressed in his armor and Lance could change into his. It was a surprising offer but...one that Keith didn’t turn down.

“Didn’t think you were in the mood to get your ass kicked today” Keith taunts, his face relaxing and taking more of an amused expression. Lance knew what he was trying to do but...he couldn’t go along with it, not this time at least. He was competitive and Keith knew it. HE knew Keith was just trying to get him riled up for nothing. Though...that never seemed to go well for them. Lance always took it a step too far or ended up being a sore loser- not that he would ever admit he was. He didn’t want to end the day by not talking to Keith. Nope. He was going to be as selfish as he possibly could and actually enjoy his time with Keith. 

“Ha, ha very funny. I was actually thinking we could work together? See how far in the levels we can get if we work as a team? Only if you want though” Maybe it was weird of him to ask to work together but...that’s what teams do, right? Even if they weren’t necessarily fighting side by side...they were on the same time and learning to cooperate was good…

“Together? Uh...yeah, sure. If you can keep up” He shot Lance a smirk, he enjoyed how easy it was to rile Lance up. He wasn’t doing it because he didn’t believe in Lance. No, he believed in this boy so much. Lance just needed a reason to ascend top his full potential. Something to help him focus, a goal to meet and a little friendly competition seemed to spark that just fine.   

“Oh, I can keep up. I think you’ll end up having some trouble, Samurai” Lance back smirks at Keith, trying to ignore the thumping in his chest as Keith straightens and crosses his arms smugly.  _ This boy is going to be the end of me but...what an end it’ll be _ , he thinks to himself as he makes his way to change. His heart thumping in his chest slowing the farther he got away from Keith. While he changed, Keith was going to get the training room ready...which was fine. It’d be weird if Keith had followed him and came with him as...he changed.  He let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding, running a hand through his hair as he picked up the undersuit of his uniform “I’ve got to keep it together….I can’t make this weird” Talking out loud made things easier...better to let things out than hold them inside his head where they piled up until the pile was so high it just about toppled over and drowned him in one repetitive thought. “We’re just training together...side by side…” he mutters, silently glad it wasn’t a spar. If it had been...he’d be subjected to Keith up close and personal. To all of his undivided attention. They’d sparred before, sure but...well that was before Lance realized how he truly felt. Usually, he’d be able to push down these feelings in order to properly focus but, after yesterday and the whole situation at breakfast...the sight of Keith heavily breathing whilst pinning him down was a bit...too much. His head felt jumbled and if he let something like that happen...he figured his brain wouldn’t be the only problem he had to deal with. 

After he finished changing, Lance makes his way back to the training deck. When the doors open, he finds Keith looking over the settings with a thoughtful look on his face. “Don’t think too hard there, we need all your brain cells” he teases, laughing when the Blade jumped. It reminded him of those cat videos. The ones where the owner places a cucumber next to an unsuspecting cat and they jump ten feet in the air for no reason “Relax, man. It’s just me. You good?” 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good. Just looking at the controls….you ready?” Keith looked embarrassed, much to Lance's surprise but...well he had just done something embarrassing. Usually, Keith would sense Lance, or someone else that was coming, before they actually spoke to him. 

“Ready” Lance had a grin on his lips and a fire in his eyes. There was an energy to him in moments like this that made Keith realize just how deep he was in these feelings for this boy. His name was going to be a tough one to scratch out off the walls of his heart but...eventually. Keith sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before getting the same look of determination in his eyes; however, while Lance’s thoughts were on being better than Keith….Keith’s was on helping Lance be better in some way. No not better...help him reach his full potential. With a look towards each other and a nod, the words “Begin training sequence” slip out of their mouths, so in sync, it seems almost rehearsed. 

The first few levels were a piece of cake but the longer they went on, the more Gladiators seemed to crowd them. They were clumsy at first, when things started getting tougher it was easy to forget the other was there. Keith would jump in front of Lance’s shot or Lance would shoot, making Keith’s slashes useless. Usually, things went smoothly but the two of them were so focused on not looking at each other for too long to really focus on the other’s presence. Regardless of this, the pair still found themselves surrounded by about fourteen Gladiators “I take the left, you take the right?” Lance asks, watching as his bayard shifted from its sniper rifle like state to an assault rifle like one. He wasn’t going to have time to line up his shots perfectly anyway, he was too busy ducking away from slashes to do it to the best of his ability. 

“Got it” Keith nodded, quickly jumping to the side to dodge a stab before going in for an attack of his own. It was hard to concentrate on anything other than fighting which was what Keith had wanted but...maybe this was a bit too intense. For just two of them anyway….though who knew what the future might bring. It was better over prepared than not prepared at all.  _ ZAP _ . He was brought out of his thoughts by a shot of blue he recognized as the bullets from Lance’s bayard. 

“Don’t fall asleep on me now. Or were you planning on letting it trim that mullet?” Lance teases, ducking out of reach before shooting another Gladiator. He was grinning, not because he’d in a way outshone Keith but because he was feeling useful. They weren’t failing. He wasn’t holding them back.

“I dunno looks like the sharpshooter handled it just fine” Keith was grinning right back at him, slashing at a charging robot without breaking his gaze. It felt a lot more intimate than either of them would ever care to admit. It made the both of them  _ feel things _ and Lance could feel his breath get caught in his throat as he pushed all thoughts of Keith being incredibly attractive back into the metaphorical closet in his mind.

“That’s kinda not the point here. Behind you!” Keith was quick to spin around, following Lance’s warning without question. To anyone watching, their chemistry was obvious. There was trust in their movements that matched the energy of a pair who have fought countless wars together for years. A trust that was seemingly only present behind closed doors because...if they’re training this intensely...it would make sense to stand so close, to stand with their backs pressed together and wide grins on their faces. They could pass it off as adrenaline, as giving everything their all and think nothing of it once they stepped away to hit the showers. 

“Mmm...it's not?” Their level had increased again as the last Gladiator was slain and the beginning of Level 8 was announced, adding two more to the robot count. “I thought you said you could keep up”    
  
“Oh, I can. I just don’t want to carry your butt into a healing pod” Eyes scanning, limbs moving as they ducked and attacked. It wasn’t easy but, it felt natural. It was fluid. If Lance didn’t see a Gladiator coming for him, Keith had made up for it not even a full second after noticing it and when a Gladiator came for Keith, there was a blast coming its way the second it was spotted. A pattern they never consciously followed. A rhythm they naturally fell into. They kept going as long as they could, eventually though...their chests were heaving too heavily and their sweat was threatening to blind them. Their limbs felt heavy, their calves ached and both of them were worried their reflexes would be too slow to save the other if need be. 

Again, the two were almost completely in sync when they called out “End training sequence”. Tired laughter escaped their lips as they clapped each other on the back. That should have been it. They finish training and go their separate ways. Lance, however, threw himself on the floor “....I….don’t...think...I’ve...ever...been this tired” he pants, starfishing himself on the floor after running a hand through his hair. Keith laughed, still breathing a bit heavily himself. He was used to training intensely...not just with the Blade but, when he would train on his own too- especially on days when sleep escaped him. Lance noticed a shift in the other male's facial expression and took a moment to catch his breath before reaching out and clasping a hand on Keith’s calf, evidently causing his knees to buckle and for him to land on the floor next to Lance. 

“What was that for?” 

“You looked like you needed to relax,” Lance says simply, pulling his hand away to rest it behind his head. “We just beat up like twenty-something robots...I think we deserve to just sit here and bask in this sweet sweet adrenaline rush” He turned his head to grin at Keith, earning a hand in his face “What? Doing this was easier! You wouldn’t have listened to me if I said something. You would have been like ‘No, I should go shower’” 

“I should go do that” He starts to shift to pick himself up but stops when a hand curls itself around his wrist.  _ Lance wants me to stay.  _ The thought instantly weakened him...he couldn’t help it. This boy was just...so...unexplainable. Not to say Keith didn’t understand him….he just couldn’t begin to describe him without a jumbled mess of words pouring out of his mind or the feeling that no words that existed really did him justice. 

“No! Relax first, shower later!” He was almost pouting but, Lance was really too tired to care. He didn’t want to be alone, almost every other day he was alone but right now, Keith was  _ here _ and he wanted to keep him there for as long as he could. Screw looking desperate and alone. Keith had no idea how he felt...so he was sure Keith wouldn’t catch on. 

“...fine” He gave in easily, laying to rest beside Lance...close enough so that if he turned his head...he didn’t want to think about that. He hadn’t even meant to be this close. Things like this just happened. Not that he minded...and by the way Lance just went back to resting and looking up at the ceiling...he didn’t mind either. 

“We make a pretty good team, huh? To we used to fight with each other all the time” Lance notes, a sense of fondness in his voice as he turned to look at the raven-haired boy next to him. He thanked the fact he could blame his redness and quickening pulse on the after effects of their training. When Keith turned to look at him...his heart definitely did not stop. He definitely  _ did not _ need a moment to recover, nope everything was fine

They continued to chat. Laughing and poking fun at each other's forms while also giving tips on fixing their mistakes. They complimented each other subtly with smiles wide on their faces, it was them naturally together. Something no one on the team had seen...until now. From the room overhead, Shiro had seen a great portion of what went on. He had been looking for Keith since he hadn't seen him since breakfast. Pidge had told him he went to the training deck so Shiro, like any good sibling, devised a plan to scare Keith by suddenly coming onto the coms. He wasn't expecting to see Lance there and he especially didn't expect to see them working side by side….or to be doing so well. It wasn't that he had doubts in either of them...it was just that training exercises with the two of them seemingly always ended in an argument and now...the two looked pretty cozy with each other. It made him think of home...a bittersweet memory of what he had left behind to be here but, he was happy for Keith. He deserves someone who made his smile as wide as the one currently on his face, someone that softened his expression like that...someone who looked at him with the same amount of fondness back. So far...Lance seemed to be just that and he liked Lance. Lance deserved those things too, so instead of notifying them of his presence, he left.

* * *

After the two had decided on finally leaving, the two left to shower. Keith used Lance’s shower, while Lance borrowed Hunk’s. It just made things easier on the both. That and Lance didn't know if he could handle watching Keith come out of  _ his _ bathroom again. Once, all that was finished they noticed Keith's six vargas had dwindled to about one and a half. Keith decided to leave early. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to spend time with everyone...he just didn’t want to ask them to pause their lives just for him. Although, everyone put a hold on what they were doing to see him off...so that whole thought was basically pointless. Keith didn’t want to leave, especially when he was being group hugged like this. Not when his heart felt full and his smile was wide. Lance didn’t want Keith to leave either….having him there just made everything feel complete. That was until Shiro spoke up and the two of them felt a pit in their stomachs.

“Keith, before you leave, I’d like to speak to you two alone” his voice was stern but his expression was soft as he gestured for Lance to stay. Honestly, Lance was worried he did something wrong...but, he really couldn’t see a reason why he’d be in trouble. Shiro waited until everyone else had actually left and the hangar door closed. He had what Lance would consider a dad-like posture to him...a fact that would make him laugh had the stare not been directed at him “When were you two planning on telling me?” 

“Telling you what?” Keith’s face was puzzled as he looked from Lance to Shiro...Lance didn’t look like he had an idea of what Shiro was talking about either. Lance realized he was being vague on purpose...it was something his mother did too. It gets you to confess to something they know you did but have no proof you actually did it. 

“I saw you two in the training deck. I get wanting to hide away from everyone, especially because the Galra could use this against us if they found out...though, after yesterday, I don't think anyone will be surprised” Shiro put a hand on Lance’s shoulder, leaving it there when he put a hand on Keith's shoulder. Both boys were at a loss. What the heck could Shiro be talking about? Their teamwork? How could that be a bad thing? “You can trust me, Keith. Okay? I'm not going to tell anyone...I saw how happy he makes you and that's all I could ever ask for. Lance, you have my blessing. I feel like I have to give you the whole ‘if you hurt him’ talk...though I think I’ll do that once Keith is gone” 

It was around then that it clicked for both boys, making their faces burn as they shook their heads almost comically fast. “Oh my god Shiro, we were just  _ training _ . You know, since everyone was busy and we were bored” Keith put emphasis on words just so Shiro would understand...how could he have even thought? They….had just been fighting. Sure, their moment after may have seemed like something more but he and Lance were surprisingly close. Talking every night did that...that’s all it was.

“Shiro, my man. I have no idea where you got this idea from. We're just  _ friends _ ” Lance took a quick look at Keith, hoping the scowl wasn't already inching itself on his face….but it was. It was already taking over the smile that had been on his face just seconds before.  

“Guys, I'm not mad. You don't have to hide it. Keith, you know I'm not going to judge you for this. I just want you both to know you can trust me” he says, giving his shoulder a small squeeze. A squeeze that only irritated Keith more. 

“Shiro, stop” he said, more like a warning. Lance had never seen Keith snap at Shiro but...he could tell it hurt him to do it. 

“I'm just saying, I support you two. Dating a teammate is hard, I know. When Adam and I first-” 

“Shiro this is nothing like you and Adam!” Keith looked actually angry as he shoved away Shiro's hand and stepped back. That made Lance’s heart sink. He'd just been so happy but...getting paired with Lance made him react like that... _ again _ . “Just stop. We were  _ training _  like  _ friends  _ do. Okay? Please don't make this weird like breakfast. Just because things point to the  _ possibility _ of a hidden relationship doesn't mean there is one” Keith stormed off again, mumbling under his breath and leaving Lance alone with Shiro. 

“I'm not mad you thought that...I just….he's right you know. We’re just friends and...assuming things like that...it's not cool” he says with a sigh, internally panicking because 1)Shiro thought they were together, 2) Shiro  _ liked _ the fast they were together, and 3) apparently his gaydar was broken because he had no idea Shiro swung that way too. “Bye Keith! Don’t forget to ask Kolivan!” he yells out as the other male climbed into his cruiser before looking back at Shiro, who seemed really confused about the whole ordeal. He was pretty certain of what he saw, of the energy around the two of them “Can I go now?” 

* * *

It was later that evenin, after Keith had settled back down at the base. He’d talked to Kolivan about visiting the Castle of Lions more often and the result had been positive but...the means of getting there well...he was going to owe Lance a big apology. Lance was waiting for his call...not that the nights had started to feel empty without the sound of Keith’s voice echoing in his head...he was just excited to know how talking to Kolivan went. Yeah...that was it. “Hey, how’d it go?” he asks, trying to contain the amount of nervous excitement that was coursing through his veins.

“I can come for like two or three days at a time. It just depends on my missions” Keith says, feeling himself smile at the thought of seeing everyone again and seeing them that often. As long as Shiro didn't get any ideas... 

“Nice!” Lance felt a grin spreading on his face. It was going to be nice to get the guy to relax...as long as things like today stopped happening. 

“Yeah….” Keith sighed, voice not fully matching the excitement he felt as he remembered everything. 

“Hey, come on. This is great news! Or...did something happen?” 

“Oh...uh...no it is great just...I’m sorry”

“Sorry for what? I'm the one that told you to ask” 

“I kind of had to just go along with the whole...them thinking you’re my….partner” he admits, sighing

“Oh my God, really?” he says with a laugh. Even the Blades thought they were dating? Honestly, that wasn't as upsetting as he thought it would be. It was hilarious and a bit relieving...at least some people thought he was good enough for him. Heck, Shiro thought he was good enough for Keith and that….that was amazing

“It was either that or come up with a solid lie and I don't have one” 

“Hey, its cool. Not ideal but...what can you do? ” He shrugs, even though Keith cant see him “Probably won't be ask awkward as the thing with Shiro. I swear if he tries to give us the talk because he things we're together...I'm going to jump out into open space”

  
“I would say I would join you but that would raise even more questions. Guess we really can't go and be friends”  He was joking...joking was good. Joking relieved him because joking meant Lance wasn't upset and they could still have fun. It meant he could joke too. It meant they were okay “What was that thing you said yesterday? Sometimes what you want isn’t what you get?”    
  
“Yeah, something like that” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for missing last week but life decided to ram into me like a bus LMAO  
> Anyway, like always I hope you enjoyed and comments/questions/critiques are always welcome! This chapter isn't nearly as long or as detailed as I wanted and writing fight scenes is hard af but, live and learn I guess


	10. Hide the Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So the Blade of Marmora thinks they're dating....

Lance hadn't expected a call from Keith early in the morning. They never talked early in the morning, it was always night...mostly for comfort since they'd formed a habit and now sleeping without hearing the other's voice or seeing their words typed out on the screen felt wrong. It was going to hurt when it stopped, Lance knew that but...right now he couldn’t bring himself to care. He couldn’t bring himself to ignore the messages or return calls he’d missed on accident. He couldn’t act like he didn’t like this. It was easier to hide at night, go to bed and pretend that his heart didn’t feel like it was about to burst. Talking at night was just easier. That being said, it didn't change the fact that his communicator was going off under his pillow and the fact that Keith's contact information was displayed. He sat up, rubbing his eyes and answering with a sleepy “Hello?”

“Hey- Did I wake you up?” Keith sounded like he’d been awake for hours...probably early training since the Blade didn’t want him to fall behind. Lance was actually surprised that they valued ‘mates’ so much...though maybe it was simply because they were young...and so many of them had already lost. Lance felt bad for abusing their….surprising  kindness and understanding but, if it got Keith to come back to them every once and a while...maybe it was worth it. Plus it wasn’t like he had to do anything...it was just the Blade that thought this. It was an innocent lie. A necessary one.

“Nah, I’ve been awake for hours” His voice was rough with sleep and all ounce of sarcasm was lost with its deeper tone but if that wasn’t enough to reveal that he had in fact not been awake for hours...the yawn that came soon after it was “What’s up?”

“Riiight. Totally just didn’t wake up” Keith teases, momentarily forgetting what he called for as his mind wandered to the image of Lance’s bed head, the way his hair was probably sticking up in odd places...in ways he wasn’t allowed to think were cute. It wasn’t until Lance let out another yawn that he was brought back to reality. “Oh...so...we have a problem?”

"Is that a question or an actual statement?”  He was whispering...Lance didn’t get why but he wasn’t going to ask him to stop. It was just...so... _Don’t you dare finish that thought with cute, McClain. It’s_ **_not_ ** _cute._

“Shut up...It just...depends on how you wanna deal with this” He trails off, trying to gauge whether or not this was worth it. He just...didn’t like people speaking badly about Lance. Not when they didn’t know him and how wonderful of a person he actually was. “So...you know how I had to tell Kolivan we were ‘mates’...so I could get these days off?”

“Yeah? We called it a necessary evil” It was more like he had agreed...after they were yawning and getting ready to fall asleep, Keith had apologized again and Lance had told him not to worry if they needed it to be this way...that was fine. He remembered the comment he’d barely been able to restrain as he claimed it was alright. _If faking it bothers you so much, why don’t we just make it real?_ That would have gone horribly...or at least he figured it would have. It would have been weird at least and definitely not something he could pass off as a joke.

“Yeah so… that means to them we’re doing the equivalent to dating, right?” Keith paused for a moment to make sure Lance was keeping up with him. He only continued after Lance let out a soft ‘Mhm’. “So...do dates usually let the person go to them?”

“Well no, typically someone picks someone up...kinda just depends on what they’re doing. Why? Don’t you know how dates work Keith? What’s that have to do with anything. Need dating advice at who knows what time this is?” Lance wasn't quite following what Keith was talking about. He would blame his sleepiness but he didn't want to admit he was so determined to act like he'd been awake...not that Keith was buying that in the first place.

“What? No...I’ve never- that’s not the point.” Keith mutters, stopping himself before admitting he'd never actually been on a date before. Lance didn't need to know that...he was just teasing right now and it _wasn't the point_ . “I just...I thought so…” He sighs, thinking of how to phrase what he needed to say. ‘ _The Blades surprisingly care about relationships and think we aren’t doing a good job and I thought you would care since it’ll probably ruin your chances with other people’._ No...no that wasn’t good at all.  “So, to the Blade...we’re dating, right? There’s...talk about you being a lazy mate?”

“What? Like I’m a  bad boyfriend? Why would they say that? I’m a wonderful boyfriend what would they know!” Lance was wide awake now, raising his voice more than he should have. Of course, he cared about this. Not because of what the Blade though...but because they were telling this to _Keith_ . Not that he’d ever see Lance in that way but...maybe...it would help if he saw how good of a fake boyfriend he was? Did that make any sense? _Get it together McClain. Don’t make this weird. This can’t be weird. Don’t mess this up._

“Lance- they think you’re _my_ boyfriend. You’re letting me go to you... _alone_ ” Keith thought he was being obvious but….Lance...was hopefully just sleep deprived because he had no idea how else to phrase it. _Maybe if I just tell him to come pick me up so they don’t think he doesn’t care about me? Just ‘Lance pretend you’re in love with me and pick me up from the base’_

“Yeah? So- oh...OH...uh...well why does it matter to them? Wouldn’t going to your super secret base be a bad idea? And it's not like you're defenseless” It wasn’t like he was against picking up Keith. Oh no, he’d be down there as soon as possible if he needed to be. He just didn’t want to give his mind a reason to go crazy and tell him that they _could_ be like this. That they _could_ be what they were pretending to be because they couldn’t. They were doing this for Keith’s mental health...his happiness...to keep the team together...not for Lance and his selfish desires.

“Lance- I don’t know? Okay? I just...Not a whole lot happens here...Easy gossip? I'm hiding out in my room right now. Pretending to get ready or whatever” he was still whispering and if Lance concentrated a bit...he could hear Keith pacing around his room. “Look, I don't have a problem going by myself as planned. I figured you'd care about this sort of thing? If you don’t then fine, see you in a couple vargas”

“What? No, no. If we’re going to be fake boyfriends to the Blade, we’re gonna be the best fake boyfriends ever. Just...give me some time to get ready” _Did I really just say that!?_ Lance couldn’t believe he was actually saying the words that were coming out of his mouth. Sure he might want to date Keith...just a little but...that didn’t mean he should just jump the gun on fake dating him. Maybe Keith wouldn’t notice how quickly he jumped in and how insistent he was being. Hopefully, he didn’t sound as eager as he felt. He was definitely worrying too much.

“Oh? I thought you’ve been awake for hours?” Keith was teasing him now and Lance could just see the grin on his face. He wasn’t whispering anymore...thank God...that would have killed him right then and there. He could only take so much.

“Can it, Mullet. Just...go wait for me or whatever. See you in a bit- send me your coordinates” he mutters, hanging up before Keith had a chance to tease him anymore...or before his mouth rattled off words he wanted to keep in his head. He didn’t need that.

 

> **_Chat- Hunk, Lance Pidge_ **
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** G U Y S
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** What’s up bud?
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** I bet its Keith related
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Shut U P
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** But it is
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** So… he’s coming
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** But theyre only let him come because...they think we’re dating
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** So now I have to go pick him up skdcndjfngj
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** BC THERE’S NO WAY I’M LETTING THEM THINK  IM A TERRIBLE BOYFRIEND
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Woah there buddy
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Explain? Maybe? I didn’t think you were awake yet
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Keith called me
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Ooo a wake up call from the fake boyfriend I see
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** sdjnonv he called me to tell me that the Blade apparently care a lot about this
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** I don’t get WHY
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Well...he was supposed to be here like a half hour ago
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** I don’t wanna say you’re still terrible but he probably could have gotten here faster on his own
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Well I went to get him clothes from his room
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Would have been easier if SOMEONE cleaned up her mess
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** And ruin your chances of sleeping together again? ;)
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** You should be thanking me
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** She has a point
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** We just shared the bed!!
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** but you also got really defensive when we asked about it soooo
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Y O U  guys are making a bigger deal out of this!!!!!!!
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** We’re just saying, we support you
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** Oh my G O D
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** You guys heard Shiro didn’t you????
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) maybe
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** dljfnbeljnbljen I’m leaving
> 
> **_Hunk:_ ** Too much?
> 
> **_Pidge:_ ** Nah

 

Lance made his way to Red even though Allura had suggested taking one of the pods instead. She was worried about the Galra somehow finding him on the way to the Blade of Marmora’s base but, Lance kind of wanted to give Keith a chance at Piloting Red again...not that he said that to the Princess, no he simply said he could take care of himself and that Red was faster. He was running late after all...it was a believable reason plus, it was better to be armed with Red in case someone that didn’t need to know he was there found him. Once Keith gave him the coordinates he needed, he basically dashed to the hangars. Red was purring at him once he was inside the cockpit. “I know, I know. You really want to see him again too. Wait- I...nevermind. Who are you going to tell?” He chuckles nervously to himself, knowing very well that Red could tell Keith...hopefully that didn’t happen. That couldn’t happen. Lance let out a sigh, putting the coordinates in and shooting Keith a quick message. Hopefully, he wasn’t annoyed that Lance had made him wait so long...sure Lance hadn’t been expecting a wake-up call but, he should have at least thought of picking Keith up...he just didn’t think he’d have to do much in this fake dating situation. He hadn’t expected the fake dating situation to matter. At least not to the Blades….He just didn’t want Keith to freak out on them again...to run away when he was already so far, to begin with. _I need him to stay_ . The thought echoed in his mind no matter how hard he tried to shake it off. The thought wasn’t a new one...in general at least. A part of him was always scared he wasn’t good enough to keep those he held dear close to him...sure his family was always there but...family is _always_ there. At least that’s how it’s always worked in his house, _juntos hasta el fin del mundo (together until the end of the world)._ Friends came and went, he knew that but...this felt different. The entire team felt like a second family to him, yes...but still Keith _felt different_ . He felt different than Allura...and he knew his heart ached for her beauty but his mind was still occupied with Keith. His heart leaped in ways it hadn’t before and he was so scared of saying the wrong thing he couldn’t bring himself to flirt. All he could do now was pray that feeling went away. _I can’t ruin this._

 

> **_Chat- Lance, Keith_ **
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** omw
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** What does that mean?
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Are you okay?
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Lance?
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Lance???
> 
> **_Keith:_** Why aren’t you answering???

His mind was brought out of its downward spiral by the continuous dinging of his communicator. Lance was internally grateful for it though he couldn’t decide if it was almost too perfect that it had been a message from Keith that pulled him out of this. It seemed poetic...and the large part of him that loved romance would have liked to acknowledge that but, he couldn’t. He shouldn’t. So, instead, he focused himself on the panic he had accidentally sent Keith into. He hadn’t been expecting a message back from Keith so fast but, then again he was technically late...and he didn’t account for the fact that Keith didn’t know any of the texting lingo yet. Lance hadn’t taught him this one yet...and he was pretty sure Pidge only taught him things he could use against Lance. “Red, I think you’re gonna have to take over for a bit” he says aloud, pulling his communicator out when he heard the lion’s roar echo in his head as a reply. He was expecting more of a fight but...maybe it was because it was Keith. It seemed like they both had a soft spot for the hot-headed boy...well it was obvious Red had one from the beginning. Maybe...he had too. _Not now, McClain. Not. Now._

 

> **_Lance:_ ** Woah there
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** I’m fine
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** omw = on my way
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** You could have just said that about me
> 
> **_Lance_ ** : And miss you showing you CARE about me?
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** I just didn’t want your blood on my hands
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** You say that now Mullet, but I know
> 
> **_Lance:_ **  I could feel that concern and I am honored
> 
> **_Keith:_ **  Shut up
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Just hurry up and leave so you can get here
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Emae’s starting to think you’re standing me up
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** I am offended. I left already, Red is doing the flying while I talk to you
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Get back to flying then   
>  **_Keith:_ ** You need the practice   
>  **_Lance:_ ** Again
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** I am offended. Wounded by your words
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** They cut deep. I’m bleeding
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** And the Blade dare to think IM the bad boyfriend smh (shaking my head)
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** Shut up and fly over here. Yourself, don’t make Red do all the work
> 
> **_Keith:_ ** And I remembered that one
> 
> **_Lance:_ ** See you soon :)

Lance was smiling to himself, earning a soft purr from the mechanical lion as he took over “Don't get your hopes up. We're just friends.” He wasn't certain if the phrases were for him or for Red...Judging by the scoff like roar that echoed in the back of his mind...it wasn't really working for either of them. “Fine, don't believe me...sure I _might_ have a big gay crush on him but that doesn't mean anything! Okay, Red? This is _Keith_ we're talking about, pretty sure if he knew that he'd run for the hills. I can't be the one to blame for him leaving for good, okay? I can't be the only one he shuts out either. I'd rather just….suffer until this goes away and keep being friends.” he says before mumbling “If this ever goes away” There really wasn't a point in doing that. Red knew what he was feeling anyway….and the roars in his head seemed to be an attempt in comforting him. It did little to actually soothe the knot that had formed in his throat. He didn't know why exactly he was starting to feel so overwhelmed with this emotion...so much so he might actually start to cry. “Get it together McClain. If you cry now, Keith's gonna see you all puffy eyed and ask what's up...He won't buy any of those nothing’s wrong excuses” he says, letting out a shaky sigh before focusing himself on flying. It didn't take much longer for them to make it to the base. The instant he was within range, a video flashed upon his screen. It was Kolivan.

“I understand you are here to pick up Keith?” His face looked as unamused as ever though...there was a hint of something in his voice. Teasing? Whatever it was, Lance didn’t let himself get too caught up in it before he nodded.

“Yes, sir” he says, suddenly feeling the need to apologize for being late...it oddly felt like some kind of fatherly interview and he realized it might as well be. They thought they were dating…might as well act like it, right? Just for the Blade...and once Keith was in the cockpit, he could drop the act...the act that wasn’t really an act if he thought about it. It was more like he was acting out a wish he hadn’t realized he had.  “I’m sorry I’m late, sir. I was just getting things ready...back at the caste” Was it wrong to lie like this? Probably but...he wasn't probed much longer anyway. Kolivan just gave him a nod before the video feed faded and the doors of the base opened. He let out a sigh, releasing the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and went inside. They’d left big enough space for him to land Red and it didn’t take him much longer to spot Keith. He was going from looking at his communicator to looking around the room but, even then it took him a moment to realize the Red Lion was right there. Well...it was more like he didn’t process the fact Red was there until the Galra next to him gave him a nudge and brought him out of his blank stare. Then he did something…..something _cute_ . He waved. Small and shy. A small, crooked smile formed on his lips and entranced Lance in a way he couldn’t explain. Well...no, he could explain it. If he would allow himself to be cheesy, his mind would overflow with thoughts. Thoughts he could barely fight off as he sent Keith a message. _That smile, I could die looking at that smile. I don’t think he realizes what he does which makes it that much better. He just_ **_is_ ** _. He exists and its breathtaking. It’s wonderful. And_ **_I_ ** _made him smile like that._

 

> **_Lance:_ ** Here! :)

Lance looked up, catching sight of Keith laughing...or at least what looked like Keith laughing as he read the message and looked back at Red. It gave Lance a sense of accomplishment he’d dwell later in the solitude of his room while everyone else was asleep. When he saw Keith look back down on his communicator and start typing, he made his way down and out.

 

> **_Keith:_ ** No duh

Lance read the message, laughing aloud as he stepped out of Red’s mouth. His feet naturally made their way to Keith without him putting much thought into where he was going. It was almost like there was a straight path leading him right to Keith….(Ironically, nothing about the actual path leading him to Keith was straight but...that was a different topic). He waved once he was close enough, grinning widely when Keith returned it with yet another small wave and smile “Yo, how’s it going Samurai?”

“I was starting to think you weren’t going to show” Keith says, surprisingly not pushing away when Lance wrapped an arm around his shoulder. He did, however, roll his eyes when Lance shot finger guns at Emae. “This is Emae, she’s a commander here. She trained me” He explains, looking at Emae and sighing “This is Lance”

“So, this is the boy in question” Emae says, a smug smile on her face. She was tall, like the rest of the Galra so that wasn’t much of a surprise….Lance barely reached her chest but...honestly, he was more concerned with how small Keith looked in comparison. Sure, Lance probably looked tiny too but...it was different.  He’d dwell on the topic more later, right now the look in her eyes was making him feel like squirming. It was soft, yet Lance felt like he was being scanned over. “Kolivan has business to attend to but, he informed me to wait with Keith. Time will not be extended for what was lost due to your tardiness” Her tone was firm, not quite cold but still authoritative...and it made Lance want to promise to have Keith back by his curfew. He held his tongue, not wanting to turn this into something awkward. Though….Emae seemed to be doing a fine job at making them both feel uncomfortable, considering how Keith was leaning into him. Lance was resisting the urge to bring him in closer, protect him- _Keith doesn’t need protecting, he isn’t yours to protect_.

“Understood, ma’am. We gotta get going then if that’s all.” He pulls Keith along ever so slightly, doing his best to avoid the eyes of other Blade members who seemed to be eyeing them. There were definitely whispers...though...Lance couldn’t bring himself to tune in.

“Of course, have a good time. We expect Keith to be fully prepared for his mission upon his return” Emae waves the two off, smirking at Lance’s eagerness to get Keith back to the Castle...though her mind was thinking less pure thoughts. The exact opposite of what was going to happen.

* * *

“Is she always that...intense?” Lance asks quietly, even though they were now far enough for the conversation to only be between the two of them. He could still feel Emae’s eyes boring into him...though...he couldn’t be sure if she was still standing there watching him. Part of him was too...not afraid...wary? to turn around and find her still looking at the two of them. He generally liked being the center of attention but...it was different when people were expecting things of him. Things he wasn’t sure of since...Galra mating customs wasn’t exactly something he ever planned on looking into.

“I thought she was being pretty calm” Keith admits, turning his head to look at Lance when they waited for Red’s mouth to reach them. Lance still had his arm around his shoulder...and he should probably take it away but...at the same time Keith didn’t want him to. It felt right….but, he did have to let go... _I should probably stop leaning into him. Is it weird? I bet it’s weird._ He hadn’t realized he had been doing it, it had just come to him. It felt so natural and comforting. With that thought he made himself pull back a bit...he shouldn’t get comfortable with this. He couldn’t get comfortable with this.

“Of course you did...i dunno man. Something about that made me feel all weird...anyway, do you have to go say bye to Kolivan?” he teases, walking up the ramp and finally letting go of Keith once they were out of sight...He didn’t want to but, he knew holding onto him while they were alone could be bad. Well, no it would feel _great_  but he couldn’t let that happen. He’d get addicted.

“He’s not my dad, Lance” His voice showed that he wasn’t as annoyed as he seemed. Lance could tell Keith wanted to smile though...Soon. He’d get that smile out of him soon.

“You sure? The little video call I had before I landed AND that message he gave to Emae….felt pretty dad like to me”

“He what?” Keith’s arms unfolded as he raised an eyebrow at Lance. He didn’t think they would go that far….then again...they all really seemed to care about this so-called relationship. _This is too weird_.

“He called me when I landed, making sure I was here to pick you up” Lance explains, allowing Keith to go in front of him as they made their way inside the cockpit.

“Oh…”

“It’s cool man…,” Lance says, waving a hand away in an attempt to get Keith to stop worrying. His brows furrowed like they usually did when he was in thought or nervous….when he wasn’t sure what to say or react “Anyway, I brought you some clothes from the Castle and no, Pidge didn’t clean. I almost died for these” He says, handing Keith his usual casual clothing “I have your gloves too” He drops the pile in Keith’s hands before fishing the gloves out of his jacket pocket and sets the gloves on the top of the pile. He thought they were silly...but, Keith seemed to be attached to them for some reason or another and for that reason alone, he felt like he had to bring them “Figured it's more comfortable than wearing your uniform but, it’s your call”

“Oh, thanks. You...didn’t have to do that” Keith says, looking down at the pile in his hands as Lance stepped away to plug in the Castle’s coordinates. He could feel warmth spread in his chest, a feeling he had started to associate only with Lance. Lance made him feel warm and cared for...especially when he did little things like this that acknowledged the fact that he worried about Keith without actually saying anything. Things that acknowledge he thought about Keith, that he wanted him to be comfortable and would make sure he did his part to make it happen.  

“I know but, that’s what makes me so awesome” Lance grins, looking over to catch a glimpse of Keith scoffing “Oh? You wanna argue with that? Hand back the clothes then man”

“Hmm...I guess I’ll agree. Just this once” Keith was smirking now, setting down the clothing on one side of the controls and starting to unlatch his chestplate once Lance turned around. Leaving to go change in the cargo area didn’t even cross his mind, honestly. He was so used to changing wherever possible. Who was around didn’t matter when the only thing he cared or needed to care about was the mission and seeing it to completion.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever dude” Lance says with a laugh, making his way out of the base with relative ease. He was confident enough in his ability to get out...and Red’s ability to catch him if he made a mistake, to turn around and look at Keith as he spoke “Once we’re out of here, wanna take over? Red really misses yo- what are you doing?!” Keith was shirtless….his armor and undersuit chucked onto the floor, shirt in his hands and pants...thankfully on. It took everything in him to keep from flailing, from screeching and letting himself lose his cool. Instead, he raised an eyebrow at Keith. His face...had flushed a bit though and he could feel it getting worse with every second he let himself look at Keith’s shirtless form. _Oh no, he’s hot_ . Well...that wasn’t a new discovery, he knew that but, he had never been _alone_ with Keith. Sure, there was the elevator while going to the pool scenario but...Keith’s body had changed a bit since then and at that point in their relationship, he’d just immediately thought of a way to get out of that situation. He had thought he hated Keith then….Not hated...just irked him? He was jealous...on a sense. He didn’t think they would get along but, boy would past him be surprised to know he actually felt the exact opposite now.

“....changing?” Keith looks at him, confusion was written on his face as he unfolded the shirt in his hands before looking at Lance. Had he done something wrong? Maybe Lance really did want the clothes back...why would he want the clothes back? Maybe it was weird? Changing in the same room as one another...was it because he was gay? _Lance is bi you idiot, why would he get mad at you for that._

“Here?” His voice cracked a bit and he did his best to cover it up with a cough...not that Keith noticed anyway. He was lucky the guy was so oblivious.

“Uh...yeah?” He answers simply, pulling the shirt over his head and leaving Lance to gasp internally  “...was I not supposed to?”

“You could have...gone to the cargo area maybe?” He turns quickly, trying to make his staring less obvious and act like he was focusing on the path of stars in front of them, even though they were technically still on autopilot.

“Too late now” _Why didn’t I think of that? God I’m an idiot._ Keith folded his uniform neatly, setting everything in a corner before pulling on his gloves and tying his jacket around his waist. He didn’t feel like carrying or wearing it. “ You said I could take over?”

“Ah...yeah yeah...here” Lance clears his throat again, standing quickly and standing behind the pilot’s seat “All yours. I feel like Red wants you to pilot more than me. You’re her Paladin after all”

“We both are” he states firmly, letting a quiet moment fall over them like a blanket. Though, it wasn't welcomed or soft. It was...like an itchy blanket. The kind you didn’t want but, it was so cold without it...The kind of blanket that you stuck with because it was either bear the uncomfortableness until the morning or kick it off and face the consequences. Keith didn’t like sitting there in uncomfortable silence. Not with Lance anyway. Silence with Lance wasn’t uncommon but, he preferred when it was warm. When it was a quiet lull filled with the soft hums Lance often produced when he was thinking “Sorry….if that was weird...kinda just used to just changing in front of people...we don’t...have a lot of privacy”

“No, it's cool man...just...unexpected?” Lance sighs, scratching at the base of his neck. It was a nervous tick. One that he hadn’t noticed until Keith had pointed it out to him once. It felt like so long ago since the two had sat there on the paw of the Lion they were currently in and chatting away. Mostly Lance chatting and Keith occasionally interjecting but, they were getting somewhere. Inching closer to just open conversation with equal amounts of talking. And now they were here. Now, Lance was very aware of every movement he made because Keith could read him like a book. To be fair, he could read Keith too. He knew that he paced rooms when he was anxious, that he played with the velcro straps of his gloves when he was unsure and thinking, that he bit his lip during either of those two things. That his brows furrowed constantly but, there was a distinct way in which they furrowed that defined his emotion. Keith...had a lot more tells than Lance did. Subtle and less obvious ones...but if you knew what to look for, you could spot them. Right now, Keith seemed anxious...He wasn’t looking at Lance but, he was biting his lip as he waited for an answer “I haven’t seen you in a while..in general. So, I turn around to make a joke and it's just abs in my face- totally not what I thought I was gonna see today”

“You’ve seen me shirtless before” The words rolled off his tongue before he had a chance to stop them and it left Keith wondering if it seemed like he was too eager to remember that time. Like he’d memorized it and kept it in his mind while Lance had seemingly passed it off as nothing. _It was nothing. This is nothing._ But, if it was nothing, why did things feel so awkward?

“Well yeah but…” _That was before I realized I…_ He couldn’t let himself finish that thought. In his head or out loud. He wasn’t sure what the right word was. Before he realized he was infatuated? That he had a crush on Keith? That he liked Keith? That he possibly loved him? That he could see himself loving him? He didn’t think he was in love...yet...but...he could be someday.

“But?” Keith’s eyebrow quirked as he turned to look at Lance’s worried expression. Lance was biting his lip now, something Keith had never seen him do before. He wasn’t looking at Keith. He was looking over him, eyes searching for something else to focus on. Why? _I said something wrong, didn’t I?_

“Nevermind” Lance knows his response comes out too quickly but, he feels jumbled inside again. Words in his head were trying to worm their way into reality and he couldn’t let that happen. Not now. Not ever, preferably…. “So...uh...how’s the course looking”

“Good? Red...kind of won’t let go of the reins. We’re basically on autopilot” The Lion roars in their minds, urging them to keep talking. Seemingly urging the both of them to open up. What the other had to say was intriguing but, they couldn’t bring themselves to say what they were hiding.

“Red, come on. We have to get to the Castle as fast as possible and you know you missed Keith” Lance was expecting for Red to give but no. They lurched forward as they sped up and Lance knocked his head against the back of the pilot's seat  “What was that for!”

“I think she wants us to talk?” Keith turned to face Lance, chewing on his lip and trying to search the other male’s face for an emotion other than frustration. Scowls didn’t suit him very well, even when it was paired with him cutely rubbing the front of his forehead.

“No duh. We are talking” Lance’s face contorts so it’s more pout than frown and Keith finds himself with the new and alarming urge to cup his face. Lance, however, was thinking more about how Red was betraying him and everything they had talked about on the way over here. _I thought I told you not to get your hopes up. Stop making this weird!_ He wanted to yell out loud but...well that would only raise more questions.

“Maybe that’s not what she wants us to talk about?”He knew what Red wanted him to tell Lance. He was supposed to talk about how...everything felt natural with him. That he felt himself wanting things he had never wanted before. Things that took him by surprise, much like Lance did everytime he entered the room but, that wasn’t an option “....the fake dating thing?”

“Fake dating? Why do we need to talk about that, we already talked about that? “ Lance was annoyed. Not at Keith but, at the red hunk of alien metal that was trying to get him to confess in the worst possible way. _Red, no. Please._

“I dunno okay!? That’s just...what I feel this is about?” Keith lets out a long sigh, running his fingers through his hair before turning to look at Lance. There wasn’t a point in just sitting there looking at open space when he couldn’t even pilot them through it “I think...I think she’s just...trying to protect us I guess?” he says, looking away when Lance’s eyes met his. These were his worries now...Sure Red was _probably_ concerned about this too, these were just his major concerns about this situation. The situation Keith had flung them into. He needed to make sure Lance knew he didn’t have to do this, that Lance didn’t feel like he _had_ to so this “Make sure we’re okay….that you’re okay. You beat yourself up inside about a lot of things, Lance”

“So do you!” Lance retorts, crossing his arms in front of him before registering the soft tone in Keith’s voice. The voice he used when he was talking about things _he_ felt. He sighed, looking away and out at the vast amount of stars in front of him. “I’m not about this, okay?” _Never about this- but if I said that out loud I’d fling myself out there without my helmet._

“Okay….why?” Keith’s eyes widened as he realized he’d just asked that out loud. His heart was beating erratically as Lance’s face contorted into one of thought. Eyebrows knitting and eyes zeroing in on the vast amount of nothingness ahead of them before he finally looked him in the eyes and shrugged.

“You’re….not the worst?” He says, silently cursing the fact that his answer came out more like a question than a statement. His heart was beating so loudly he could feel the blood rushing through his body….flinging himself into empty space was starting to seem like a viable option. But...then Keith laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Wow, what a great compliment” He couldn’t help but laugh. The answer was just so...so _Lance_. Sure, maybe his heart ached a bit after its hopes of a possible confession were crushed….but Lance hadn’t made a big deal about answering the question. Lance had answered like it was the most normal thing in the world to ask. He decided to stand, stepping away from the chair and leaning on it to get a better look at Lance. It was better than craning his neck to see him and Red didn’t show any signs of letting him pilot them home any time soon.

“I mean...you’re a cool guy and look...if this is weird for you we can just stop?” Lance turns his body to face Keith, concern written on his face and Keith feels the urge to look away. He didn’t feel like he deserved that look. For Lance to care so much about what he felt in this situation. The situation Keith had created for them in a moment of panic….because he was so disoriented by the fact that people thought they were dating. That people saw them as a _perfect_ pair.

“No!- no, no it's fine” He caught himself, letting out a sigh to avoid sounding as flustered as he actually was. He just hoped the crack in his voice hadn’t been noticeable. “...I just don’t want you to be weirded out...Kolivan and Emae can be ...a bit much and...friendship...this, everything is new to me”

Right...this was still new to Keith. That was why he was so flustered and panicky….not because he possibly actually thought of Lance in _that_ way. It was silly to let himself hope for even a moment...though it was a nice moment. Maybe he could pretend in his dreams. “How about we set some ground rules?”

“Ground rules?”

“Yeah, just...things we’re both cool with?” Lance shifted, not being able to stay in place as he explained what was on his mind. Sitting...sitting was better than pacing. So, he did. He plopped himself down against the wall at the back of the cockpit, near the door to the storage compartment, “You know...In case they’re gonna make us act like a couple in front of them”

“Right….” His eyes followed Lance as he moved to the other side of the room and sat down, his body automatically following when Lance motioned for him to sit too. He didn’t think, he just sat….right next to Lance. Well...it was better than forcing himself to stare into Lance’s eyes. He couldn’t handle that right now, not while they were talking about the conditions of their fake relationship.

“So...hugs?” Lance’s fingers were drumming against his thigh. It was really the only thing he could do to keep himself from reaching out for Keith’s hand. He really wanted to hold his hand...or cradle his face with his hands...kiss him...just...hold him. Be close to him.

“Fine. Not weird...friends hug” _We’ve hugged and I wish we hugged more often_. Keith pushed the thought out of his mind as quickly as it had come to mind. It was his own fault they didn’t have contact like that often...Keith...didn’t usually let people in and see him like that. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable and being left in a vulnerable position and Lance knew that. Lance respected it so much so, he was asking for permission for that exact same thing.

“Yeah, that’s the spirit” Lance grins at him, resisting the urge to drape his arm around Keith’s shoulder and getting as close as he physically could.  “...hand holding?”

“Uh….just in front of the Blades, right?” _Of course, it's for the Blades, you idiot. Why would he be asking to hold your hand in general?_ Keith was getting his hopes up internally and honestly, he was sick of this and the useless pinning. He _couldn’t_ have Lance. Lance didn’t want him. Lance would never, could never want him and the sooner he accepted that the better off he would be.

“Yeah. Couples do that...I mean we don’t have to, I can just do what I did earlier and just kinda drape my arm on your shoulder” Lance offers, taking the opportunity to indulge in his selfish desires and do just that. It felt _nice_ . though….Nice might not do the feeling justice. Having his arm around Keith just felt _right_. It made his stomach flip and his heart forget how to beat properly. It made him feel warm. It made his skin tingle and the air around him feel lighter. It made him happier.  

“Either of those are….okay” Keith slowly follows Lance’s arm back to his face, biting back the gasp that rose in his throat when he noticed how close they actually were. He didn’t mind it. He never did. Especially not when they were alone because then he didn't have to answer any questions.

“Cool, cool...so uhm….cheek kisses might be crossing the line, for you at least” Lance looks away from Keith after saying that. His mind was going crazy with the idea of ever having to do that in front of another person. He couldn’t see a situation in which he would have to….there was no reason for the Blade to ever demand a cheek kiss between the two of them...or any type of intimacy if he was being honest but….a selfish part of him wanted to see how much he could get away with. How much Keith would let him get away with….because...maybe...just maybe if he let him get away with enough...he could charm his way into his heart and make an improbable idea real.

“For me?” Was that supposed to be an insult? No...not from Lance anyway. He hardly ever said anything to directly insult Keith when it wasn’t to tease him about one thing or another. So, that meant Lance was legitimately thinking of his wellbeing- also not a new concept yet, it still surprised him just the same.

“Yeah, I mean I have no problem with it. I kiss my family on the cheek, heck I’d kiss Hunk or Pidge on the cheek. Hunk I have, pretty sure Pidge would bite my face off “ It wasn’t a lie. He had kissed Hunk on the cheek a handful of times in thanks for his kind words or just in excitement. There was also the time Hunk had gone away to visit his family for some time, leaving lance alone in their dorm room and Lance had gone all out when receiving him back. Hunk was his best friend and a pretty affectionate guy himself so...it had never been odd.

A moment of silence passed between the two as Keith seemingly thought about what Lance had just mentioned. In reality, Keith was lost in the thought of how a cheek kiss would absolutely wreck him, the idea of it alone was making his stomach tie itself in knots. What if his skin was too rough? What if it seemed so obviously fake? WHat id they expected him to do the same and he failed in some way? Was there a wrong way to kiss someone's cheek?“...that’s fine too”

“You sure? We don’t have to...if it makes you uncomfortable” Lance swear he heard Red purring in approval...is this what she wanted? _I said don’t get your hopes up, we’re just friends and this is just a hypothetical...a really…..really nice one but, one that is NOT going to happen!_ Red didn’t seem to like that too much...though it seemed that her growl of annoyance was heard by Keith, judging by the way his eyebrows quirked in curiosity.

“I don’t care….if you’re okay then I’m okay” He was playing with the velcro straps of his gloves now, letting out a soft sigh as he looked up at Lance. Their eyes met for the first time since sitting so close...now they were seemingly closer. How?   
  
“Okay, cool...so there’s one more thing.” Lance looked like he was debating asking for this one last thing...and he was. He didn’t know if it was pushing it too far...or if they would ever be pushed that far. Better safe than sorry? Did that apply to this situation? Either way, his nerves were eating up at him but he still couldn’t bring himself to look away from Keith’s eyes. Eyes that were staring right back at him. Eyes that were so...so absolutely stunning that they left him in a daze everytime he caught sight of them. Eyes that threw his brain into a frenzy every time they were focused on him, just like they were now. He had Keith’s undivided attention.

“Yeah?” Keith gulped, trying not to jump to conclusions. The whole scenario felt...surreal...if this had been a dream, this would have been around the part where Lance confessed to him before leaning in nice and close. Not that he dreamed of a scenario like this...nope...not ever.

“On the topic of kisses...so...if we have to...for some weird reason, actually kiss?” He let out an awkward laugh that died halfway out of his throat. Why had he just asked that? Why wasn’t Keith saying anything?

“On...on the lips?” Keith spoke slow and quiet with eyes still focused on Lance’s, even as they searched for another feature of his to focus on. He immediately felt stupid for asking. Though, Lance thought it was cute- not that he’d ever find that out. Keith could be so utterly clueless at moments and well...it was cute. Mostly because of the look on his face. The way his eyes widened and lips pressed together was just...irresistibly adorable. You’d have to be a heartless monster to believe otherwise. 

“Yeah- I mean I can’t think of a reason we’d have to but just...I don’t know a just in case?” he trails off, still lost in his imagination and the eyes in front of him once he finally gave in and allowed himself to stare into them shamelessly. It was only natural to look at someone in the eyes as they spoke to you, right? Right.

“Oh- I mean I guess-”  Keith was interrupted by a voice, a familiar one at that. Apparently, they had landed in the hangars...who knows how long ago and neither of them had noticed.

“You guys planning on coming out of there or what?” It was Pidge. She was standing along with the others, apparently awaiting their arrival….Right, that makes sense. They wanted to see Keith, who he’d gotten to get...for that purpose...not to talk about their fake relationship.

“Uh...raincheck on this conversation for later?” Lance stood quickly, dusting himself off and holding out his hand to help Keith up. Their hands lingered for a moment longer than what was necessary...but neither of them noticed. It probably would have thrown their minds into a panic if they had.

“Yeah...later” Once Keith gathered his uniform, the two made their way out to greet the others and explain why it took so long to get back to the Castle. Though, it wasn’t like Pidge...or anyone else for that matter would really believe absolutely nothing happened during that conversation in the Red Lion or that Red never let either of them take the control. Keith didn’t care though, he was more concerned with what Lance wanted to talk about and Lance? He was internally panicking over actually agreeing to talk about it. But it would have to wait for when they were alone again. For when no one could misunderstand what was happening, so no one would tease them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long but college started and just o o f. On the bright side, I have a better outline of the rest of the story! As you can see by the now completed number of chapters happening. I doubt I'm going to change my mind but it does look like 19 is the magical number.


	11. Which Path Will You Take?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance talks to Hunk and Keith talks to Pidge...but both of them just ignore all the good advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a hot minute since I last posted but this quarter in school is really kicking my butt :/ so but I'm still working on this on any free time I get!

“You guys were in there for a while? Is everything okay? Lance, you didn’t get hurt did you? I told you that you didn’t need to hurry but, no you just zoomed on out of here! You didn’t even eat breakfast! ” Lance couldn’t help but laugh as Hunk dragged the two of them into a big hug..it almost sounded like his mother...Thugh, he was always reminded of his mother when he was being scolded and reminded people cared about him at the same time. 

“Relax, Red was just...being a little more moody than usual today. She was kinda scolding us and wouldn’t let us leave” He embraces the hug, patting his best friend’s shoulder to try and reassure him. He was going to remind Hunk that hugging Keith so suddenly might not have been 

“Mhm, that’s what they all say” Pidge was smirking, arms folded across her chest as she examined the two. It sent a prickle of worry down Lance and Keith’s spines. Logically, Pidge  _ couldn’t _ know about their conversation….but something inside the both of them knew that this girl was intuitive. She had hunches and naturally followed them- and most of the time she was right. More than most of the time. Her accuracy was downright frightening. It was what almost convinced Lance that she was more robot than girl- a comment that nearly earned him a wrench to the face...though he was sure she missed entirely on purpose which, made that moment even more terrifying. 

“Whatever it was, I’m glad you two are safe” Shiro spoke up now, motioning for Hunk to let the two breathe. He was a bit suspicious too but...well he wouldn’t pry. Not after the way the talk he tried having with them went the last time. 

“And just in time to help clean!” It was Coran now, with his eccentric yelling and happy grin shoving himself into the two’s vision. 

“Ugh….but I haven’t even had breakfast yet” Lance groaned...partially from the realization that he was indeed hungry and the realization that his hope to spend time with Keith was thrown out the window. At least they still had later that night… unless Keith decided to room with Pidge- totally understandable if he did...even if it would be a bit disappointing. 

“Well...I suppose you could clean the kitchen with Hunk” Coran pressed a finger to his chin, thinking deeply of his grouping “Hunk can heat up some breakfast and the two of you can clean up there! Which means...Keith! You’re with Pidge!” 

“I can live with that” Keith says with a shrug, looking over at Pidge...who was already heading to what he assumed was where Hunk and she worked on their gadgets. Right...that stuff needed to be cleaned too. He’d have to talk to her...about all this. He couldn’t trust her not to say I told you so or that she knew something was going on but...he could trust her to keep quiet. “ Hey, wait up!” 

“The faster we clean the faster I can get back to reprogramming! You better hurry up” 

“Come on, buddy. I’ll get some food in you and then we’ll make the place spotless” Hunk muses, linking his arm around Lance’s shoulder as he ushered him to the kitchen. 

* * *

“Hunk this is amazing” Lance was basically shoveling the food into his mouth. It was a bowl of a pale green substance they referred to as oatmeal...since it was pretty close to it in consistency. Lance wasn’t a big fan of oatmeal in general but, this was sweeter and somehow less grainy….and when Hunk topped it with different space fruits...it was basically heaven. A Heaven Lance’s empty stomach was thoroughly enjoying.

“Really?!” Lance smiles with cheeks full. It was hard not to. Hunk’s face lit up every time someone gave him even the semblance of a compliment towards his cooking and Lance would admit that he loved seeing his best friend happy. He was a ray of sunshine that deserved all the compliments in the world but… that didn’t mean that Lance didn’t reserve the right to mess around with him. 

“That or I’m just really hungry” He muses, swallowing and laughing when Hunk threw a dish towel at his face “Love you too, buddy” He chuckles, throwing the towel back at Hunk who was making a face at him. It was nice...to mess around like this. To be normal for once. To shovel food into his mouth as Hunk scrubbed away at the counter. To let a calmness sweep over them and just enjoy being there in each other’s company. 

“So...what’s up with you and Keith” It was Hunk that broke their silence as Lance swallowed his last spoonful. It made him wish he hadn’t eaten so fast so he’d have an excuse not to answer.

“....nothing” He mutters, unable to really lie to Hunk as he shuffled pass him to wash his bowl. He hoped not looking at him would come off more as him trying to get focused on cleaning but...he was an expressive guy and the uplift of his voice at the end of his sentence really didn't help. 

“I know that look, there’s definitely something” 

“...so that whole fake dating thing. In front of the Blade?” Lance focused himself on scrubbing the bowl clean. It helped keep his mind calm..keep him from just screaming in frustration and from looking at Hunk’s concerned face. A face that was sure to get him to break if the tone of his voice was any indication. It wasn’t like he  _ wanted _ to hide these this. He just knew what Hunk would say and he agreed! But that didn’t stop him.    
  
“Yeah, totally a bad idea but when does anyone listen to me?” 

“I know it is! I know you’re right but it’s either that or no Keith and I think we all like Keith coming around more often” 

“Some of us more than others” Hunk muses, the tone of his voice pointing at Lance so strongly it made his face flush and his body tense for a second. He wasn’t wrong though. Not one bit and that was the truly embarrassing part. He missed Keith when he wasn’t there and adored having him near when he was but he wouldn’t admit it. Even if it was obvious. 

  
“Not the point! Anyway..so on the ride back Red started acting really weird and I was gonna let Keith pilot us back here but she just stayed in autopilot” he was mumbling but Hunk had moved close enough to listen, cleaning the counter to the left of him. 

“Uh-huh…you guys didn’t...do anything did you?” His tone was cautious and it was only then that Lance realized why he could be implying- something,..that was  _ very _ different from what had actually happened. The implication shocked him, so much so he nearly dropped the bowl back into the sink while he was moving it to the side to dry. 

“Jesus! Hunk, no! No, of course not!” He knew his face was burning and judging by the laugh Hunk let out when he whipped his head to look at him, his expression wasn’t helping his situation “We just...talked... and I’m kinda worried I made it weird? I mean I don’t think I said anything weird but...things just  _ felt _ different, ya know? ” 

“Why?” 

“I kinda started...seeing how far he’d be okay with going to keep up the whole fake dating thing” he mumbles, eyes downcasting as he picked at his fingernails “and...we landed right when I was gonna ask about kissing”

“...and?” Lance didn’t have to look at Hunk to know what he looked like right then. Head tilted, eyebrow raised and arms crossed. 

“I told him we’d continue the conversation later but, I don’t know if I wanna know. I mean sure...we were sitting really close and he was right there and I keep thinking about it but what if that’s too far. Hand holding and hugs are one thing but...I know it’s just a kiss but I really like him and…” He was rambling now and so close to pacing the floor that he was grateful when Hunk cut him off. 

“And you don’t wanna use this situation to get what you want?”

“Yeah…” He didn’t. He didn’t want to use Keith. He wanted these things to be real….more than he’d let himself admit. He wanted to hold hands because the  _ could _ and because they  _ wanted _ to not because they had to. To kiss his cheek and have Keith know it was genuine. To just...freely put his feelings out there which, usually came easily to him but in this case...well it didn’t. This was different.  _ Keith _ was different. 

“Listen, buddy” Lance relaxed as he felt the familiar arm wrap around his shoulders and pull him into a comfortable side hug “I know you want to have Keith around. We all do but, I also know you’re way too good of a guy to force Keith into doing something he doesn’t want to do. You know Keith, he won’t do anything he doesn’t want or need to do. I doubt the situation will even come up, alright? But, if it does... I really think you shouldn’t. I know you. You’re just gonna end up beating yourself up over it and I really don’t want to see you do that, not anymore than you already are. You’re quick on your feet, Keith too. I’m pretty sure you guys can lie your way out of it if you have to” 

“....I know you’re right...but...I can’t be the reason we don’t see him anymore” Lance admits, shoulders slumping as he rested against Hunk.

“Lance...buddy.. No one’s going to blame you” Hunk hugged Lance tightly, holding it for a moment before giving him a gentle clap on the back “Come on….let’s get our clean on! Get your mind off of things, alright?” 

* * *

“You what?” Keith stopped cleaning off Hunk’s equipment to stare at Pidge, who was busy making labels for some of their drawers. He’d been talking to Pidge since...well he trusted she wouldn’t tell Lance anything he said but...he needed to tell her their situation from the beginning. Or so he thought anyway.

“Totally already knew about the fake dating stuff. Lance told us. Was he not supposed to?” She looked up, maker in hand and a look that Keith took to be concern. She didn’t want to be the one to slip up and say something she wasn’t supposed to...which at least assured Keith she wouldn’t say a thing.

“No- no…” She gave him a look, silently asking him ‘then why are you so surprised’. Why was he? “I... just didn’t think he would”  _ But, then again….it’s Lance _ , he thinks to himself, realizing Lance probably told them just so they knew exactly why Keith was able to come...probably so they wouldn’t bring it up and embarrass him. Him being Lance. Keith couldn’t care less- no that was a lie...this entire situation was sort of freaking him out and after what happened in Red...that slight freaking out was a panic button. 

“It’s Lance” She says bluntly, like most things she said...it was straight to the point and Keith could appreciate that. Did appreciate that. “He was real freaked out this morning when you called since he was running late.”

“Freaked out?” That worried him...part of him knew that calling him that early had been a bad idea but, he couldn’t risk their cover being blown that or Lance being disappointed if a rumor about him being a bad boyfriend spread around...something he had secretly assured the Blade’s who questioned him he wasn’t. Lance just...seemed like he’d be a good boyfriend...not...that...he thought about that.    
  
“Not in a bad way” Pidge assures him, capping her marker and deciding to take a break on the labeling to sit across from Keith. “He was just kinda all over the place. He’s fine, why? You worried about him?~” 

“....kind of” He tried to ignore the smirk spreading on Pidge’s face as she leaned in with a stoic expression but the heat in his cheeks told him he wasn’t doing a good job at hiding it. 

“Figured” A laugh escaped her as she leaned back, arms crossed with a triumphant grin taking over her smirk. There was hope for the both of them. 

“What?” 

“You’re into him” Blunt. Straight to the point….maybe he didn’t appreciate this as much as he thought he did. 

“I’m-” Keith couldn’t even finish the first word before Pidge was pointing a finger at him warningly, effectively cutting him off with a strong look of disapproval and a sharp hush.

“Don’t even try to deny it, Kogane. Everyone can tell- except for Lance but he’s just….dense” She didn’t mean it as an insult. He wasn’t stupid...just sometimes he didn’t get the full picture before jumping to conclusions. “Now, what happened?” 

“Why do you think something happened?” 

“Why else would you bring up the whole fake dating thing? Unless you wanna have a girl chat, which I am also down for….just expected it more from Lance than you” The smirk crawled back on her face as Keith looked away. She was right and she knew it. She just had to get Keith to admit it. 

“No...I just...he...I have no idea what I’m going to do. I want to be near him, I really do...I think...I want to be with him but...I wouldn’t be any good for him-” He was playing with the velcro straps of his gloves, not really looking at Pidge as he talked. 

“Stop right there. I’m not gonna sit here and listen to you talk badly about yourself”

“Pidge, I almost died because I was impulsive. I’ll probably do it again….do you know how worried he was? He deserves better than that! Plus...I don’t even know if he’s into  _ me _ like that and then he starts talking all these what ifs and I have no idea how to respond” His mind was doing into panic mode and his fingers were curling around his frustration but, Pidge was doing a good job at just remaining calm. Usually Lance was there...to talk him down but...he couldn’t clear his head with him because  _ he _ was technically the problem. And...it wasn’t like he needed Lance right now. He just needed to know what to do. 

“Some background would be nice?” 

“Right….so...In Red, he just said something about setting boundaries and started asking me if holding hands...and hugs...and just stuff like that was okay...” he trailed off, playing with the velcro straps of his gloves...it was the next best thing to pacing. Which he really...really wanted to do. 

“And?” Brow arched, arms crossed...at least she wasn’t smirking anymore? But now it felt more like judging though he knew that Pidge would never- in the sense that she would start thinking badly of him anyway. Her neutral expression just...left him feeling like he really was in the wrong. Which...he thought he was. 

“I said yes?” That answer earned him an eye roll. As if all his problems were solved already but...he knew it was partially his fault for not clearing up what was really bothering him. Not that he knew  _ how _ to do that anyway. 

“So what am I supposed to do about that? You answered him already”

“I dunno...give me some advice or something?” Another eye roll, followed by a shrug as she thought about her words carefully. It wasn’t odd for Pidge to do that. He just expected her to spit something out right away...though he appreciated that she was taking his small problem into consideration.

“You want my advice? Just ask him out already. Rip off the bandaid” Yeah...he was definitely not appreciating her bluntness. Not like usual anyway. She was right...he just...couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even bring himself to imagine it. 

“I can’t just do  _ that _ ” He really couldn’t. There were better things to do. More important things. They were in the middle of a war and here he was sitting on the floor talking to Pidge about his ‘boy problems’....it just made him feel kind of silly? Like the feelings, he was having really had no place in their current situation, even if he knew that was complete bullshit. If Shiro was here he’d tell him that his feelings are valid no matter what and he should let himself feel it but, right now he couldn’t let himself feel it. Not when he needed a clear head. Not when his main focus was surviving. Not when he knew he’d find himself worrying constantly about Lance if he let himself. Not when he was impulsive and too hot-headed to think of consequences before doing. Even  _ if _ he found Lance felt the same way… He was shoot first ask questions later- that kind of attitude didn’t belong to attachment. Shouldn’t belong to attachment. 

“Keith, yes you can. Just tell him. It’ll stop you from feeling so crummy about this” he hand was on his shoulder now, giving it a small squeeze “Seriously, you’re just making it a huge mess by letting it stew inside of you like this. Do yourself a favor and just tell him. At least you’ll have your answer by the end of it and won’t have to think about it so much. Seriously, I can smell the burning” she smiles softly at her joke and Keith found himself smiling back. 

“Thanks...I’ll think about it”  

* * *

The rest of the day had been rather exhausting but...Lance couldn’t seem to forget what he wanted to ask Keith. The question kept popping up in his head and he was just itching for an answer. Hunk was right, he knew that. It was a bad idea. In the long run….it would make him feel dirty. Like he was abusing Keith’s cluelessness and he never wanted to do that. He just...needed to know. It wasn’t like they were actually going to kiss! It was just...a hypothetical. He just needed to know if Keith  _ would _ kiss him because, if he wasn’t completely appalled by the idea then...maybe...just maybe Lance could woo him. Given time and the hope that no one caught Keith’s eye beforehand. With all this running through his head, he was oddly quiet during the walk to his room.

“Lance? Are you okay?” Keith asks quietly, turning to face Lance once they were at the door of the room. Lance was almost never quiet and Keith knew when he was, it wasn’t a good thing. Not in this context at least. He couldn’t have been quietly thinking of his family, a funny story or something to say because his smile wasn’t there. He was stoic and if Keith didn’t know any better, he would think that he was trying to pull off an impression of him. 

“Oh.,,yeah...uh...just thinking” He didn’t want to say about what. He hoped Keith wouldn’t ask so...he was quick to open the door, instantly making his way to his drawers for pajamas before making a beeline to the restroom “I’m gonna shower real quick...cleaning the kitchen made me feel all slimey, ya know?” 

“Cool, I’ll probably take one after...are we…?” Keith knew something was going on but he couldn’t bring himself to ask and being inside of the room again made him realize what happened the week before. It wasn’t that he was against cuddling Lance again...he was just afraid to make the entire situation odd by cuddling Lance again. 

“Yeah, of course we are, unless you want us both to sleep on the floor? We’ve both had a long day...i think...we deserve a good night’s rest...uh...I didn’t get you any pajamas so...if you wanna go sort through your room be my guest but...feel free to get something from my drawer ” Lance says, leaving one of the drawers open for Keith to look at. “You’re being weird” he mumbles to himself as he ran the water, watching it for a moment before undressing and stepping in. He was hoping a nice warm shower would help him clear his mind. Veronica had always said that a clean body paved the way to a clear mind and a lot of the time it worked. It was some silly thing they had read in a fashion magazine years ago but, in practice...it got Lance out of a lot of slumps. Right now...it  really didn’t. It just have him the space to actually process what was going through his head.  _ You’re pushing it McClain. You know you are. If he says he doesn’t mind, it won’t mean anything. He isn’t into  _ **_you_ ** _. You’re just going to hurt yourself and then you’ll push him away. You’ll hurt him too. Is that really what you want? Do you want to ruin this friendship?  _ He didn’t. Well...no he did...just not in the sense of them not being around each other anymore. He wanted to be around him more than ever before and the situation with the Blades was just making him realize how much he wanted it. How well they could fit together if only….“I just had to go and bring up kisses, didn’t I?” he mumbles, standing under the running water for a moment and patting his cheeks before cutting the water off. If anything...he’d given himself a moment of useless pinning before he had to go out there and shut off those feelings. He changed quickly, water droplets still clinging to the ends of his hair as he slung the towel around his shoulders and stepped back out to reality. A reality where Keith was in his room. One where Keith was going to sleep in the same room as him.  _ Keith is going to be the death of me _ “All yours buddy” 

“Thanks...you sure you’re alright?” Keith had been looking at the neat stack of drawings Lance had discarded on his desk. He kept meaning to pin them up but, for now the stack of drawings handed to him by dozens of alien children who had witnessed the Voltron Show. Lance had looked at each of them. Some portraying him next to Blue and others next to Red. There was a handful that portrayed Allura and him with what he was told said ‘Blue Paladins’ in an alien language he couldn’t recognize. The one Keith was looking at though, was the only one given to Lance that portrayed both ‘Red Paladins’. It was Lance’s favorite, for reasons he wouldn’t admit out in the open...but that was beside the point. He set the papers down, gathering his things and making his way to the restroom..

“Peachy” It came out more strained than he meant it to and that didn’t go unnoticed by Keith. He wanted to ask, pick at Lance’s brain until he either got what was wrong out of him or got him to lighten up in some way. He wasn’t used to this. It was usually Lance breaking him down, getting him to lighten up...Keith barely had to try to keep the smile on his face. He watched for a moment as Lance walked over to the drawings Keith had set down. He smiled, small and genuine and that was enough for Keith. For now anyway.  

In his mind, Keith was certain it had something to do with him. That he made a mistake by agreeing to the coupley things Lance was suggesting. He was being selfish but he wanted it. He wanted to hold onto Lance’s hand during debriefings that required his presence. He wanted the crooked smile on Lance’s face when they crossed paths on a mission to be a loving one. To be able to feel Lance’s arms around him without feeling a pang of guilt because he knew he was getting more out of the interaction than  he was. Subtle touches, glances and soft smiles. He wanted it  _ all _ . He wanted to reach out and be able to cup his cheeks. To place small kisses along his temple...to..A chill ran down his spine as the water temperature suddenly changed. He was grateful for it. He was going down a rabbit hole of wants that would become needs if he tried to indulge them and it was better not to. He couldn’t  _ need _ Lance. Not romantically. They weren’t in the right place to be able to fully enjoy what that would mean anyway...that being  _ if _ Lance felt the same way. And that was a pretty big if. Keith had always found Lance attractive. He knew that...even at the Garrison. Though he hadn’t known his name at the time and he was simply just admiring the other boy’s features. Now...now he was in deep. It hadn’t taken him long after cuddling and the small chunks of his dream from that time to piece it together. He just...couldn’t bring himself to do anything about it. He wouldn’t do anything about it. Lance was more transfixed on females anyway. Keith knew it was more logical that he’d see something in Princess Allura rather than him. She was understanding, level-headed and kind while Keith….Keith was impulsive, easily bothered and blunt. He couldn’t imagine himself being someone Lance would want and...he was starting to go through the process of being okay with that. If Lance could be happy. He would be too….Pidge had a point though...he deserved to know. Maybe years down the line when all of this was just a memory and Keith could recall his hopeless crush jokingly and have Lance laugh and agree on how ridiculous it was. He would tell him….someday….someday in the future. 

By the time Keith had stepped out of the shower, Lance was starting to put up some of the pictures. He was humming to himself and barely noticed Keith as he shuffled in. He turned to see Keith rubbing the towel against his damp hair furiously “Just shake your hair like a dog, pretty sure it’ll have the same effect” 

“Shut up” Keith says, grinning from underneath his towel as he made his way over to the bed. “You sure you’re alright?”

“Aw, are you actually worried about me, Mullet?” The grin on his face genuine and relieving to Keith. He seemed back to his normal self...maybe he was just tired. 

“I guess you’re fine then” A grin spread itself on Keith’s face as he teased the Cuban boy, stretching his back out before falling back on the bed. 

“I always am… I uh...was just thinking about stuff” 

“Stuff?” Lance had gone quiet again and Keith couldn’t keep himself from asking….not when Lance looked like he really had something to say but was holding back. Lance hardly ever held back...it was one of the things Keith admired about him. 

“In Red… part of me just thinks I made you uncomfortable and I never want to do that” Lance couldn’t look at Keith as he spoke but, he didn’t make his way to the other side of the bed. 

“Oh- that? No, no. You’re fine” Of course it’s about that. Lance was just...so kind he probably just felt bad putting Keith in that situation “...I didn’t get to answer the last one” 

“Oh, you don’t have to. I really don’t see a situation where we’d need to” 

“Well...if we have to...I’m okay with it” He assures him, sitting up on the bed and turning to face Lance. He was surprisingly calm though...his heart was beating wildly and so hard he could hear the thudding echoing through his mind. “It’ll be kind of a weird first kiss but whatever” 

“It would be your first kiss?” Lance finally turned to look at Keith. Eyes wide with surprise and searching for any hint that Keith was lying. 

“Yeah why? It’s just a kiss.”

“What?! No, it's not just a...Keith you are  _ not _ having your first kiss like that” Lance was surprised at the amount of force that went into that sentence. He didn’t want to do that though...take away Keith’s first kiss with something like this...if the situation ever happened anyway. Thank God it had such a small chance of happening. 

“Why not? It’s just a stupid kiss”  _ I want to kiss you _ , a sentence he almost says but pushes away before it even starts to slither out of his throat.

“It’s your first kiss! It’s supposed to be in secret or just I dunno...not expecting you to save it for the love of your life but just not in front of a group like that. That’s not fair” Lance was basically pouting as he insisted and Keith was so tempted to just give in and let Lance have his way….but he couldn’t. He needed an explanation. 

“Not fair?” 

“Yeah! Everyone’s entitled to an awkward first kiss! Ya know, a private moment you can laugh about years later but no one else except the people you tell know”  _ You should have it with someone you actually like, not me. I want you to have a good first kiss. I want you to have all the good in the world.  _

“I’m guessing you’ve had yours already?” Maybe he shouldn’t have sounded as disappointed as he was but...judging by Lance’s face… he couldn’t tell. Okay...maybe Pidge was right...he was a little dense.

“Oh- uh yeah...I was like thirteen? I really wouldn’t count it, it was just like a peck and she ran home after. Not in disgust or anything just in a ‘oh my god I just did that’ way and I just kinda stood there like a dummy” 

“Sounds like you” A grin spread itself on Keith’s face as he imagined the ordeal happening. He knew Lance then...well knew of him so, he could easily imagine the scrawny thirteen year old Lance standing there in shock. Mouth slightly agape and eyes so wide he looked like he was trying to impersonate an owl. It was...cute

“Hey! That’s not the point but...just...you deserve that. Normal childhood things, ya know?” Lance was smiling at Keith despite his half-assed insult. It was just normal banter between them and he knew Keith really meant nothing by it. It was just a way of teasing...moving the conversation forward when he really had nothing to say. 

“Not really” He didn’t...but he felt bad for saying it the minute he saw the shift in Lance’s face. He was ruining things, wasn’t he? 

“I...just...you deserve a first kiss that isn’t for an audience” Lance was quiet now, almost mumbling as he looked away from Keith again. Right...it was so easy to forget that not everyone grew up like him. That not everyone had boxes and boxes full of happy memories to draw off of when they needed them. 

“Yeah well...it’s fine. It doesn’t matter to me anyway.” It really didn’t. He couldn’t care less about how his first kiss went...but part of him was hoping that it would be Lance. That it could be Lance.

“It matters to me!”  _ That’s weird, isn’t it? He thinks it’s weird. I’m making it weird.  _

“Why? Listen, Lance, I appreciate the thought but I just don’t see it as that big of a deal. If it makes you uncomfortable just say it”  _ Please don’t say it. Please. If you don’t want it, I don’t want to hear it.  _

“No! It’s not that just….I can’t do that” 

“If we have to, we have to. What are you gonna do, It’s not like anyone’s dying to kiss me and it’s not like I’m trying to do anything about that either”  _ I want it to be you. Please, if anyone were to kiss me, I want it to be you. It’s selfish and stupid but, I want it to be you. _

“I’ll do it”  _ I am. I’d kiss you in a heartbeat.  _

“What?” It wasn’t for clarification...he heard Lance he just...couldn’t believe it...he could barely hear anything over the ‘ _ yes, yes yes’  _ that was repeating in his head.

“I’ll kiss you right now. I mean...you’re comfortable enough with me to be okay with it in front of a crowd...and I won’t let that be your first kiss...we can just get it over with…” 

“...you don’t have to do that” ... _ but please do _

“Buddy, trust me they’ll be able to tell if you have your first kiss in front of them...its awkward and..just...I’ve never kissed another guy so...it’ll be a first for both of us”  _ Let me kiss you. I want to kiss you. _

“I….I guess. If it isn’t too weird for you” 

  
“....anything to keep you around, Samurai. Mental health and just your happiness is important to all of us and...I won’t be the reason you don’t get that anymore” Lance didn’t know whether to mentally celebrate or punch himself in the gut. Maybe both. It was a bad idea and he knew it. He’d end up feeling gross and like he used Keith but….he wasn’t right? He just spent the last few minutes making sure it was absolutely okay with him...this was just...doing him a favor. 

“...okay” 

“Sorry...if you don’t uhm...like it….necessary evils, right?” Lance didn’t really let Keith answer his question. It was more rhetorical than anything if he was being honest. Keith had agreed and that was really all the motivation he needed. He wanted to keep it simple, seem calm and collected even though his heart was beating a mile a minute. His hand reached out, tucking hair behind Keith’s ear before the resting against his cheek. His mind barely took the time to register how perfectly it seemed to fit, how natural it felt before he was leaning in and guiding Keith towards him. It wasn’t much of a kiss. Just the soft connection of their lips held together for a moment. Lance didn’t want to let himself get carried away...to ruin this trust Keith had placed in him so he kept it innocent. The kind of first kiss they wouldn’t be ashamed of showing in a Disney movie….but he tried to fill it with a tenderness he believed Keith deserved out of a kiss. This boy deserved a fairy-tale. He deserved perfection and Lance would be damned before saying he wouldn't try. For this boy….he was beginning to realize there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do for this boy. His hand remained rested against Keith’s face when they pulled apart, eyes fluttering open and thumb gently circling the skin of his cheek. It wasn't much but, it had left him breathless.

“Right…” Keith mumbled, eyes still closed as he enjoyed the feeling of the soft pattern being traced against his skin. He knew next to nothing about relationships but...what he had witnessed was thanks to the almost disgustingly affectionate interactions he witnessed between Shiro and Adam. He could remember walking in on the two after their engagement sitting in a position similar to what he and Lance were currently in. Of course that was different...they were in love and they...they were just getting something out of the way. Still, he couldn’t get the image Adam’s hand resting on Shiro’s face, happy smiles on their faces and the feeling that he’d walked into a reality where nothing else existed except them out of his head. He remembered wondering if Shiro and Adam were an exception or if it really was possible to find someone and feel so...loved. He had  wondered then what it felt like to share the soft kisses they exchanged before turning to a younger Keith and telling him the great news. And he couldn’t help but wonder now...if this is what it had felt like. Was the tingling in his lips because this was his first kiss? Was it because it was Lance? He was overthinking this….but maybe…. “Uh….we should….probably...practice that more” 

“So it seems more natural” Lance blurts out too quickly but, the both of them were in too much of a daze to really notice or care for that matter.

“Yeah, exactly” 

“That’s what I was thinking” He took a breath as he felt his pulse started to slow down“...do you want to practice more right-” Lance barely had a chance to finish his question before lips crashed against his. Heart fluttering and eyes shutting as he draped an arm around Keith's neck. Alarms blared in both their minds, telling them this was a bad idea.That they were being desperate. That they were getting swept up in a fantasy. That this would hurt in the end. That this might not be worth it. That they were just practicing….pretending...but it felt so  _ right _ ...so why not enjoy it while it lasts? Why not let themselves have a moment?


End file.
